I’m the same person from Please Keep Off Of The Grass, Shine Your Shoes, Wipe Your… Face. This story involves my eight-year-old niece on a Zoom call with her class.

Her teacher tells the class they’re going to do a scavenger hunt, that they have to leave their tablets where they are, and that they have thirty seconds to get the items she calls out. 

I’m standing just out of sight and after a few items the teacher calls out, “Scissors!”

Um… you give them thirty seconds and then tell them to get scissors after you see them running to get the items? 

What kind of teacher tells her eight-year-old students to run with scissors?

I am working in the clothing department, setting up new prices for a sale that will be happening in the morning, when a lady stops by to ask me a question.

Customer: “Hi, do you happen to know where Dairy Queen is?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure. I think there is one north of town.”

As I’m talking, her phone rings and she answers it. I roll my eyes and go back to my work as she wanders off. She comes back about ten minutes later.

Customer: “Do you know where Dairy Queen is?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I do not.”

The customer gets angry, raising her voice to be heard by other people.

Customer: “But you work here!”

Me: “Yes, I work at [Store], not Dairy Queen.”

She left in a huff.

I’m working in the aquatics department at a popular local pet store when a gentleman carrying a small container with a Betta fish comes up to me.

Customer: “Hi. This is my wife’s fish and she thinks there’s something wrong with it. She’s worried it may be sick.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Let me take a look.” 

I observe the fish which is alive but clearly inflicted with fin rot and is floating near the bottom of the container.

Me: “Well, it looks like he has some fin rot going on.”

Customer: “That doesn’t sound good. Is there any medicine I can buy for him?”

Me: “Yes, there is. It’s called [Brand]. It will really help with healing his fins and getting him healthy again. Let me get some for you.” 

I’m about to walk away when the man’s wife calls on his cell phone.

Customer: “Wait! I think you should speak with my wife, since this is her fish.”

Me: “Sure.”

I get on the phone.

Me: “Hello?”

Customer’s Wife: “Hello, my name is [Wife] and I want you to look at my fish and tell me what you think is wrong with him.”

Me: “Well, it looks like his fins are damaged by fin rot and—”

Customer’s Wife: “I don’t understand how he could have gotten that. I change his water all the time and I clean his gravel. I just don’t understand. I’ve had him for a year and he’s like a baby to me. Is there medicine for him?”

Me: “Yes, it’s called [Brand] and—”

Customer’s Wife: *Angrily* “No! No, I do not want to use that. I’m on your website right now and I’m reading reviews about it and it doesn’t seem like a good product. What about [Other Brand]? Would that work?”

Me: “[Other Brand] is for different types of fish. I wouldn’t recommend it. I think you should use [Brand] because it is specifically for the treatment of Betta fish.”

Customer’s Wife: “Okay, fine, whatever you think. You’re the expert!” *Hangs up*

Customer: “What did she say?”

Me: “Well, she is definitely concerned about her fish and she wants me to make sure it’s getting the right medicine. I suggested [Brand] and I think that’s our best option.”

Customer: “Okay, do you think you can treat it for me so I don’t mess it up?” 

Me: “Sure, it’s an easy procedure and I can show you step by step how to do everything.”

Customer: “Wonderful, that would be great.”

Then, his wife calls his cell phone again and asks to speak with me. I get on the phone.

Me: “Hello?”

Customer’s Wife: “So, did you figure out which medicine to give him?”

Me: “Yes, I think [Brand] will be the best medicine for your Betta. Your husband wants me to go ahead and treat him. I will show him the directions for the Betta’s treatment.”

Customer’s Wife: “Well, how much medicine do you have to give him? I’m looking online and I’m trying to figure out the dosage.”

Me: “The bottle for the medicine says twelve drops per pint. How big is the Betta’s container?”

Customer’s Wife: *Angrily* Oh, I don’t know! A gallon? A half-gallon? I don’t know!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t treat him if I don’t know how much water is in his container.”

Customer’s Wife: *Getting frustrated* “Well, you have to treat him! You don’t understand. He is like a baby to me. I’ve lost a lot of loved ones these past couple months and I can not deal with losing my fish. You have to do something!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry for your losses and I understand your concern, but I am really limited with what I can do to help your fish since I don’t know how much water is in his container.”

Customer’s Wife: *Getting more frustrated* “Okay, well let’s say he is in a half-gallon container. How many drops would he need then?”

Me: “Umm…” *Trying to calculate*

Customer’s Wife: *Getting impatient* “How about this? How about you get someone else on the phone who is better at math, because I need to know so my fish survives. I don’t mean to insult you, honey, but clearly, you can’t figure it out. In fact, give me your fax number so I can send your manager the calculations.”

I do not know how to respond to the insult so I just politely give her the fax number.

Customer’s Wife: “Thank you. Hopefully, one of you over there can figure it out. This fish is important to me. I bought him at your other store across town, but I won’t hold them accountable for my fish getting sick. However, I am holding you responsible for my fish if he dies from improper medicine dosage.” *Hangs up*

I am in total shock and the man notices.

Customer: “Everything all right?”

Me: “To be honest, sir, I am a little afraid to treat your fish. Your wife was just telling me she is making me responsible if her fish dies. I can’t be held responsible for anything like that. We can try to figure out the dosage, but I can’t treat him for you.”

The customer puts his hand on my shoulder.

Customer: “I understand. I’ll buy the medicine and I’ll figure it out.”

Me: “Thanks, sir. I’m sorry I couldn’t help more. I wish you the best of luck.”

Customer: “It’s all right. You did fine. Have a good night.”

Me: “You, too.”

The man pays for the medicine at the register and comes back to the aquatics department. He is on his cell phone with his wife. And she asks to speak with me. I get on the phone. Again.

Customer’s Wife: “Okay, now I’m getting angry. I did not tell you I was holding you responsible. All I asked for was for you to calculate how many drops of medicine my Betta needed. I need to speak with your manager! Give me her office number immediately!” 

Although I was very confused, I did not argue with her, and I gave her my manager’s office number. She hung up and her husband walked out of the store. My managers never received a call from the man’s wife.

I work at a fairly busy fast food restaurant, and I have been trying to quickly process orders all day. A customer comes up and starts to order.

Customer: “I would like a [Combo #1], please, large size.”

Me: “Okay, sir, that was a large [Combo #1], so your total will be $7.67.”

The customer pulls out a handful of change, plunks it on the counter, and looks at me expectantly. Just looking at it, I know it’s not enough for his meal.

Me: *Unsure* “Would you like me to count that, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

I count out the amount of change, and the total amount is $0.83.

Me: “Sir, you are $6.84 short.”

The customer nods emphatically.

Me: “I can’t give you the meal for $0.83.”

The customer frowns and pushes the money towards me.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Unfortunately, nothing on the menu can be bought for $0.83. Do you maybe have more change or anything that you didn’t place on the counter?”

The customer’s eyes widen and he starts searching through his pockets.

Me: “Sir, would it be possible for me to help the other customers in line while you look?” 

He nods, so I move onto the next customer, hoping to whittle down the long line. After finishing with the next customer, I check back in with him.

Customer: “Okay, I want a [Combo #3], large size, please.”

I look at the pile of change, which has only grown by a couple of pennies, and sigh internally. This combo is even more than the first. I want to help this man, who seems slightly confused but very hungry, but such a large discrepancy would get me in trouble with my manager.

Me: “Sir, unfortunately, that is not enough to cover the amount.”

The next customer in line has been watching the entire exchange, and comes up to the counter.

Next Customer: “Here, I want to help this gentleman out, but I don’t have a lot to spare.”

He hands me a $5 bill. The customer sees the $5 now on his stack of change and gets excited, looking up at me hopefully.

Me: “Well, sir, I can’t give you a large combo, but how about a regular-sized [Combo #1]?”

The customer nods vigorously and I punch in the order, including a small family/friends discount, so that he will still get some of his change back. He happily takes his cup and goes to sit in the dining room. I turn to the next customer who helped him.

Me: “Thank you so much. I was really torn about what to do! I didn’t want to have to make him leave without food, but I can’t give away free food!”

Next Customer: “It wasn’t a problem; I enjoy helping people out when I can!”

I processed her order — also adding the family/friends discount — and she smiled at me and headed off with a wink. Faith in the general public restored!

This story is included in our Feel-Good roundup for June 2020!

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During my senior year of high school, my school managed to raise money to visit an amusement park. After being pursued by dinosaurs through a particular ride, I escaped alive and decided to go get lunch.

It was a hot day — 80F, 27C — and everyone was packed inside. The balcony was largely unoccupied, as it was outside in the sun. Luckily, I managed to find a table with some shade. I sat down to eat with my tray, and a short time later, a strange older man sat down across the picnic-style table across from me.

“Um, excuse me,” I asked him. “Could you please sit somewhere else?”

He didn’t answer; he just stared at me with a creepy smile and said something in a language I didn’t understand.

“Sir, I don’t know you,” I said firmly, “and I don’t feel comfortable with sharing my table with you.”

Instead of answering, he picked up a single french fry with ketchup on it, stuck it halfway into his mouth, and started sucking the ketchup off in a disgustingly suggestive manner, never breaking eye contact.

I no longer felt obligated to be nice, so I grabbed my tray, called him a filthy creep, and stormed inside, trying to find a security officer. He followed me inside, came up behind me, put his hands on my shoulders, and said something else in his language.

I slapped his hands off of me, but before I could spew a stream of profanity at him, a woman rushed over and started berating the man in their language before dragging him away.

As he was walking away, he said, in perfect English, “But American women are supposed to be easy!” which got him a burst of rapid-fire scolding in his language.

I gave a full-body shudder and finally found a security officer to complain to. Unfortunately, by then, the man was gone and I couldn’t point him out. They promised to check the security video, look for him, and remove him from the park, before wishing me a better rest of the day.

Maybe I should have stayed and pushed harder or pressed charges or something, but in the end, I just ended up finishing my lunch and enjoying the rest of my trip. I never did see him again.

I can only wonder why he thought he could pick up… that kind of woman… in a family-friendly park.