I am working at the ticket kiosk for a historic fort. A man walks up to me with two young children and purchases tickets. As he’s doing so, both of us notice that his daughter is pouting.

Guest: “Now, what are you pouting about? We got to go on a cool boat ride, we went to a nice restaurant, and now we’re going to a military fort!”

Daughter: “I hate military forts!”

Me: “Aww. But there’s a lot of neat stuff there for kids!”

Daughter: *Glares up at me* “NO, THERE ISN’T!”

I am taken aback, but I laugh anyway.

Me: “Well, I work there! I would think I would know! There’s a whole building for kids to play in and—”

Daughter: “NO, THERE ISN’T!”

Man: “Come on; let’s go up to the fort.”

As they leave my range of vision, I can still hear the daughter screaming as she walks away.

Daughter: “I hate military forts! I hate this place! I hate this vacation! I HATE EVERYTHING!”

I’ve parked my car and rushed to get a parking coupon from a machine. You put coins in the machine and press the “OK” button, it prints you a coupon that states how long you can park your car, and you have to put that coupon inside your car window.

I’ve just put coins in the machine and am searching for more when somebody right beside me reaches for the “OK” button. When I turn my head to see what is happening, there is an elementary school kid, nine or so and probably on his way from school, frantically pressing the “OK” button, looking at me. I just stare at him and suddenly, he runs off.

The machine processes the transaction and after a while, it prints me a ticket that has too little parking time for me to use.

I ask my four-year-old grandson what happened to his eye.

Grandson: “We were playing store and [Almost Two-Year-Old brother] was a mean customer. He threw a bucket at me.”

I’m at a large animal-themed amusement park. I’m near a structure of wooden poles and suspended ropes with monkeys living on it when I happen to overhear a small boy talking to his mother, who’s totally absorbed in her phone.

Boy: *Pointing at monkeys* “Mommy, look! N*****s!”

Mom: “Huh? What was that?”

Boy: “N*****s!”

Mom: *Glances up* “Oh. That’s nice, sweetie.” 

She immediately resumed playing on her phone.

I was far too shocked to even speak up.

I am a babysitter to a four-year-old girl. She, like many small children, is obsessed with Disney movies, particularly one about an ice queen. She enjoys talking about the intricacies of the plot and scenes she likes, but her memory isn’t that great, so she will often ask for assistance to remember the details. However, her understanding of how memory works is… flawed.

Child: “Hey, [My Name], do you remember [very small portion of a non-important scene]?”

Me: “I don’t remember that one specifically, no.”

Child: “But you said you’ve seen this movie!”

Me: “I have, but not for a while.” 

Child: *After a pause* “There.” 

Me: “What, ‘there’?”

Child: “I’ve stopped thinking about it. Now you can have it.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Child: “I’m not seeing the movie in my head anymore. That way you can see it.”

Me: “That’s… not the way it works.”