The Wrong Kind Of Daddy Issues

(The ranch where I take riding lessons is having a big cook-out for the students and their families. I know some of the other students, but am unfamiliar with most of them. A bunch of us are hanging out in the picnic area, waiting for more burgers to be ready, and getting to know each other. An older man comes over with a bag of chips and a soda, and hands them to one of the girls, who’s probably about 20 years old.)

Girl: “Thank you, Daddy.”

Random Guy: “Man, I wish I had a girl like that. You’re lucky, dude. Better put a ring on it.”

Girl: *turns to stare Random Guy dead in the eye* “That’s my actual f****** father.”

(Everyone else lost it, yelling and laughing. Random Guy turned bright red and left. We didn’t see him again.)