My supervisor was sleeping with an associate. Eventually, as most work shenanigans do, theirs burned out and got ugly. [Associate] was at the register next to mine with several people in line waiting to check out when [Supervisor] approached. He stepped between the woman finishing her transaction and the one waiting to start. When the first woman left, [Supervisor] handed [Associate] a piece of paper.

Associate: “What?” *Looks at the paper* “A drug test?!”

Supervisor: *Smiling* “All employees agree to remain drug-free throughout employment. Drug tests may be performed at any time for any reason.”

Associate: “Are you serious?”

Supervisor: “I scheduled you an appointment at [Nearby Clinic] in twenty minutes.”

[Associate] left, took her drug test… and did not come back. [Supervisor] left at the end of his shift and also did not come back. Rumor has it that before [Associate] left for her test, she told Human Resources that [Supervisor] had sold her cocaine and marijuana at a discount for sleeping with him and allowing him to steal things when he went through her register. Security reviewed the tapes and he was consequently fired.

The retail store where I work is a very informal place, and all of the employees are good friends with each other. One of my female coworkers starts tossing pens at me from her register.

Coworker: “How many pens can I throw at you before you get mad at me?”

Me: “Depends. How long can I stare at your boobs before you get mad at me?”

Coworker: “Fair point.”

Many years ago, I worked first-line tech support for a satellite TV company. I usually like working in customer service because I like to help people and make their lives a little easier, but this place had terrible working conditions. It was an inbound call center, and the only sort of quality control they were concerned with was how long our call times were and how much stuff we could sell to the poor customers who were calling in asking for help with their equipment. 

The fixation on call times was ridiculous. If my average call time exceeded two minutes and didn’t result in a sale, I would be called in to have a serious conversation with my managers. 

One day, I received this call.

Customer: “My remote control stopped working again. This is so stupid. You need to get better quality equipment. Can you send me a new one?”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Did you try to change the batteries?”

Customer: “No, I’ve never needed to change them before. They just send me a new remote. How soon can I have it? I want to watch the game on Sunday.”

Me: “Sorry, no one asked you to change the batteries before? They will run out after a while, you know. If you open the little hatch on the back, you will find a compartment there. Most remotes run on double-A batteries; you can get them at the grocery store.”

Customer: “You mean I could get this working today?”

Me: “Most likely, yes. Listen, why don’t you try that first, and if it doesn’t work, you can give us a call back? Make sure to check what kind of batteries are in your remote and get the same kind.”

Customer: “I’ll do that, thank you!”

We ended the call and I took a look at this customer’s call history. He’d called about having trouble with his remote control twice before. Both those times, the associate who had taken the call had just ordered him a new remote without even trying to resolve his issue, most likely to keep their call times down. Since it was within the warranty, it ended up costing the company money.

Yes, my call time was over two minutes for this one. Yes, I got chewed out for it. Within three months of working for this company, I was completely burned out and ended up having to quit.

When I say, “quit,” I mean, “fell into a big, black depression hole”. My doctor strongly encouraged me to have a talk with my managers and find a way to accommodate my medical issues. My managers strongly encouraged me to quit without offering any other alternatives. I did quit since I couldn’t bear working another day there, only to find out after I had already signed the paperwork that since I technically quit on my own demand, I would have to wait three months to be eligible for unemployment benefits. Those were three very hungry months. Yes, I should have known better, but I was young and the union was practically non-existent in that workplace.

I’m from the South but live in the Midwest at the time of this story. I work in a small town. A mobile clothing boutique is making a stop in town, so I go over there on my lunch break to check out what they have. I come back to work.

Coworker: “Did you find anything?”

I hold up a small bag.

Me: “There’s so much good stuff.”

Coworker: “Where are they parked? I’m going over there during my lunch.”

Me: “Up the road a bit, off of…”

I don’t live in town, so I draw a blank on the street name.

Me: “I forget the street name. But they’re not too far, probably a half-mile over yonder.”

I point toward the main road. My coworker looks at me like I have sprouted another head.

Coworker: “Yonder?”

Me: “Yep. Just follow the traffic. There were a bunch of cars pulling in when I left.”

Coworker: “No, no. What kind of word is ‘yonder’?”

Me: “Oh, I keep forgetting that I’m not in [State]. Yonder is just a word for ‘over there.’” 

Coworker: “But where is ‘yonder’?”

Me: “It’s a general term that I’m using because I don’t remember the street name.”

Coworker: “But WHERE?”

Me: “If you pass [Local Furniture Store], you’ve gone too far. Better?”

Coworker: “That’s all you had to say!”

She walked out. I sighed loudly.

I worked at a large printing company. Work accidents can be costly for a business. In January, my company announced a new safety incentive policy. If our facility averaged only one injury a month, for the entire year, everyone would get a monetary Safety Bonus at the end of the year.

It is now November, and we have had twelve work injuries to date. Twelve is the limit for getting the Safety Bonus. If no one has an accident in the next few weeks, all the employees will get the bonus money.

Late in November, a job opening is posted for a coveted position. A dozen people apply for the job, including [Coworker #1]. The next week, the job is given to [Coworker #2].

[Coworker #1] is extremely upset by management’s choice. They stomp into the plant manager’s office to complain about being passed over for the promotion.

As [Coworker #1] is loudly venting their displeasure at the plant manager, they slam their fist down hard on the manager’s desk to emphasize the point.

In their rage, [Coworker #1] slams their fist down so hard they fracture two bones in their hand.

And that’s work accident number thirteen for the year.

No “Safety Bonus” was issued that year because [Coworker #1] lost it.