I’m a barista at a well-known coffee chain. There is a city ordinance to have a mask on when coming within six feet of any individual outside of your household, and businesses are allowed to require that people wear masks when entering the store. My shop happens to be the only one in our district allowing people inside the store rather than putting their coffee outside for them to pick up, so the whole mask thing has been a hassle. 

I’ve been screamed at for telling people they can’t come inside, but this interaction takes the cake. 

A regular comes in, who is an a**hole anyway, mind you, and I stop him before he takes more steps into the store.

Me: *Politely* “Sir, you are required to wear a mask if we are going to be serving you.” 

Customer: “What do you mean, I have to wear a mask? How dare you require me to wear a mask?!” 

Me: “Sir, it’s an ordinance from the city, as well as corporate policy. I can’t do anything about it besides follow both.”

Customer: “Well, what if I refuse to wear one?”

Me: “Then I have to refuse you service.” 

Customer: “F*** this, man! It’s all a hoax, anyway. You know that, right? Just a scare tactic for the election.” 

Me: “Sir, if you don’t calm down, I will be forced to ask you to leave.”

He turned around and left the store — out the wrong door — and went to our trash can that was positioned out front. He then reached inside and pulled out a disposable facemask that had clearly been used before and put it on his face before marching back into the store.

He’s come in nearly every day since with that same mask, and it’s taken every ounce of willpower not to gag every time I see him.

This story is part of our Anti-Masker roundup.

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A very long time ago — in the 1970s — I was taking a general science course called “Physical Science”. This was a required course, so the classroom was very large and packed full of students, most of whom were only present because it was required.

The instructors of two adjacent Physical Science classrooms frequently opened up the temporary wall between the classes and held joint class sessions, especially when reviewing material for examinations. The instructors had very different teaching styles; [Popular Teacher] was popular with students and always cheerful, while [Strict Teacher] was very formal and was widely reported to have never smiled. 

Even in my early teens, I was very interested in science. I frequently read science and engineering journals at the school library — which irritated the head librarian as those journals were intended for the teaching staff. As a result, I was usually bored to tears in the Physical Science class. The material presented was intended for a general audience of people unfamiliar — and often uninterested — in science, specifically to give students a basic understanding of what science was. I was enrolled in [Strict Teacher]’s class and often clashed with him when he put out material from the required curriculum which was outdated and/or inaccurate. 

“There are three states of matter: solid, liquid, and gas,” [Strict Teacher] explained.

“Excuse me, Mr. [Strict Teacher]?” I interjected. “I read an article in Scientific American which says plasma is a fourth state of matter.”

“I read the same article,” the teacher explained, “but I have to teach what is currently in the course textbooks.”

Since I was usually right, we would have a brief discussion in class about the new information which hadn’t made it into the course materials, and my grade never suffered for challenging his authority.

[Popular Teacher], on the other hand, did not enjoy being questioned by students. He was popular with most of his students because he encouraged those with no interest in science to tease and mock those who wanted to learn. Oddly, [Strict Teacher]’s students tended to have higher test scores in all manner of scientific subjects than the students in [Popular Teacher]’s classes.

During one of the joint class sessions, while discussing scientific terminology, [Popular Teacher] mentioned that the suffix “-oid” was used to describe something similar to the root term. A couple of students asked about hemorrhoids, which [Popular Teacher] said didn’t count. Another student asked about asteroids, at which point [Popular Teacher] began to mock the students questioning him, calling them “nasty kids.”

[Strict Teacher] went rigid with anger, because [Popular Teacher] was belittling students who were at least interested in the material, encouraging their uninterested classmates to bully them. Because he was unwilling to confront [Popular Teacher] in front of the students and thereby diminish [Popular Teacher]’s authority in the classroom, [Strict Teacher] held his tongue, but he looked annoyed.

I raised my hand, and [Strict Teacher] called on me.

“Excuse me, Mr. [Popular Teacher],” I said. “’Hemorrhoid’ is a medical term adding the ‘-oid’ suffix to the Greek word for ‘vein’. ‘Hemorrhoid’ basically means, ‘little vein.’ So that was a valid question.”

“All right, smart guy,” said [Popular Teacher]. “What about ‘asteroid’, then?”

“Also valid,” I confirmed. “’Aster’ is the Greek word for ‘star’, so ‘asteroid’ means ‘little star’.”

[Popular Teacher], slightly taken aback, just said, “Okay, whatever.”

As [Popular Teacher] tried to get his lesson back on track, I noticed [Strict Teacher] turn quickly away from the class… to hide his smile.

This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

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Read the July 2020 Roundup!

I work at an Italian restaurant where we serve Italian sodas. One afternoon, I get a larger family group, and among them are a couple of kids no older than ten. We have a variety of flavors and one happens to be honeydew.

Kid: “What’s honeydew?”

Me: “It’s a melon.”

I explain how we actually make the soda. His honest and serious response is:

Kid: “Oh. I thought you took, like, honey and added Mountain Dew or something.”

I couldn’t help but just smile and walk away. That interaction made my entire day.

We’ve stopped at a gas station for drinks and snacks. My husband is purchasing an energy drink while I’ve got water and gummy bears.

Me: “That stuff is going to kill you.”

Husband: “Energy drinks are good for you.”

Me: “They’re half poison.”

Husband: “Because gummy bears are healthy?”

Me: “These are completely natural. Made from 100% pure gummy bear.”

Clerk: “We catch them fresh in the wild every week.”

Husband: “I really don’t know what to say to that.”

I work in a pet-grooming salon where we’ve been fully booked for appointments for two weeks at a time through the summer months. Since some customers aren’t used to this, they’ll show up for appointments that they’ve misunderstood the date of, or in some cases to intentionally try to bully us into taking their dog in despite not having time to groom them.

A customer walks in at 3:50 pm on a Saturday.

Customer: “I’m a little late for my 3:30 appointment.”

I check the appointment book.

Me: “I don’t see your appointment here, but since you’re more than fifteen minutes after when you say it was, we wouldn’t be able to take your dog in anyway. We’ll have to reschedule.”

Customer: “What? You don’t see me at all? I called to reschedule my appointment from Thursday and I was told to come in on Saturday!”

I do remember speaking with this client on the phone and scheduling both her original and rescheduled appointments. I look through the book for three weeks out but don’t see her. Then, it occurs to me that her appointment was last week.

Me: “I’m very sorry. I do remember seeing you in the book, but it isn’t for this week. If you want, I can squeeze you in before my other appointments on Tuesday; otherwise, you’ll have to reschedule for two weeks out.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! It’s very difficult for me to get here! I have an appointment!”

Me: “Like I said, ma’am, even if your 3:30 appointment was written here, we couldn’t take you in because you were twenty minutes late and we have a grace period of only fifteen minutes or else we get very behind.”

The customer huffs and leaves, returning with an older woman.

Older Woman: “It’s very difficult for us to get here; you need to take in our dog! It’s not our fault you didn’t write down our appointment!”

Me: “Like I explained before, even if your appointment were here, it’s too late after for us to take you in anyway. The best I can do is offer you Tuesday morning.”

Customer: “Fine. Why didn’t anyone call me to tell me I didn’t have an appointment? You should have called me!”

The customers leave. I turn to my coworker.

Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”