(Our school is taking a trip to New York City, and the teacher in charge has hired a local tour guide to come onto our bus to tell some facts about landmarks. While talking about the Brooklyn Bridge, the guide brings up the architect, John Roebling.)

Guide: “Now, does anyone by chance happen to know where John Roebling is from?”

Literally Everyone On The Bus: “Saxonburg, Pennsylvania!”

Guide: “No, that’s not right. Hmm… I can’t remember, either. Oh, well. Moving on.”

Teacher: “No, they are right and you are wrong. He is from Saxonburg, and that is a fact. Our school is in Saxonburg; our park is named ‘Roebling Park’ after him, and they even have a model of the Brooklyn Bridge in it. If there is one thing we know, it’s where he’s from.”

CONTENT WARNING: Child Assault

(I have been working at the county detention center. My youngest sister is constantly getting bullied — name-calling, mainly — on the school bus in the afternoon by the same group of kids, and despite my parents making several complaints to the school, it continues. Finally, one day, one of the boys goes too far, and actually tries to grope her. These kids are all eight to ten years old. I give her some advice from our detention officer certification course instructor.)

Me: “Listen carefully, [Sister]. If that boy tries to put his hands on you again, hit him.”

Sister: “But I’ll get in trouble.”

Me: “I don’t care; you hit him hard. Punch him! Scratch him! Kick him! If you get in trouble, I will leave work and yell at your principal for not stopping this sooner.”

(The remainder of the afternoon is spent teaching her a few strikes and nerve points our instructor taught us. The next day when I get off work, I see her grinning ear to ear.)

Me: “Was your ride home okay?”

Sister: “Yup! He tried to pull my shirt up, but I hit him in the throat! He started crying!”

(She didn’t get in trouble for defending herself.)

(My friend is a very attractive woman who likes to dress nicely, but when this happens she has been going through a rough patch. She’s not wearing nice clothes, nor wearing any jewellery or makeup. She also has red, swollen eyes from crying. I’m taking her to have dinner at her favourite restaurant to cheer her up, when a group of Chinese girls gets on the same bus we’re riding and stands right in front of where we’re sitting. I have been studying Chinese for four years. This takes place in Chinese.)

Chinese Girl #1: “Oh, God… Look at that girl in the black shirt. She looks awful.”

Chinese Girl #2: *laughs* “Yeah… Why did she go out like this? She’s so ugly.”

Chinese Girl #1: “Look at her friend, though. He looks nice.”

Chinese Girl #3: *to me* “Hey, handsome. Don’t pay attention to that ugly girl. Come with us.”

(They all begin to laugh, thinking no one has understood anything they’ve said.)

Me: *in Chinese* “No, thanks. Being with her, what would I need someone like any of you for?”

(The three girls stared at me before one of them asked if I understood all that they said. I nodded, and they all turned a bright red colour I never even knew people could get. They moved to the back of the bus and tried to avoid eye contact with me.)

(I’m the customer in this one. Our local bus station has multiple routes that leave from the same stand. They often go in similar directions at first, but their ultimate destinations can be very different. The route number and destination are always clearly labelled on the front and side of the bus.)

Customer: “Excuse me, is this the 13 or the 14 bus?”

Driver: “Umm, it should say on the side; it’s the 14.”

Customer: “So, is it going to [Destination of the 13] or [Destination of the 14]?”

Driver: “…It’s going to [Destination of the 14].”

Customer: “Oh…”

(The customer gets off the bus. I’m next to get on.)

Me: *pretty loudly* “Remember when people were able to read?”

Driver: “Heh, yep.”

Next Customer: “Excuse me, is this the 13 or the 14 bus?”

(I overhear this from the back of my private school bus. The company runs a public service, also. We pass a broken-down bus from the same company, and they hail us down.)

Customer: “Excuse me. We need to get on this bus. I need to be at my job in five minutes.”

(The nearest bus stop is over 15 minutes away.)

Bus Driver: “Sorry, madam, but this is a school bus to [School]. You can’t be on here for safety regulations.”

Customer: *getting irate and red faced* “Don’t make a fool of me, young man. You are going to let me on this bus; it clearly says, ‘[Bus Company],’ on the side of the bus.”

Bus Driver: *trying to stay polite* “I know, madam, but I cannot let you on to this bus; you need to wait for the next public bus to get on.”

Customer: *barges past driver with smug face* “Well, you have to take me now; otherwise, all these children will be late for school!”

Bus Driver: “Madam, please get off the bus; I need to take the bus elsewhere.”

Customer: “No, and if I’m any later for my job and get fired, I’ll come here and steal yours, just like you steal jobs from the good English people of my country.”

(The bus driver is of foreign descent.)

Bus Driver: *reluctantly* “Fine, you can stay on the bus.”

(The woman stayed on until her stop and left, but not before flipping off the bus driver.)