I work in the Online Sales Dept at a place that sells customizable promotional products such as foam-based can kuuzies, Igloo brand coolers, etc. Part of my job is to answer customer’s questions over the phone. One day, I get this gem:

Me: Hi, this is [Name]. How may I help you?
Customer: Hi! I was browsing your website and I saw your “customizable digital can kuuzies.” I was just wondering: are the kuuzies real? Like, can I actually use it and put a drink in it?
[I hesitate for a second, wondering if it’s a prank, but the customer seems sincere.]
Me: Uhh, yes, ma’am. The kuuzies are real and you can put them on your drink.
Customer: Oh, good! Thanks! [click]

(Many years ago, I bought a brand-new car from the local dealership. A few months later, I began receiving phone calls from the dealership offering to appraise my now-used vehicle as a trade-in on a new car. After a while I was getting these phone calls at least weekly. Every time they called, I asked to be put on the do-not-call list. I explained that I was not planning to trade my car in anytime soon and that I didn’t want any more phone calls. The calls persisted, however, and I ended up telling them several times that if the calls continued, I would never buy from that dealership again anyway. The calls continued. Finally, fed up, I agreed to make an appointment to come in and have my car appraised. Of course, when the day and time came, I had better things to do. After the appointment time has come and gone, I receive a call from one of the salesmen at the dealership.)

Sales Guy: “Hi! I was calling to remind you that you had an appointment today for an appraisal of your [car]. Did you have an emergency that kept you from coming in?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I know I had an appointment. I just didn’t come.”

Sales Guy: “Um, you just didn’t come?”

Me: “No. I’ve asked you guys over and over to stop calling, and you kept calling, so I just decided to make an appointment whenever you call.”

Sales Guy: “So, you had no intention of coming in?”

Me: “Nope.”

Sales Guy: “So, you made an appointment knowing you wouldn’t come in?!”

Me: “Yep.”

Sales Guy: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “I can and I did and I will every time one of your guys calls me again.”

Sales Guy: “But you’re wasting our time!”

Me: “Then stop calling me. When a paying customer tells you they don’t want any more of your solicitation calls, especially when the calls are coming multiple times per week, maybe listen?!”

(The calls stopped after that, and my next car was a different brand.)

(It’s the morning shift of a stocking day, so I usually have to put away the contents of a truck while simultaneously attending to any customers my coworkers are too busy to help. My coworkers at this time of day usually include only my manager, maybe one additional crew member, and a cook. As the early morning turns to a few hours until noon, we start getting more and more customers all at once, forcing my manager and additional crew member to call for my help to handle them all. I head to the front of the store to take out a few orders. Before I deliver to this one woman, my manager tells me that she wants to pay with her credit card. I can see more customers coming in and I know my coworkers are going to need my help with them, too, so I don’t really give it much thought. I just take it out.)

Me: *places her order on her table* “Here we are, ma’am. That’ll be $8.78.”

Woman: “I wanted to pay with my card, but it wouldn’t work. Something’s wrong with your machine. I have money on my card.”

(Our booths are installed with a card scanner that allows customers to pay for their orders before they arrive, but because we prioritize speed at our restaurant, we often stop the clock on orders before they’re ready, which causes the machine to think the order is on its way to the customer before it actually is.)

Me: “If I had to guess, the machine probably didn’t have a chance to actually do anything with your card. Let’s try again.”

(I enter in a code that lets me pull up her order and allow it to be paid for — assuming it wasn’t already paid for — and then attempt to run the card.)

Machine: *declines card*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your card is being declined.”

Woman: “I know I have money on it; it must be the machine.”

Me: “Well, let’s try another one, then.”

(I take the card to another machine, enter the code, and swipe the card on her order, only to get the same message.)

Me: “I’m… sorry, ma’am. While I won’t claim to know what the problem is, I can say with relative certainty that it’s not an issue with our scanners. These machines have been working on the vast majority of cards perfectly fine since yesterday.”

Woman: *accepts her card back and pulls out her phone* “Fine. I don’t carry cash on me, so I’ll pay with the app.”

Me: “Let me just get the app payment code for your order.”

(I go just behind the see-through employees-only door to pull up the information on a system-tablet. I return and gives her the number.)

Woman: “What do I do with that?”

Me: *comes to the conclusion this is her first time using the app* “You enter it into the app and the order gets paid for.”

(She spends several minutes fiddling with her phone. All the while, I can see customers pouring in. Likewise, I set up the tablet on the other side of the see-through door with the screen showing that the order hasn’t been paid yet.)

Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Woman: “My phone’s just taking a few minutes to download the app.”

(I was flabbergasted. The app pays by means of prepaid amounts put into a personal account. I was going to have to wait here while she downloaded the app, set up an account, and put $10 on said account before she could pay; all the while, my coworkers were scrambling, trying to juggle the influx of new customers without me. I couldn’t just leave, lest I be held responsible for anything that happened. She took twelve minutes. Anyone who works in the fast food industry knows how long twelve minutes is to coworkers and waiting customers!)

(I’m driving my five-year-old daughter to daycare, and on the way, we’re listening to a very popular rock radio morning show. Today, the hosts are comparing “Bohemian Rhapsody” to “Rocketman.” As I pull up to the daycare and I’m walking her inside, she says:)

Daughter: “Mommy! I didn’t know our Freddie Mercury was famous enough to be talked about on the radio!”

Me: “[Daughter], they weren’t talking about our cat. They were talking about the singer he was named after.”

Daughter: “But I like cats better…”

(Due to it being my time of month with a heavy flow and a very nasty sinus and ear infection, there are a ton of medications in my system but I still get myself to work as I don’t feel that bad. A half hour into my shift I suddenly become very weak and my legs become very shaky. Still I put on a brave face to not worry my coworkers and customers and just lean on the counter and carts for balance. I’m catching my breath when I notice a customer coming up to the counter.)

Me: *assume acting face* Hi, how can I help you.

Customer: *not convinced* Are you alright? You weren’t looking that good and you’re pale.

Me: I’ll be alright it will pass.

Customer: Are you sure? Do you need anything like water or food?

Me: Maybe but I’ll hold off till my break, how much do you need?

Customer: Four yards and I’ll be right back.

(I begin to measure out her material while she runs up to the front. She returns a few minutes later with a chocolate bar in hand.)

Customer: There you go.

Me: *shocked* Oh wow…you didn’t have too.

Customer: Chocolate makes everything better. You’re blood sugar might be low so this should help.

(She was right. After a few nibbles on the chocolate and a quick break, my strength returned and I was able to finish my shift with no problems. I saw the same customer a few days later and she was very happy to see that I was doing better and that the chocolate helped.)