This happened in the 1990s when tokens were the main way to pay for public transit.

A friend of mine got on a bus around Thanksgiving. After he got on, a weird-looking guy carrying a huge frozen turkey got on the bus. He dropped a token in the slot ostentatiously, announcing, “This one’s for me,” and then did it again, saying, “This one’s for the turkey.” Then he sat down and put the turkey in the seat next to him.

As the bus went along its route, it started to fill up. At a certain point, there were no empty seats left. A lady went up to the guy and asked him to move his turkey so she could sit down. At that point, the guy said dramatically, “The turkey pays, the turkey stays.” The bus driver confirmed that the man had paid for the turkey’s seat, so there was nothing the lady could do about it.

Frankly, I think he was brilliant for buying a seat for his turkey — carrying a frozen, 20-pound object on your lap would not be fun!

(I overhear two students talking.)

Student #1: “During my school trip in Italy–”

Student #2: *interrupting* “In Italy? Did you study Latin in middle school or high school?”

Student #1: “Neither.”

Student #2: “But how you can have the right to participate at a school trip in Italy without studying Latin?!”

Student #1: “Because I studied Italian.”

(I watch this happen between two girls and the bus driver. The bus stops, passengers disembark. Literally two seconds after the bus starts moving, [Girl #1] presses the bell. After about 15 seconds, this happens.)

Girl #1: “Why isn’t he stopping?”

Girl #2: “I don’t know. You pressed the bell.”

Girl #1: *to the driver* “Are you stopping?”

Driver: “Yes, when I get to my stop.”

Girl #2: “But we need to get off here.”

(She starts pressing the bell repeatedly.)

Girl #2: “Why won’t he stop?!”

Girl #1: “He has to stop. He’s a bus!”

(Frantically ringing the bell.)

Me: “He’ll stop at the other end of the road, which is his stop.”

(Both girls stare at me like I have three heads.)

Girl #1: “But we need to get off here.”

Me: “This is a bus, not a taxi. He stops at predesignated stops, not in the middle of the street.”

(Turns to [Girl #2], who is still pressing the bell.)

Me: “And doing that won’t make him stop any sooner.”

(They glared at me and at the driver, then started whispering to each other. The bus stopped and they got off, giving me and the driver dirty looks. When I got to my stop, I thanked the driver, and we shared a laugh over the two stupid girls who still didn’t understand buses in their late teens.)

(My mom and I are on a bus together on a mutual day off. I went into the city to play Pokémon Go, while she needed to run errands and asked me to keep her company first. The errands run way longer than expected, and she apologizes and lets me pick where we go for what’s left of the day. I’m playing while talking to her, and she’s even looking at my game and commenting about it the moment a middle-aged man moves from his seat to sit across from us.)

Man: *to me* “Now, ma’am, I have to say something. You see this person sitting next to you? They are your best friend.”

Me: *giving him a dead-eyed stare* “That’s my mom.”

Man: “They are your best friend. And you’re on your phone, talking to your Internet friends. Now, you see, you can have your Internet friends…or you can have your best friend. You can’t have both of them.”

(I raise a perfect Spock Eyebrow and keep staring at him. He is looking at me for reaction, and looks like he might even keep going until he sees the look my mom, who doesn’t suffer lightly idiots, mansplainers, or weird men approaching her daughter, is giving to him. The guy silently decides to move back to his original seat with the air of someone who has imparted great wisdom.)

Me: “Soooo, I guess we can’t be Facebook friends anymore?”

Mom: *rolls her eyes and shakes her head* “Go catch another coconut tree-thing.”

(I am a sophomore in high school, and my sister has just left for college on the other side of the country. I miss her and am having a horrible day, having just figured out that I failed a big test in school. It is freezing cold outside, and I have depression and anxiety, so I am about to start crying. I have left my wallet at home, so I have to use the limited cash I had to pay for the bus fare. I get on the bus and put in my $1.10. The bus driver then rudely tells me that the fare has gone up recently, and that I need another $0.35. I only have a few pennies on me. I have put in my last dollar, and it will be getting dark soon, so I can’t wait for another bus. I am standing there, completely unsure what to do. Both my parents are working, so I can’t call either of them for a ride home.)

Woman: *puts the needed $0.35 cents into the machine*

Me: *shocked that someone is actually nice to the sobbing teenager*

Woman: *hands me a $1* “You look like you need a drink.”

Me: *completely missing the joke* “I’m 16…”

(That act of kindness helped me remember to start carrying $5 with me at all times, and my sister has recently come home for the summer from college. I wish I could thank the lady that helped me when I was at such a low point in my life.)