This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46

| Eugene, OR, USA | Right | November 27, 2015

(I work as a teller, and one of my jobs is to field phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m trying to make an online purchase with my debit card and it’s not working! I need you to fix this.”

Me: “Well, sir, it sounds like your card may be blocked. I can transfer—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No! This is a brand new card; I just got it today from the bank. Now they told me it would work, and it doesn’t!”

Me: “That’s odd, let me…”

Customer: “And another thing! How do you get away with issuing already expired cards?”

Me: “Well, sir, our temporary cards expire after a set time, but they are always good when issued.”

Customer: “No! This one says February 18th, right on there! Now today is the 24th, which means this is expired!”

Me: *face-palm* “Sir… all cards list the expiration date as month and year. That is February of 2018 listed on the card, and I assure you if you use that date you will be able to make your purchase.”

Customer: “That’s… that’s not what I was told! I was told this would expire this year!”

Me: “Yes, sir. The temporary card will. However it must have the same expiration date listed on it as the permanent card with the same number that is being mailed to you. I promise, February of 2018 will work.”

Customer: “Well… I suppose I’ll try it. But that’s darn foolish!” *click*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

Cash Crashed

| Port Jervis, NY, USA | Friendly | November 20, 2015

(It’s Sunday and my bank has an ATM that’s just inside the building, but not inside the actual bank. To get in, you insert your debit card and open the door, kind of like a hotel. I was going to make a deposit, as I’m primarily paid in cash. There’s another lady in there using the ATM.)

Lady: “What are you doing here?”

Me: “I just need to use the ATM; I’ll wait until you’re done.”

Lady: “But, what are you DOING here? The bank’s closed!”

Me: “I can see that ma’am. I just want to use the ATM.”

Lady: “Why are you here? You can’t be here. The bank is closed!”

Me: “Ma’am, I got in the same way you did, with my card. I’m just going to use the ATM after you’re finished.”

(The lady just looks at me a moment, looks back at the ATM, and then back at me.)

Lady: “But why are you here?”

Common Sense Takes A Holiday

| FL, USA | Right | November 20, 2015

Me: “Good afternoon, [Bank]; how may I direct your call?”

Elderly Customer: “So today is not a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we are open.”

Elderly Customer: “Well, I tried to call my doctor’s office and they aren’t answering. Are you sure it’s not a holiday?”

Me:“Yes, ma’am, I am positive that it is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “I was wondering why you would be answering the phone if it was a holiday.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you today is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “Is Monday a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, there are no bank holidays at all this month.”

Elderly Customer: “…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Elderly Customer: “Why won’t my doctor answer the phone?”

Wasn’t Banking On The Wrong Store

| Burlington, MA, USA | Right | November 19, 2015

(Everyone at my branch says the name of our bank and the street we’re on when we answer the phone. Not everyone pays attention.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank] on [Street]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, where are you at?”

Me: “[Address]?”

Customer: “No, what’s the landmark?”

Me: “We’re in the [Supermarket] plaza.”

(The customer hangs up on me, only to call back half an hour later.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling the [Street] branch of [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah I’m at [Plaza]. Do I have to go into another store to get to you or something?”

Coworker: “No. We’re right between [Store A] and [Store B].”

(The customer hangs up on her and calls back two minutes later.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank] on [Street]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Where the h*** are you?! I’m standing in front of [Two Stores Down] and I. Do. Not. See. You!”

Me: “We’re right between [Store A] and [Store B]. Look straight down.”

Customer: *seriously pissed off* “NO! The only thing between [stores A and B] IS [BANK]! WHERE ARE YOU?”

Me: “This is [Bank].”

Customer: “What. No you’re not. I called [Cell Phone Store].”

Me: “Um, no. This is definitely [Bank].”

Customer: “Oh, F*** YOU!” *click*

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Married To The Job

| Denver, CO, USA | Working | November 7, 2015

(I am a receptionist at a bank.)

Me: *answering phone* “Good morning! This is Banker’s Life!”

(Next call.)

Friend: “Good morning! This is Banker’s Life!”

(Next call.)

Friend: “Good morning! This is the banker’s wife! Um… oh, dear!”

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