I’m a customer service agent for an insurance company. The people I help on the phone have questions about either their car, house, or travel insurance. Right now, we get a lot of customers who have questions about their travel insurance and recompense for cancellation costs if they cancel their holidays due to the current health crisis. Not this customer, though; he has a whole new set of reasons.

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to cancel my holiday with my family, and I was wondering if my travel insurance will cover the cancellation costs.”

Me: “Can you tell me what happened? In certain circumstances, we do cover cancellation costs, and with the current events, we are a bit more lenient with those circumstances.”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to cancel my holiday because I need to go to the hospital with my girlfriend for an echo; she is pregnant.”

Me: “Congratulations! Was your girlfriend also going on this trip?”

Customer: “Of course not! I was going with my wife and kids! And can you change the email address you have from us? That way my wife won’t find out about this.”

Me: “Let me get this straight; you want us to pay for your cancelled holiday with your wife and kids because you got your girlfriend pregnant?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

Definitely the weirdest cancellation reason I heard so far!

My sister is working at the front desk at a hotel and the rule is that she can’t flirt with guests. However, there is a group of men staying at the hotel for a while working on a gas line. One is a little flirty with my sister and often stops to talk with her and tries to get her to go out for drinks with him. One day, he isn’t with the typical group of guys he’s always with.

Sister: “Hey, where’s your friend?”

Guest: “Oh, his wife went into labor so he left early.”

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For the record, I still don’t know if I’m the good or the bad guy in this story. While I’m proud of myself for finally speaking my mind, I recognize that my actions were incredibly unprofessional.

Some background is required. Several years ago, I was part of a group of friends who met at [Person #1]’s house to play board games once a week. After several months with this group, I was let in on the Big Secret: [Person #1] was cheating on his wife with [Person #2]. I was let in on this secret in order for [Person #1] and [Person #2] to be able to act like a couple in front of the group of friends away from [Person #1]’s wife and discuss their relationship without having to hide the affair around the group.

The expectation was that I would keep the Big Secret. I was incredibly uncomfortable with this arrangement; I hadn’t asked for the information and did not want it. I think affairs are horrible and I felt terrible for [Person #1]’s wife. Things went sour shortly afterward, and I ended up leaving the group feeling extremely bitter. I should point out, however, that I never gave up the Big Secret.

Fast forward to this year. I work for an internationally-known gaming convention at the front desk, and this year I am taking time cards as the convention comes to a close. With this convention, employees go by pseudonyms instead of our real names. Someone I vaguely recognize hands me their time card. He looks at me and as I start to realize who it is, he says, “Do you remember me?” Just as I figure out who he is, he says, “You used to come over to my house to play board games.”

Yes, it is [Person #1]. I reply with, “And you’re cheating on your wife.” It just flies out of my mouth before I realize what I’m saying. He grows cold, says, “Yes, I am,” and walks off.

I’ve already handed the time card to my immediate supervisor, so I ask her to rifle through the cards. She pulls one out and reads his real name, and I start cursing. I start imagining all the different kinds of trouble I’m going to get in for being so rude to a coworker. I explain everything to my supervisor, and she advises me to walk around the expo hall for the next hour to calm down. I do as she recommends, and when I come back, I talk to the manager of all of the convention employees.

I explain to the manager my shared history with [Person #1], and before I can finish telling her what happened an hour earlier, she starts laughing! She says she finds the whole thing hilarious and that she would have done the exact same thing I did. [Person #1]’s behavior is disgusting and I have nothing to worry about. What a relief!

I go back to work with a huge weight off my shoulders. Because I went right to the top, I’m safe if [Person #1] complains to his immediate supervisor. And hey, I finally got to speak my mind!

The guy I’m dating likes to surprise me by visiting me at work. I decide to return the favor. I walk into the store where he works and see him flirting with a female coworker. His back is to me, so he doesn’t realize I’m there. 

I stand there for a minute, debating whether I should just turn around and walk out. The female coworker looks over at me and immediately steps away from him. He turns around, does a double-take, and gives me a big hug.

Boyfriend: “Oh, [My Name]! I didn’t know you were stopping in today!”

Me: “I thought I’d surprise you. But it looks like you’re too busy doing other things.” 

His face turns red.

Boyfriend: “Never too busy for you! Oh, this is [Coworker]. [Coworker], this is [My Name]. She’s my… good friend.”

I raise an eyebrow.

Me: “‘Good friend,’ huh? That’s one way to put it. [Coworker], it’s nice to meet you. I think I’ll let y’all get back to what you were doing.”

I spin around and walk out. He chases me down.

Boyfriend: “C’mon, babe, don’t be like that.”

Me: “What? You don’t like how your good friend is acting?”

Boyfriend: *Pause* “I f***ed up, didn’t I?”

Me: “That’s one way to put it.”

As you can probably guess, THAT relationship didn’t last much longer!

Many years ago, I lived on the bottom floor of a shared house, and a married couple lived on the top floor. I was very shy at the time and just wanted to stay out of other people’s business, but about a week after I moved in, every weeknight the upstairs was resounding with the sound of furious lovemaking. I could hear the bed thumping against the wall and the lustful yells were enough to wake the dead. It was disturbing my sleep. 

After about a month of this, I waited for a weekend, knocked on the upstairs door, and timidly suggested that they be a little bit quieter while making love at night. 

Cue a glare that would freeze Hell from the husband, directed at his wife. 

It turns out he worked nights.