Whipping Up Some Harsh Truths

(I work in a coffee shop that sells blended ice drinks. In order to blend well, we use whole milk, but can use other substitutes; it just might not blend smoothly. If a customer asks for a non-dairy substitute, we are required to ask if they would like whipped cream — which is standard for our blended drinks — in case of a dairy allergy.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a medium latte, and… a medium caramel blended coffee. Can you do almond milk with that?”

Me: “Of course! Personally, I would just add a very tiny amount of heavy cream to it. Almond milk tastes good, but it tends to make it chunky, so I find adding a little heavy cream makes it much better.”

Customer: “Umm, I don’t know. I’m getting it for a friend, and she’s very allergic to dairy, so no, thank you.”

Me: “All right, no problem! So, I guess you don’t want the whip on there, either, then.”

Customer: “Oh, no, she can have whipped cream!”