CONTENT WARNING: Gross

I work for a major home appliance and furniture store. We deliver set-up things like washing machines, dishwashers, and stoves.

One time, I’m delivering a dishwasher to a single-floor ranch house. We open the front door and discover that there are no internal walls. At all. In the entire house.

We can see from one corner of the house all the way to the other. It is furnished with beds, toilets, a TV, a couch, a stove, etc. But there are no walls.

Non-plussed but unwilling to show it, we let the owner lead us to the location where the dishwasher is to be installed. While we install the dishwasher, he rambles at us, telling us about what he does for a living, his family relations, and just about everything except why he doesn’t have walls in his house.

Still rambling, he walks over to the exposed toilet, drops his pants, and starts taking a dump. The worst part? We can clearly watch him not wash his hands afterward.

Back in the day, I worked in a call center processing cell phone insurance claims. Most issues were covered, except for water damage. We were required to get a description of what happened, though, even if the phone was lost. The management was pretty relaxed about it, but you did need to provide a description that fell within the allowed coverage reasons. I could give a brief overview of what their policy covered before I took their description, and most people were smart enough to understand that if their phone had water damage, it was better to just say it was at the bottom of a lake, i.e., lost. “It just stopped working” wasn’t covered, but “I dropped it and it doesn’t work anymore” was covered. You get the idea.

One guy thought it was ridiculous that he needed to tell us what happened to the phone. I reiterated the policy summary, hoping he’d take the hint and make up a story, and we could both move on with our day. He did… in the least effective way possible.

Me: “Could you please describe what happened that caused the phone to stop working? Please keep in mind that I cannot make any changes to your statement once you provide it.”

Caller: “I dropped it. My toddler hit it with an axe. It got left in the rain. I stopped quickly and it flew off the dashboard and out the window of the car.” *Insert several more unlikely scenarios here.*

Me: “To clarify, all of these things happened to the same phone on the same day, just before it stopped working, and this is the source of the damage? It wasn’t just one thing?”

Caller: “Yes. All of those things.”

I typed furiously because I was required to document all of the incidents. I read the summary back to him, asking if this was complete and correct, and reminded him again that once he agreed, I couldn’t change his statement.

Caller: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Me: “Based on your description, sir, I’m sorry, but I’m not able to approve your cell phone insurance claim today. As I mentioned earlier, any water damage is excluded from your coverage, and as you described water damage as part of the incident, I’m not able to approve the claim. I’ve also consulted with my supervisor, who has advised that we aren’t able to distinguish the cause of the damage based on your description of events.”

Caller: “I want to change my statement of what happened.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that isn’t possible. As I stated, no changes are possible once I’ve read the summary back to you and you agreed that it was correct.”

Caller: “Fine. I’ll call back later and start over.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but as you’ll recall, we gathered details about your phone, including the serial number, before you described the damage. We have a record that you attempted to make a claim, and no further claims on this phone will be possible.”

Caller: “You’re the rudest customer service representative I’ve ever encountered! Get me your supervisor!”

Me: “Certainly, sir.”

I work in a famous chain fast food restaurant, and today, I am in the dish pit. A car rolls up to the speaker.

I say my little greeting, and then I wait… and wait. No “Just a minute.” Nothing.

Finally, I go back to doing dishes. Then, I hear:

Customer: “Hello? Hello? I’d like to order sometime today!”

Now, granted, I gave them a good forty-five seconds to answer when I greeted them. However, I just put on my smile.

Me: “Yes, how can I help you today?”

First of all, she keeps confusing us with two other food chains and requesting items from their menus. Second of all, she keeps changing her order. For example, we have an egg muffin and a sausage muffin with egg. She asks for an egg muffin and wants to add sausage to it.

Being the nice little food worker I am, I ring up the sausage muffin with egg to save her some money, because it’s the same ingredients.

She flips her lid.

Customer: “I said I wanted an egg muffin, not a sausage muffin! I just want to add sausage to it!”

No amount of explaining would convince her that this would be more cost-effective. Finally, I just did what she asked, not caring if she spent more money than she needed to. The total came to around twenty-five dollars, a big order for our breakfast time.

She pulled up with about seven people in her car. They took several long minutes trying to find change in their pockets because they all wanted to chip in. But some didn’t want to break bills. Can Person A swap this tenner for a five? Person B has exact change, but Person C has their order’s value in coins and wants to lighten their purse. A line behind her piled up behind her and she had ruined our drive-thru time, but they kept waffling back and forth about one thing or another.

She FINALLY paid, so I told her to pull up to the next window and to have a nice day. What did she do? She passed the second window and drove off, after paying for her food!

Now, I had a line out into the street because of this woman and had to scramble to get people through in time, hopefully without getting screamed at because half of them were late to get to work.

I finally got the line down when, about an hour later, the woman came up to the counter. She was demanding her food because we hadn’t given it to her! I have no idea how seven people didn’t notice this OR bring it up. And of course, by this time, it had been thrown out. We made all that food she ordered for nothing. We even kept it aside for her in case she came back, but after fifteen minutes, we had no choice but to toss it.

My coworkers told her this, and I swear I could hear her all the way in the back over the spray nozzle! She kept saying that she knew the president of our chain and that she was going to get us shut down. We offered to remake the food for her, but she wasn’t having that. She didn’t want a refund. She didn’t want her food remade. She wanted to rant about how she “could be s***ting it out by now if you had given it to me”!

A manager had to sprint the length of the store to shut her down. He read her the riot act, including blatantly telling her to her face that it was her own stupid fault for driving past the second window and not following directions. As she stood flabbergasted by the shiny spine before her, he told her to either pick a refund or pick new food. No more nonsense from her; he was ending her shenanigans as of now!

She finally left with her money, and we have a description of her for the cashiers to refuse her service.

I’m a cashier at my local privately-owned grocery store. I’m out front running the cart sanitization station, where we clean carts before they’re given to shoppers.

Being in a small town, you get to know most of your regular shoppers, both the good and the bad. But there is this one guy who comes in every other Sunday. This guy has many defining features about him, specifically the hard hat, construction vest, and noise-cancelling headphones, and he has this pink dog chew toy strapped to the front of his vest. I’ve seen his unfavourable behaviour both inside the store in the aisles and checkout, and outside the store at the cart sanitization area.

On this particular Sunday, he pulls up to the store on his bicycle (recognized instantly because of the pink pool noodle tied in a knot on the back). He hops off and struts toward the doors. I wipe a cart and stick it in front of the door. He has no mask on (a usual occurrence), but today he also DOES NOT HAVE PANTS ON.

I (or anyone else on sanitization) usually don’t stop him for his lack of mask and immediately call a manager on our mobile store phone, because we know it will do absolutely nothing if we try and intervene ourselves. But today, I have to stop him before I even call the manager.

Me: “Sir, hey! Hey, sir! Stop!”

I wave my arm in front of him.

Guy: “WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”

I gesture for him to take off his headphones, but he doesn’t.

Guy: “WHAT DO YOU WANT?! I’M TRYING TO SHOP! I DONT WEAR MASKS!”

Me: *Almost yelling* “I know, sir, but I can’t let you in if you’re not wearing pants!”

The guy then swats his hand at me, almost hitting my face shield, grabs his cart, and goes into the store. I grab the phone and dial the extension for any manager’s phone. When the manager on shift picks up, he barely has a chance to say, “Hello?” before I interrupt him.

Me: “Hey, [Manager], that guy with the headphones— Yeah, that one— No, it’s not just the mask; he doesn’t have pants on today.”

Manager: “What? Is he just naked?”

Me: “No, no, he has boxer briefs on — Superman ones, actually — but very clearly not pants or even shorts.”

The phone hung up on me, and not five minutes later, a cop car pulled up to the entrance. The cop and his partner nodded their heads at me and walked into the store. Another few minutes passed, and I was able to witness the guy being escorted out the doors and to his bike. I think he was given a ticket, but I’m not too sure.

Apparently, my manager had confronted the guy and asked if he had anything to put on as we would not serve him if he wasn’t appropriately clothed. He refused to dress up (even though he had a pair of cargo shorts with his bike) so my manager repeated to him a couple of times that he had to dress up or leave the store, and he continued to refuse.

At that point, my manager had called the non-emergency number for our town’s police and consulted with them about what he should do if anything, and the police themselves chose to come and deal with the issue personally.

I worked as a manager in a busy office and came in one morning to find a message asking me to contact someone urgently. I quickly rang to find out the problem, but in my haste, I dialled the wrong number. I apologised to the lady who answered, and then I dialled the correct number and dealt with the issue.

After a busy hour or so, the phone rang, and I answered.

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] at [Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “How did you get this number?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: *Shouting* “I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU GOT THIS NUMBER!”

Me: “I don’t know what you mean. You called us.”

Caller: “YES, BUT YOU CALLED US!”

Me: “One moment, please. I’ll see if anyone was trying to contact you. What’s the name, please?”

Caller: “I’M NOT TELLING YOU MY NAME!”

Me: “Um, I don’t see how I can help with your problem if I don’t know who you are or what it is. This is [Company]. Are you sure you’re calling the right place?”

Caller: “YES! YOUR NUMBER WAS THE LAST ONE THAT RANG!”

Me: “Okay, that helps. If you could give me some idea of what the issue might be?”

Caller: “YOU CALLED US!”

Me: “And do you know what business you might have with us?”

Caller: “I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT YOU RANG TWENTY MINUTES AGO! I WAS OUT AND MY WIFE ANSWERED!”

The penny drops with me.

Me: “Was that the wrong number I dialled? I’m sorry, but I did apologise for the mistake.”

Caller: “YES! BUT YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “Can’t do what?”

Caller: “YOU CAN’T CALL US!”

Me: “I’m sorry for the intrusion, but it was a mistake. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Caller: “NO! I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU GOT OUR NUMBER?!”

Me: “I don’t know your number. I dialled it by accident. It was a mistake. I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else to say.”

Caller: “THAT’S NOT THE POINT! NO ONE CAN CALL OUR NUMBER!”

Me: “But you said I—”

Caller: “YES! AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW?!”

Me: “I just misdialled—”

Caller: “NO! NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really don’t understand. It was just a mistake. As I don’t think I can help you, would you like me to give you the details of how to make a complaint?”

Caller: “NO! I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU RANG OUR NUMBER!”

Me: “It was an accident—”

Caller: “BUT YOU CAN’T DO THAT! NOBODY CAN RING US UNLESS WE GIVE THEM OUR NUMBER! WE’RE EX-DIRECTORY!”

Me: *Takes a very deep breath* “Ah, I see. Please let me explain. It doesn’t work that way…”

You don’t need the rest of my attempted explanation. Suffice it to say, I was never sure if I got the point across or not.