Crossing The Cultural Divide… Kind Of

, , , , | Romantic | September 22, 2020

One of my best friends lives in Germany and is in university. She’s describing a relationship between a classmate of hers and a foreign student from the USA.

Friend: “He doesn’t speak German and she doesn’t speak English, but they’re both taking Spanish, so that’s how they communicate!”

Me: “Aw! That’s cute.”

Friend: “But I actually wasn’t sure about something. She likes him, and she thinks he likes her, too, because he’s always super nice to her! But I wanted to ask you what you thought, because I think the way he’s behaving might just be a Southern US thing?”

Me: “Only so much I can tell without meeting the guy, but shoot.”

Friend: “Well, he always holds the door for her, and he walks her to her dorm when it’s late, and…” *Describes a proper Southern Gentleman*

Me: “Ah, yeah. I think this is just a cultural disconnect. Your friend can go for it, but I think he’s just being polite.”

Friend: “I was afraid of that. I’ll let her know.”

The classmate did end up asking the guy out, and he, very politely, let her down. Turns out he was being nice to her because that’s how he was raised and that’s how he treats everybody. Thankfully, because of the forewarning, she wasn’t entirely heartbroken and bounced back quickly.

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The Wrong Kind Of Daddy Issues, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | August 10, 2020

My sister is working at the front desk at a hotel and the rule is that she can’t flirt with guests. However, there is a group of men staying at the hotel for a while working on a gas line. One is a little flirty with my sister and often stops to talk with her and tries to get her to go out for drinks with him. One day, he isn’t with the typical group of guys he’s always with.

Sister: “Hey, where’s your friend?”

Guest: “Oh, his wife went into labor so he left early.”

Related:
The Wrong Kind Of Daddy Issues

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In The Doghouse Before You Even Get Together

, , , , , , , , | Romantic | July 9, 2020

This happens when I am in high school. There is this guy flirting with me. He makes his intention clear, but honestly, I am just trying to get to know him at this point. 

One day, after school, we walk together on our way to our respective homes. 

Guy: “Hey, let’s go by there; I’ve got to show you something.”

Me: “Okay.”

It gets me closer to my place, so why not?

Guy: “See, this house over here—” 

He points at the house on the other side of the street.

Guy: “—they have f****** huge dogs!”

We cross the street, and I wait on the sidewalk as he goes near the wood fence — about six feet tall — where I can see that there are, indeed, larger breed dogs. 

Guy: “There are three of these beasts in there!”

He’s getting closer to the fence, trying to boast and show off how courageous he is. He is about to touch the fence but can’t find a way to stick his hand in. He’s frozen there acting all, “Whoa, scary!” He’s being dramatic, I guess.

I join him, stick my hand inside the fence, and… get licked. There’s lots of licking and tails wagging, and one even does this little “happy dance,” tapping its front paws up and down.

Me: “Hi, [Dog #1]! Hi, [Dog #2]! Hi, [Dog #3]!”

Guy: *Completely white and deflated* “Uh… you know them?”

Me: “Yes, this is my home. These are our family dogs. They are big but not evil, violent, or whatnot. I don’t recommend coming in uninvited, but you can stick your hand in and pet them; the worst you’ll get is licked, maybe some fur fluffing off and sticking to you.”

Guy: *Eyes bugging out* “Uh…”

Me: “Yeah, so, next time, maybe you should make sure to not come to a girl’s house and imply that her pets are some scary monsters.”

I was less than impressed with him. My giant forever puppies got extra cuddles that day. 

I won’t tell the exact breeds — all different anyway — because it does not matter; breeds are not a behavior. Be cautious with dogs you don’t know, but don’t tag them as good or bad from their size, color, breed, etc.


This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

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Time To Transition Out Of This Conversation

, , , , , | Romantic | July 6, 2020

It’s been ten years since this incident and I’m still amused and confused by this situation.

My friends have invited me to drag night to see their friend sing and dance in a competition for amateur drag queens. I’m not a fan of loud music or clubs so I suggest that I drive so they can have a few drinks, and I bring a book along so I can be supportive but also have a break if it gets too overwhelming.

I’m sitting against the wall reading my book when a man in his late twenties comes and sits next to me.

Man: “Hi there.”

Me: “Hi, what’s up?”

Man: “I just noticed you over here and thought I’d come and say hi.”

Me: “Oh, well, hi.”

Man: “How are you enjoying the show?”

Me: “It’s interesting. The costumes are pretty cool.”

Man: “So, if you don’t mind me asking, how long has it been?”

Me: “I’ve never been to one of these shows before.”

Man: “No, sorry, I mean… Y’know, how long has it beeeeeeen?”

Me: “I don’t understand.”

Man: “Since you started transitioning? You look great.”

Me: “Um… I was born this way?”

The man very quickly stood up and walked into the crowd.

I asked my friends later what was going on and they explained that he was trying to hit on me. My innocent, twenty-one-year-old brain had no idea.

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Looking At Girls Through Beer Goggles

, , , | Romantic | February 2, 2020

(When I am seventeen, I decide to try to break out of my shell and go out to a fancy-dress street party organized for Carnival in the harbour of my town. I step into the crowd and dance. Soon after doing so, I see a couple of girls looking at me with interest, and after some more dancing I decide to make a move.)

Me: “Hi there!”

Girl: “Hi, would you buy me a drink?”

(While I have heard about offering a drink to somebody else, I have never heard of the opposite, but I immediately assume it means she wants in my pants.)

Me: “Sure, let’s get in line at the shack. What would you like to drink?”

Girl: “Oh, anything’s fine.”

(Since I’m not big on drinking, and since the elderberry liquor I like isn’t popular, I’m a bit worried, but I keep my cool externally. Halfway through the line…)

Me: “Are you really sure that you’re fine with anything?”

Girl: “Of course I am!”

(And so we restart. After quite a bit of time, there are only four people in front of us.)

Me: “Anything in particular you want? They have a bit of everything.”

Girl: “Nah, your choice is all right.”

(Figuring I can’t hold up the line like that, I give up and decide to order a beer for her, as she slips out of the line and waits for me. Thanks to lax IDing, I buy a glass, pay a handsome amount of money for it, and then get back to her.)

Me: “Here we go, enjoy.”

(The girl looks at the glass full of beer as if it was full of urine. She frowns and makes it swish inside the glass before dumping it all in the water below the wharf.)

Girl: “I wanted a mojito.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “W-what? You said that ‘anything’ was fine!”

Girl: *whining* “But I wanted a mojito! Not beer, a mojito!”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell me that?! I asked you three times!”

Girl: “Why would I want beer? I can get that anywhere!”

(Resisting the urge to shove her off into the water, I stormed away and went home. To this day, I cannot understand why she couldn’t tell me what she wanted right away, instead of trying a weird mind game.)

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