Slowly Getting It, One Quarter At A Time

(I have just ordered a meal at a fast food restaurant, and my bill comes to $4.15. I have a $5 bill and I do not want a fist full of change, so I offer the cashier a quarter and the five. She looks at me blankly.)

Cashier: “That’s too much. I just need the five.”

Me: “Can you just give me the change?”

Cashier: “I can give you change for the five. I don’t need the quarter.”

Me: “I really don’t want all that change, if you don’t mind.”

Cashier: “Uh, I don’t know if I can do that.”

Me: “Just give me a dollar and a dime.”

Cashier: “I’ll have to check with the manager about this. It doesn’t look right.”

(Summons the manager.)

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Me: “The bill is $4.15. I gave the cashier $5.25, but she doesn’t know how to make change for it.”

Manager: “We just need the five. You get 85 cents change.”

Me: “I’d prefer to not have all that change. Just give me a dollar and a dime.”

Manager: “Listen, bud. We get scammers in here all the time. If you don’t want to pay, I’ll call the cops.”

Me: *surrenders* “That won’t be necessary. I’ll just take the change.”

Manager: “Ring him up.”

(I give the cashier $5, she gives me three quarters and a dime change. I pocket the dime and pull out my quarter.)

Me: “Can I get a dollar bill for these four quarters?”

Manager: “Sure! We can always use the quarters!”