The Nights Are About To Get Quieter… And Colder

Many years ago, I lived on the bottom floor of a shared house, and a married couple lived on the top floor. I was very shy at the time and just wanted to stay out of other people’s business, but about a week after I moved in, every weeknight the upstairs was resounding with the sound of furious lovemaking. I could hear the bed thumping against the wall and the lustful yells were enough to wake the dead. It was disturbing my sleep. 

After about a month of this, I waited for a weekend, knocked on the upstairs door, and timidly suggested that they be a little bit quieter while making love at night. 

Cue a glare that would freeze Hell from the husband, directed at his wife. 

It turns out he worked nights.