Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Acting Snappy

, , , , , | Right | December 16, 2010

Customer: “Do you have a 72mm lens cap?”

Me: “Yes. We do.”

Customer: “Is it a 72mm lens cap?”

Me: “Yes, it is. That is what you asked for, right?”

Customer: “Yes, but is it a 72mm lens cap?”

Me: “As I said, yes, it is.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Actually, no. It’s a 55mm, but bring your camera in. I have a hammer and I’m sure I can make it work for you.”


This story is part of the Sarcastic Responses roundup!

Read the next Sarcastic Responses roundup story!

Read the Sarcastic Responses roundup!

Pray There’s No Back Door

, , , , , , , | Right | December 6, 2010

Customer: *referring to the recital hall* “Excuse me, can you direct me to your Rectal Hall?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “The Rectal Hall. I need to get into your Rectal Hall. Where is your Rectal Hall?”

Me: “I sincerely doubt you want the answer to that question.”

Directionless Call, Part 2

, , , , | Right | November 20, 2010

Me: “Hello, this is [Company].”

Caller: “Hi, who just called me?”

Me: “I’m not sure. You’ve reached general reception.”

Caller: “Well, someone just called me from this number.”

Me: “Sorry, but there’s no way for me to tell who called you, as this is the general number.”

Customer: “What are you?”

(I explain the company.)

Customer: “I didn’t understand anything about what you just said. Why did you call me?”

Me: “It could be a wrong number.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Stop wasting my time by calling me if you don’t know who you are, please!”

The Router To Success, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | November 17, 2010

Me: “Good morning, can I help you?”

Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the server.”

Me: “No problem. I have to ask if you’re able to see if all the cables are connected properly and the computer is functioning properly.”

Customer: “Are you trying to imply that I am stupid? That I can’t tell if something isn’t plugged in? I don’t want to talk to you! I want to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Sir, I am in fact the manager, and I meant no disrespect. This is step one in our problem-solving protocol.”

Customer: “So, will you come here and fix my problem?”

Me: “I have noticed that you have not signed or returned your service agreement, and I will be forced to charge you $100 for an onsite repair.”

Customer: “That’s fine; it must be broken. Get here as soon as you can.”

(Two hours of driving in traffic later…)

Me: “Sir, I have found your problem.”

Customer: “Oh, and what do you have to repair?”

Me: “Nothing. Your router was unplugged.”

Best Keep A Lid On Acts That Stupid

, , , , , | Right | November 13, 2010

(A customer comes in, clearly inebriated, and orders a chili. We get it for him, he sits down but a couple of minutes later he comes back up to the counter.)

Customer: “I think my chili is still frozen.”

Me: “Are you sure? It should be quite hot.”

Customer: “I’ll show you.”

(He gets the chili and attempts to put his spoon in it.)

Me: “Sir, the lid is still on.”


This story is part of our Oblivious Customers roundup!

Read the next Oblivious Customers roundup story!

Read the Oblivious Customers roundup!