I’m a 6’4, 350-lb male working the closing shift with one other girl in the food area of a prominent furniture chain. The girl working with me is 5’6, very sweet, and heavily accented. I’m coming back from a break, when I hear this exchange begin.

Co-Worker: One vanilla cone, that’ll be one dollar.
Customer: I want it in a cup.
Co-Worker: Certainly, though there is an extra charge. One-fifty.
Customer: No I want it for one dollar.
Co-worker: I’m sorry, but there is a price difference.
Customer: But I want it in a cup.

This continues for a couple of minutes, until I walk out, and smile.

Me: Evening.

The customer looks over, looks UP at me, turns to her and bows his head a little.

Customer: I’ll just have the cones.

She wanders off to make them, trying not to crack up.

(It’s my time of the month with a heavy flow and I have a very nasty sinus and ear infection, so there are a ton of medications in my system. I still get myself to work at the fabric store as I don’t feel that bad. A half-hour into my shift, I suddenly become very weak and my legs become very shaky. Still, I put on a brave face to not worry my coworkers and customers and just lean on the counter and carts for balance. I’m catching my breath when I notice a customer coming up to the counter.)

Me: *assume an acting face* “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer: *not convinced* “Are you all right? You weren’t looking that good a moment ago, and you’re pale.”

Me: “I’ll be all right; it will pass.”

Customer: “Are you sure? Do you need anything, like water or food?”

Me: “Maybe, but I’ll hold off until my break. How much do you need?”

Customer: “Four yards, and I’ll be right back.”

(I begin to measure out her material while she runs up to the front. She returns a few minutes later with a chocolate bar in hand.)

Customer: “There you go.”

Me: *shocked* “Oh, wow… You didn’t have to.”

Customer: “Chocolate makes everything better. Your blood sugar might be low so this should help.”

(She was right. After a few nibbles on the chocolate and a quick break, my strength returned and I was able to finish my shift with no problems. I saw the same customer a few days later and she was very happy to see that I was doing better and that the chocolate had helped.)

(I hand the cashier a $25 iTunes gift card.)

Cashier: How much do you want on this? *looks at card* Oh right, $25.

(I am a middle school teacher. We have announcements every day at the end of school. The principal is making an announcement about our new writing club and this is what I hear:)

Principal: “Do you like writing or kind of like writing? The join our writing club! Join others to create short stories, p*rn, and other fun things!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Students: “Poems. She said poems.”

(The students definitely heard the same thing I did, too. The principal might want to enunciate a bit more!)

My husband & I are British so sometimes the accent poses problems but not this much.

Husband (en route to the airport). ‘Terminal A please,
Driver ‘Terminal E’
Husband ‘ Terminal A’
Driver ‘Terminal E’
Husband ‘No terminal A, as in A for Apple’
Driver ‘E for Apple?’