(I’m a barista at a very popular coffee chain. Even though we call out drinks with their full description AND customer name, AND the drinks are labeled, people still frequently just grab drinks that are not theirs, only to complain later that we’ve given them the wrong drink. This particular day is very busy and full of customers like that, so after my shift I call my cousin to vent about my day.)

Me: *explains drink problem* “I just do not understand! How do you just walk up, grab a random drink, and assume it’s yours, when it’s clearly not? How do these people even get their pants on in the morning?!”

Cousin: “Apparently they put on someone else’s pants in the morning.”

(She left me near tears with that one; I couldn’t stop laughing.)

Shortly after I graduate from college, I’m working part-time in retail. I apply for a full-time event photographer’s position online and receive a call back. I’ve had several other interviews that didn’t pan out recently, so I quickly agree, despite the location in question being over an hour-and-a-half drive away, when the position listing had said it was more local. They inform me that they have multiple candidates to interview that day, and would like to meet on neutral grounds in a chain coffee shop.

Being a bit paranoid about traffic and not knowing the area well, I arrive early on the day and read in my car while I wait. About five minutes before my appointed time, I head into the coffee shop. The interviewer is clearly in view, with a laptop and large drink in front of her, and a small placard with her name on it like you’d see on someone’s desk in reception.

I walk up to introduce myself, and she points vaguely behind her without even looking up to see who I am, and informs me that there are two interviews ahead of mine, so I’ll have to wait.

A bit annoyed now that I was paranoid about being so early, I sit down. After half an hour, none of the interviews have started, and staff have pointedly come by to wipe my table down twice, so I get up and order a cold drink. After another fifteen minutes, the interviewer calls all three of us to her table and says we’ll just do some of the interview all together, to save time. She waits until we’re seated, turns her laptop around, and a video starts playing.

I can feel the other two candidates deflating next to me as the video plays: the job listing advertised for a professional event photographer for a new company, but is actually just a newly named branch of a well-known yearbook photography company, who has decided to expand into the market of preschools.

The video is all about their ideal candidate:

“Good with kids!” “Cheerful and punctual!” “Willing to go above and beyond!” “No photography experience necessary!”

The more we hear, the worse it gets compared to the original listing, and the more it sounds like a scam. They don’t compensate for driving time. They don’t compensate for set-up time. There’s a fee that acts as a deposit on the equipment that we apparently have to pay before we start. They pay a flat rate per school no matter how many kids, or how much time it takes. So on and so forth.

After we watch the video, we split up again for individual interviews. By the time it’s my turn, I’ve been at the location for roughly two hours, in addition to the drive to get there. By now, I’m considering whether to leave or stick it out. I decide to finish the interview, and do my best throughout, because a full-time position might still be better than my current job, even if it isn’t what I’d expected it to be. I put genuine effort into the interview, though the interviewer seems distracted and keeps looking down at her watch as we talk.

Towards the end of the roughly fifteen-minute interview, she asks if I have any questions, and I give the usual responses:

“What kind of training do they provide if experience isn’t necessary?” “What kind of equipment do they use?” “What is the deposit fee like?” “Are we expected to do retouching, or just straight photos?” “When can I expect to hear back about this interview, and when would I be expected to start if I receive an offer?”

She glosses over most of the questions, but sticks on the last one. Her expression changes entirely and she finally looks me in the face and says, “I don’t know why each of you has asked that. We’re not even hiring for the new school year yet. This was just to gauge the market.”

And suddenly I feel like screaming. I’m pretty sure my face turns bright red from holding in that sudden surge of absolute humiliated rage. I say that’s all I have, thank her for her time, and shake her hand. I then march straight to my car with my portfolio. By the time I leave, rush hour is starting, and the drive home takes two hours. The minute I get in the door, I find the nearest couch cushion, and finally scream into it.

I’ve never received a call about the interview, and even if I had, I think I’d have told them quite politely to shove the offer up their a**es.

(I work in a coffee shop that sells blended ice drinks. In order to blend well, we use whole milk, but can use other substitutes; it just might not blend smoothly. If a customer asks for a non-dairy substitute, we are required to ask if they would like whipped cream — which is standard for our blended drinks — in case of a dairy allergy.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a medium latte, and… a medium caramel blended coffee. Can you do almond milk with that?”

Me: “Of course! Personally, I would just add a very tiny amount of heavy cream to it. Almond milk tastes good, but it tends to make it chunky, so I find adding a little heavy cream makes it much better.”

Customer: “Umm, I don’t know. I’m getting it for a friend, and she’s very allergic to dairy, so no, thank you.”

Me: “All right, no problem! So, I guess you don’t want the whip on there, either, then.”

Customer: “Oh, no, she can have whipped cream!”

(I work in a national chain coffee shop similar to the one with the mermaid logo; we have a rewards app similar to theirs, although neither the app nor our store look the same in concept or design. A customer comes in who has been coming in pretty regularly the past couple of weeks. The first time I saw her, she recognized my boss and had a lengthy conversation with him, so it’s somewhat fair to assume she’s not unfamiliar with our cafe.)

Customer: *pulling out her phone to show me* “I have a free drink with you guys.”

Me: *instantly realizing it isn’t our application* “Um, I’m not sure that that’s our app.”

Customer: *condescendingly* “Yes, it issss!”

Me: “Are you sure? Would you mind taking it to the home page or something really quickly so I could verify?”

(The customer proceeds to exit out of the app, and I see on her screen she has the app for our competitor, which is what she presses on.)

Me: “Yeah, that’s not for this store.”

Customer: *in the same tone as before* “Yes, it issss!”

Me: “Uh, no, this is for [Competitor]. You’re at [My Cafe].”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “Right, so, it doesn’t work here.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Um… Because it’s for [Competitor]. Again, we’re [My Cafe]. It doesn’t apply here.”

Customer: “Well, why not?!”

Me: *completely baffled that she hasn’t understood* “Because that’s the application for [Competitor] and it does not work here, because we are [My Cafe].”

Customer: “I don’t understand the difference!”

Me: “It’s for [Competitor], which is not our company. We are a totally separate company, completely unaffiliated with them, and we have a totally different application. Again, that’s for [Competitor], and that’s why we can’t accept it.”

Customer: “Oh! This isn’t [Competitor]?”

(She left after this. I’m still confused how she knew my boss so well and had been coming fairly consistently, yet didn’t realize this entire time that we were a totally different company. Our logos, design, concept, menu, and even colour scheme are completely different. Sadly, this is pretty common!)

(I work at a donut and coffee place. There is one customer who always demands two turbo shots — espresso shots — but is only charged for one at $0.99 each. She has a very specific request on how to make her iced coffee correctly. She pulls up into our drive-thru.)

Customer: “Large iced caramel coffee with a large turbo shot.”

Me: “Okay, your total is $5.13.”

Customer: “Excuse me. That is not what I ordered.”

Me: “I apologize.”

(I recite her order back with same total.)

Customer: “That price isn’t right. I am a regular; where is the manager?”

Me: “I apologize, but the manager has left for the day.”

(By this time my coworker is telling me she is a regular and always gets said order. The customer pulls up, fuming. I open the drive-thru window and I am met with cursing and ranting about how I am doing my job incorrectly. I apologize and make her coffee.)

Customer: “That is not how I want it.”

Me: “This is the way we are taught to make an iced coffee.”

Customer: “I don’t get ice first; it’s the large turbo shot that is first. You aren’t giving me a large.”

Me: “Ma’am, again, I apologize, but I cannot put a hot beverage in a plastic cup, and I could be burned. You only wanted to pay for one of the turbo shots. I cannot give you a large without you paying for it, as I will lose my job.”

Customer: “Where the f*** is [Coworker]?”

Me: “She is currently with a customer at the front counter, if you would like to come in.”

Customer: “WHY THE F*** WOULD I COME IN IF I AM IN THE DRIVE-THRU?!”

Me: “Again, I apologize. Please do not yell at me. [Coworker] is busy, and I also have other customers waiting in line.”

Customer: “I DON’T GIVE A D*** WHO IS WAITING! I AM A REGULAR AND I GET WHAT I WANT EVERY TIME.” *drives off*

Coworker: “She is our regular, and the manager gives her what she asks for.”

Me: “Why? She still has to pay for what she wants. We can actually lose our jobs for incorrectly or not charging someone.”

(Weeks go by and I avoid this regular like the plague.)

Manager: “Hey, so we had a complaint from one of our regular customers that you did not serve them what they wanted. She also has your work schedule.”

Me: “Excuse me. She has what now? She also should be charged for her large turbo shot like everyone else.”

Manager: “Well, [Coworker] says you wouldn’t give it to her. She also is the one taking photos of your schedule and giving them to the customer.”

Me: “That is illegal. She is not an employee or management and should not have that information. It is clearly a safety issue.”

(I actually got suspended for saying how wrong it was because I did not give this regular something she did not pay for. I was told I was wrong for feeling unsafe with some stranger I didn’t know having my schedule. This happened a year ago and I am still speaking with a lawyer about how this company did nothing for their employees and their safety.)