Work Cuter, Not Harder

, , , , | Working | March 5, 2021

I used to have a coworker that was very pretty, slim, and tall. As we worked in a factory mainly employing men, she received a lot of attention.

While some would have struggled with the attention, she loved it. She would have pretty much strangers buying her food, opening doors, getting her coffee, taking her rubbish away, etc. To be fair to her, she never encouraged it or led the guys on, but she never discouraged it, either.

More than anything, it appeared a bit pathetic to me; men would fall over each other to try to impress her, but she clearly wasn’t interested in them.

A few months in, she admitted to me that she hated her job, but as she didn’t have to do any work, she could spend the day on Facebook.

This surprised me. Everyone in the office was stressed. We had massive deadlines and a huge amount of pressure. Many people had left the company because of stress. Some roles only had a nine-month expectancy. So, how was this possible?

I started to pay attention. She would get a task and then straight away approach one of the male workers and ask them for help. She actually gave a job to one guy and then went for a coffee with a friend.

I saw her get away with this for months until a new boss, a woman, started. Suddenly, she wasn’t able to get rid of these jobs and was expected to do them herself. Only then did she admit — in a flood of tears — that she didn’t know how; she had spent a year fluttering her eyelashes and never learnt to do her own job!

She spent six months on probation before it was understood that she didn’t have even a clue and she was fired.

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“Hello” Means So Much More Than It Used To

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2021

I’m female. There’s a male regular about my age who usually comes in once a week. He usually comes to me, and we chat and joke around. I’m off work and running errands one day when I see him. We make eye contact and he waves.

Me: “Hey, [Regular]!”

Regular: “What’s up, [My Name]? How are you?”

Me: “Oh, I’m good! You?”

Regular: “I’m doing great! So, what are you up to this weekend?”

We chat for a couple of minutes and then go our separate ways. A couple of days later, at work, my boss approaches and asks to speak to me.

Boss: “So, uh… this is a weird one. I received a complaint about you.”

Me: “What did I do?”

Boss: “Apparently, you were hitting on [Regular].”

Me: “Huh?”

Boss: “I received a complaint that you were being very forward with [Regular] a few days ago.”

Me: “What are you even talking about?”

Boss: “Did you see him a few days ago?”

Me:Hold on! I wasn’t at work a few days ago. I was at [Place] and ran into him. We talked for like two minutes, no flirting involved. Did this come from him?”

Boss: “No.”

Me: “Then where did this come from?”

Boss: *Pauses* “I was called by a female relative.”

Me: “His mom?”

Boss: “Um…”

Me: “I’d better not be in trouble for this.”

Boss: “Oh, not at all. I just thought you needed to know. She was pretty angry.”

Me: “That I walked up to her grown son on my own personal time and said hello?”

Boss: “Apparently.”

Heaven help any girl that he actually likes enough to date!

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Actions Have Consequences. Who Knew?

, , , , , | Legal | CREDIT: kmc2301 | November 23, 2020

I’ve been working bar security at the same bar for about three years. If you ever want to know what it’s like to be a bouncer, think daycare but at night, and instead of small children, it’s adults who revert to children when intoxicated… some of them even when not intoxicated.

This night is much like any other night. There’s a popular local band playing so we’ve got a decent crowd going. The team is keeping their eyes open for anyone passed out, being belligerent, drugs, the works. I’m standing by the door to the bar area of the building. One half of this place is a pool hall and the other a bar and entertainment area, and they’re separated by a wall with a door on either end. I stand by this door a lot because I can easily keep track of both rooms at the same time without needing to really walk all around the place.

There’s a gentleman sitting near the door where I am, and there’s a couple sitting at the bar across the way. The female is well-known for acting out when she’s drunk. From what we can see on the cameras inside, she walks on over to the gentlemen by the door and starts trying to flirt with him. This guy has come into the bar for years and never has he raised a hand to anyone for any reason. He’s a professionally-trained boxer, doesn’t really drink, and doesn’t generally close out the bars. He rejects her advances, and she becomes noticeable upset.

The woman runs over to her husband.

Woman: “That guy disrespected me! And he called me names!”

The gentleman ushers her man over.

Gentleman: *Kindly* “I’m sorry, but could you please make this woman leave me alone?”

Before the conversation really starts, though, the husband grabs this guy by the collar and starts driving him towards the wall.

Chaos ensues, as the couple didn’t realize that the gentleman came in with his twenty friends. The gentleman throws a couple of jabs at the husband. Then, the woman decides she wants to join in this brawl, so the gentleman takes a jab at her, too.

WELP.

The dude punches her so hard that he literally folds her bottom row of teeth back into her mouth.

This all happens in the span of about ten seconds before the security team jumps in and gets everyone separated. The husband and wife are taken outside, but we don’t call the cops right away, because that’s generally a last resort.

So now, we’re outside, this lady is bleeding from her mouth, and her husband is visibly angry. The lady keeps asking me to call the cops, but I keep telling her that’s a bad idea, considering her husband put his hands on the guy first, but she’s not having it. So, I call the police.

I can’t describe how difficult it is not to laugh in this lady’s face as she witnesses the cops put her husband in handcuffs and not the guy who punched her. She says something that I’ll never forget, and I wish I had it on recording.

Woman: “THIS IS WHY WE DON’T CALL THE F****** COPS!”

I very nonchalantly remind her that it was her idea to call the police in the first place.

I didn’t see them again until about a year later. The woman had to get her whole bottom row of front teeth pretty much fixed, and she still hasn’t changed in the slightest.

What a night.

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Maybe You And Your Friend Should Work Out A Signal

, , , , , | Romantic | October 7, 2020

A friend and I go out to a bar one night. We have some drinks and play some pool, and there are a few guys that we sort of try to chat with, but we mostly keep to ourselves.

Now, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I can be completely oblivious when it comes to realizing that guys are flirting with me; it’s caused me to miss out on a few things. But as we’re leaving, I’m complaining to her a bit; I got a call while we were out from my boss asking me to come in the next day — my day off — because she can’t be in. (There were issues aplenty at that job, but that’s a story for another time.)

Me: “Ugh. I can’t believe [Boss] called me on my Friday night and was so shocked that I didn’t pick up immediately and didn’t actually want to come in all day on my day off.”

Friend: “I still can’t believe you actually said yes.”

Me: “I don’t know what I was thinking. But I swear, if one more person calls me and complains that their furniture wasn’t what they wanted, I’m going to quit.”

A guy over in the smoking area speaks up.

Guy: “Hey, can I get your number?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, we were just talking about my job.”

My friend and I both get in the car, and as I’m pulling out of the parking lot, I realize she’s staring at me funny.

Me: “What?”

Friend: “…”

Me: *Lightbulb* “He was actually asking for my number, wasn’t he?”

Friend: “Yeah.”

Me: “Is it too late to go back and get it?”

Friend: “Pretty sure you missed your chance.”

By this point, we’re at a stoplight, so I bang my head on the steering wheel.

Me: “I’m an idiot. See, this is why I can’t get dates. Or a boyfriend.”

Friend: “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything…”

We both managed to laugh although I was feeling embarrassed. Even if he’d just been making conversation, if I’d been paying attention, I still might have ended up with his number. Ten years later, I still miss when guys are trying to flirt with me 95% of the time.

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Crossing The Cultural Divide… Kind Of

, , , , | Romantic | September 22, 2020

One of my best friends lives in Germany and is in university. She’s describing a relationship between a classmate of hers and a foreign student from the USA.

Friend: “He doesn’t speak German and she doesn’t speak English, but they’re both taking Spanish, so that’s how they communicate!”

Me: “Aw! That’s cute.”

Friend: “But I actually wasn’t sure about something. She likes him, and she thinks he likes her, too, because he’s always super nice to her! But I wanted to ask you what you thought, because I think the way he’s behaving might just be a Southern US thing?”

Me: “Only so much I can tell without meeting the guy, but shoot.”

Friend: “Well, he always holds the door for her, and he walks her to her dorm when it’s late, and…” *Describes a proper Southern Gentleman*

Me: “Ah, yeah. I think this is just a cultural disconnect. Your friend can go for it, but I think he’s just being polite.”

Friend: “I was afraid of that. I’ll let her know.”

The classmate did end up asking the guy out, and he, very politely, let her down. Turns out he was being nice to her because that’s how he was raised and that’s how he treats everybody. Thankfully, because of the forewarning, she wasn’t entirely heartbroken and bounced back quickly.

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