Unsolicited Hookups Really Get My Goat

, , , , | Romantic | July 13, 2017

(As a bit of a backstory, I am demisexual, which is on the asexuality scale. Usually leads to some interesting conversation, especially whenever I go out to a bar. As I’m enjoying my night, I get approached by this guy trying to get an easy hookup. He makes a pass and I gently turn him down.)

Me: “Sorry, I’m not into that sort of stuff. I’m asexual.” *my usual response because it’s a h*** of a lot easier than trying to explain demisexuality, etc.*

Guy: “The f*** does that mean?”

Me: “It means I’m not interested in hooking up?”

Guy: “So, do you not like sex then?”

Me: “I mean, to oversimplify it, sure.”

Guy: “Nah, that sounds f*****. You probably just haven’t had a partner that knows how to get you going.”

Me: “Considering I’m a virgin, I highly doubt it.”

Guy: “Wait, if you’ve never had sex, how do you know you don’t like it?”

Me: “Would you f*** a goat?”

Guy: *sputtering* “F***, no. That’s disgusting.”

Me: “Well, how do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it?”

Guy: “…you’re a b****.”

This Just Isn’t Going To Cowork

, , , , | Romantic | June 23, 2017

(I am 17 and my coworker is old enough to be my mother. One day her son, who is a little older than I am, comes to bring her lunch while I’m working. The next day…)

Coworker: “So, [Son] had a lot of questions about you last night.”

Me: “Questions? All I did was let him in the door.”

Coworker: “He thought you were real pretty! Wanted to know if I had your number in my phone.”

Me: “Was he disappointed when you didn’t?”

Coworker: *laughing* “He was. If we didn’t work together I’d be rooting for you, though. I know you’re not crazy like his last girlfriend.”

(The next week her son is in the office again and waggles his eyebrows at me, walking in my direction. Suddenly, my coworker reaches up and grabs his shirt collar.)

Coworker: “[Son], I never thought I’d have to tell you this, but you are not allowed to date MY coworkers!”

Flirtation Comes With Part Of The Package

, , , , , | Right | June 4, 2017

(This took place a few years ago when I was working for a well known cheap clothes shop. I’m usually just a cashier but I have been asked to tidy up the men’s section. A middle aged woman approaches me; her late-teens son is hanging in the background.)

Customer: “What size boxers does my son need?” *calls him over*

Me: *a bit taken aback* “Oh, uhm, what size is he usually in boxers?”

(At this point I’m feeling so sorry for her son; he looks so embarrassed!)

Customer: “Well, he’s usually a medium as he has quite a big package!”

Me: *inside I’m cringing as I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!* “The medium boxers here should fit, then! Anything else you need help with?”

Customer: “Yes, are you single? My son is such a lovely young man, you know!”

Me: “I’m sure he is madam, but I’m taken. Sorry!”

(I quickly scurried away and begged to be put back on tills! That poor boy!)

How We Met, Part 2 Themed Giveaway Roundup

, , | Not Always Romantic | Romantic | September 10, 2013

How We Met, Part 2 Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. I Loved You Before I Met You (1,640 thumbs up)
  2. The Cake Was Not A Lie (1061 thumbs up)
  3. Loki They Met (858 thumbs up)
  4. Nice-Road Truckers (729 thumbs up)
  5. True Love Has No Hidden A-Genders (915 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!