(My coworker and I are dusting chocolate bars when this exchange happens.)

Coworker: “Man…Willy Wonka must have, like, so much money!”

Me: “Yeah, but I think that’s Nestle.”

Coworker: “No, like, look at all the candy his company makes! He must just be loaded!”

Me: *playing along* “Uh, yep. Pretty loaded…”

Coworker: “I wonder how he comes up with all this stuff? He must be a mad genius or something!”

(I can’t tell if she’s joking, so I go over and grab a box of Runts, look at the back, and confirm that it’s Nestle.)

Me: “Yeah, definitely Nestle. It says right here on the back.”

Coworker: *ignores me* “I just can’t believe how many products he’s come up with. He seriously must have just so much money!”

Me: “[Coworker], you know that Willy Wonka is not a real person right? He’s a character created by Roald Dahl for a book.”

Coworker: “What?! Are you kidding me?” *laughs hysterically* “This whole time I thought he was a real person!”

(I work in the kids’ section of a bookstore that also sells toys and games. I notice that a child has caused the entire display to collapse. I find the mother after making sure the child didn’t hurt himself.)

Me: “Hi, are you the mother?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “We ask that you look after your children while in [Store Name]. You need to be with the child and not in another section of the store if they cannot be trusted alone.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Customer: “I don’t want to look after my child.”

Me: *confused* “Well I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s not my job to raise your child for you.”

Customer: “But I want you to!”

(I work in an airline call center where we make reservations and make changes to existing reservations such as seat/meal requests.)

Customer: “I’d like a window seat for my return trip”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Let me check availability for you.”

(I book the seat for her.)

Me: “Okay, I was able to book you in 31K, which is a window seat on your return flight from Frankfurt to Seattle.”

Customer: “What?! I’m on a PLANE? I thought I was taking a bus?!”

Me: “Yes, I assure you it is a plane, as it is difficult to cross the Atlantic on a bus.”

Customer: “Thanks so much. I am so excited about going on a plane!”

Did you find this story using our Airline Staff roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story.

(My manager is adding in the nutritional information for macaroni and cheese into the scale printer.)

Manager: “Wow, I didn’t know that there was so much salt in this mac and cheese! In a medium-sized container, there is 50% of your daily sodium.”

Coworker: “What? HALF that container is salt?!”

Manager: “No. I mean a medium-sized container of mac and cheese has 50% of your daily salt intake.”

Coworker: “So… half of that mac and cheese is salt?”

Manager: “No, I mean that there is a lot of salt in this mac and cheese. If one was to eat a medium-sized container, they would have 50% of their salt.”

Coworker: “Oh, I get it. Half of that is salt!”

(My boyfriend and I have both worked in the service industry for years, so we know it can be rough. We had just bought a couch from a furniture company and it arrived without legs. We have been waiting for hours on hold and speaking with various employees.)

Me: “Hi, my couch just got delivered but it doesn’t have any legs.”

Employee: “Okay…?”

Me: “So, can you have someone come and drop them off?”

Employee: “Hmm… well, you know you can buy legs for a sofa from pretty much any hardware store, right?”

Me: “Yes, but I already bought them from you.”

Employee: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay. Well, if you bought a car from a dealership and they gave it to you but it didn’t have wheels, would you ask them where the wheels you already paid for are, or go buy a new set of tires from someone else?”

Employee: “I still don’t really get it.”

Me: “…is there someone else I can talk to?”