I work at an Italian restaurant where we serve Italian sodas. One afternoon, I get a larger family group, and among them are a couple of kids no older than ten. We have a variety of flavors and one happens to be honeydew.

Kid: “What’s honeydew?”

Me: “It’s a melon.”

I explain how we actually make the soda. His honest and serious response is:

Kid: “Oh. I thought you took, like, honey and added Mountain Dew or something.”

I couldn’t help but just smile and walk away. That interaction made my entire day.

Camping in the summer is a tradition in my family, especially since my grandparents have a trailer. I’m a small, bookish elementary schooler and my grandfather is watching me play in front of the trailer.

An adult volunteer is going around the campground inviting children to a program about butterflies native to Michigan, including monarchs.

Volunteer: “Hello! Do you like butterflies?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Volunteer: “We’re going to have a program with them soon. You can find out where monarch butterflies live!”

Me: “Don’t they live here and then fly all the way to Mexico?”

Volunteer: “Um… yes! Do you know what they eat?”

Me: “Yeah! They eat milkweed as caterpillars because it makes them taste gross to predators, and when they’re grown up they drink nectar, but they still taste bad so birds don’t eat them.”

Volunteer: “That’s right!”

The volunteer gets increasingly flustered as I geek out over monarch butterflies, oblivious to her struggle. When the volunteer gives me the details of the program and scurries away, I turn around to see my grandfather quietly laughing.

Me: “What?”

Grandfather: “I don’t think she expected you to know so much about butterflies!”

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I was browsing a pet store for a hairbrush and was the only customer in the store at the time, so it was dead quiet. There was just one employee at the front of the store — the cashier — who happened to be a young girl in her teens.

While I was taking my time looking around, a woman and three young girls charged through the door. The woman started looking at the nearby pet beds while the girls ran around all over the store, screaming and throwing the animal toys at each other. 

Then, they went over to the adoptable cats’ cages and began slamming their hands on the bars, shouting at the cats to come over so they could pet them. The cats were, of course, terrified and started freaking out. The girls got tired of waiting for the cats to come to them, so they went over to the discount bin and started tossing items on the floor.

Suddenly, the mother called out to all of them that it was time to go, and they all left the store. All of this happened in literally the span of three minutes. The mother hadn’t bought anything, she never said anything to the cashier or even watched over the girls, and the whole front of the store was in complete disarray. The cashier and I were so stunned at their behavior that we could only watch in disbelief.

I looked at the cashier and said, “Don’t you just love your job?”

She replied with only a pitiful whimper.

I am working at the ticket kiosk for a historic fort. A man walks up to me with two young children and purchases tickets. As he’s doing so, both of us notice that his daughter is pouting.

Guest: “Now, what are you pouting about? We got to go on a cool boat ride, we went to a nice restaurant, and now we’re going to a military fort!”

Daughter: “I hate military forts!”

Me: “Aww. But there’s a lot of neat stuff there for kids!”

Daughter: *Glares up at me* “NO, THERE ISN’T!”

I am taken aback, but I laugh anyway.

Me: “Well, I work there! I would think I would know! There’s a whole building for kids to play in and—”

Daughter: “NO, THERE ISN’T!”

Man: “Come on; let’s go up to the fort.”

As they leave my range of vision, I can still hear the daughter screaming as she walks away.

Daughter: “I hate military forts! I hate this place! I hate this vacation! I HATE EVERYTHING!”

I’ve parked my car and rushed to get a parking coupon from a machine. You put coins in the machine and press the “OK” button, it prints you a coupon that states how long you can park your car, and you have to put that coupon inside your car window.

I’ve just put coins in the machine and am searching for more when somebody right beside me reaches for the “OK” button. When I turn my head to see what is happening, there is an elementary school kid, nine or so and probably on his way from school, frantically pressing the “OK” button, looking at me. I just stare at him and suddenly, he runs off.

The machine processes the transaction and after a while, it prints me a ticket that has too little parking time for me to use.