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Cat Poop: It’s What’s For Dinner

, , , , , , | Healthy | July 22, 2021

My cat’s name is Dinner; my boyfriend, who is Vietnamese American, named him. He hasn’t been feeling well (the cat), and the vet told me to bring in a fecal sample.

They are still doing business by car, so when I pull up and the vet tech comes out, I hand over the bag of poop.

Me: “This is for Dinner.”

Vet Tech: *Stammering* “Thank you?”

Then, I come to my senses.

Me: *Laughing* “It’s a sample from my cat, Dinner. The vet needs it.”

She was so professional and so polite, in spite of her “WTF” face.

Don’t Put Much Stock In This

, , , , , | Working | March 9, 2021

I’m the lowest-ranking manager at my store. I have had to stay at home for nearly a week with my small child because she is sick; as a single mother, there’s no way for me to work when she’s ill. 

After nearly a full work week, I go back to work.

Everything seems to be fine, but I get a call from one of the assistant managers asking me to come to the office. I think nothing of it, because I call the store manager into the office when I need him.

Me: “Hey, what’s up? Sorry it took a few minutes; I was with a customer.”

Assistant Store Manager #1: “You know that cleaning and stocking the mop closet is your responsibility, right?”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Assistant Store Manager #1: “Well, I had to clean and stock it this week, and it’s not my job to do so. Do you see why this isn’t okay?”

Me: “Well, I stocked it on Saturday, so it couldn’t have been too bad.”

Since in my state we legally are closed on Sundays, it would have been stocked for the upcoming week.

Assistant Store Manager #1: “I don’t care; it’s not my job to do this. The closet wasn’t stocked at all.”

Me: *To [Assistant Store Manager #2]*  “You saw me stock it last Saturday, right?”

Assistant Store Manager #2: “Yeah, because you asked what supplies we needed to order.”

Me: *To [Assistant Store Manager #1]* ” I’ve been gone all week. How could I have ‘fixed’ it if I wasn’t here? What was the problem?” 

Assistant Store Manager #1: *Pauses* “Well, the mop closet stinks!”

Me: “And I told you I’m fighting with the floor staff to stop leaving mops in dirty mop water, but none of you will back me up, so it is what it is.”

I STILL got yelled at, even if I didn’t get into official trouble.

Cheap Sparkling Entitlement

, , , , , | Right | February 4, 2021

I work for a family-owned chain of liquor stores in Texas. It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and we’ll be closed the next day due to Texas liquor laws. I’m the wine department lead; one of my coworkers comes up to me to ask me to help a customer that’s looking for wine.

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I help you find today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need a case of this [Sweet, Cheap Sparkling Wine]. You’re supposed to have a case set aside at all times for [Customer], but you never have it!”

I’ve never seen this man in my life, and we’ve never had a standing order for this wine since I’ve been working at this location.

Me: “Let me check our inventory for you, sir.”

We only have three bottles at my location, but another of our locations less than ten minutes away shows that they have two full cases.

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but you’ve got the only three bottles we have in the store. [Other Location] has two cases, though, so they should be able to help you. Do you want me to call them and ask them to set nine more bottles aside? We can give you the case price at both locations.”

The customer has been rude up until this point, but he starts yelling in our packed store.

Customer: “I need those bottles, now! Here, not at [Other Location]! Call them and tell them to bring it to me!”

According to Texas liquor laws, we can’t transfer across the county line, and our other location isn’t in the same county as us — never mind the fact that our transfer trucks aren’t running during the third busiest day of the year for us.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but [Other Location] is in [County], so we can’t do a transfer. Even if we could, though, we wouldn’t be able to get it until next week.”

Customer: “You’ve just ruined my Thanksgiving! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!”

He stormed off and complained about me to my store manager, who ended up checking him out. He got even angrier when my manager pointed out, cheerfully, that the other location was just a straight shot ahead, with only one turn.

Lighter On Their Wallets

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 21, 2020

It is a week before Christmas and my mom is visiting from out of state. My roommate, my mom, and I decide to keep with tradition and go to one of the better Christmas light displays. We are really excited! Money is tight, but I happen to know that this show is the cheapest one in town. We load ourselves into the car and, singing merrily, head out to see the lights.

To our horror, when we get to the venue, the price is more than double what we expected! We are crushed; it’s more than any of us can afford.

At just that moment, a man leaving the venue, kid in his arms and another running along playfully in front of him, flags us down. He explains that he has an extra ticket; he bought the family pack but not everyone could go, and he asks if we would like it. My mom, surprised by his generosity, gratefully accepts the ticket. As the man walks away with his cute kids, my mom looks at the ticket in her hands. Paging through the paper ticket, we belatedly realize that the man has given us, not one, but three whole tickets! It’s enough for all of us to get into the light show!

We were never able to catch up to the man to thank him enough for his gift, but he brought such love and happiness to our little group. Thank you, kind sir, and I hope that whenever you are now, you know you were our Christmas Miracle!

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for December 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for December 2020 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for December 2020!

Totally Estúpido! Part 14

, , , , , , | Romantic | November 10, 2020

I just boarded the airplane with my significant other traveling on vacation. The flight attendant is attempting to explain to an Asian couple that doesn’t speak English that they can’t sit in the exit row.

Attendant: “You can’t sit here if you don’t understand English. I have to move you to another row.”

There is no response from the couple.

Attendant: *Louder* “You can’t sit here. I need to move you.”

There’s still no response.

Attendant: *Louder and slower* “I need to move you.”

Significant Other: *To me* “You speak Spanish. Maybe you can help.”

Me: “They’re… Chinese…”

Totally Estúpido! Part 13
Totally Estupido, Part 12
Totally Estupido, Part 11
Totally Estupido, Part 10
Totally Estupido, Part 9