Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

No Civility, No Social Graces, No Service

, , , , , | Right | February 2, 2011

(I am required to ask to see a customer’s credit card and ID if they make a credit purchase over $25.)

Me: “Can I see your card and ID, please, sir?”

Customer: “If my father were here, he’d call you a b****.”

Me: “If your father were here, I’d ask him to leave.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “I don’t tolerate that kind of language. Please leave.”

Customer: *glares at me awhile longer, but eventually leaves the store*


This story is part of our Swearing Customers roundup!

Read the next Swearing Customers roundup story!

Read the Swearing Customers roundup!


This story is part of our Perfect Comebacks roundup!

Read the next Perfect Comeback story!

Read the Perfect Comeback roundup!

Batty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

, , , | Right | February 2, 2011

(I’m a customer at a grocery store. We’re in a snow storm and people have gone mad in preparation, buying most of the bread, eggs, and milk.)

Customer: *inches from the cashier’s face* “MILK AND BREAD! MILK AND BREAD!”

Cashier: *stunned*

Customer: “I bet all the customers were like that today, huh? All those crazy people buying up all that stuff! But not me, I’m not crazy!” *walks away*

Cashier: *nervously laughs while looking at me wide-eyed*


Did you find this story using our World Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get to the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water

, , , , , | Right | February 2, 2011

(At the college bookstore where I work, students can sell their books back for cash at the end of the semester.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I won’t be able to buy your textbook back because of the water damage.”

(I flip through the book’s crinkled, sticky pages.)

Student: “Oh, it’s okay. It’s not water damage, it’s humidity. I went on vacation to Missouri and it was humid.”

Me: “I still can’t take your book back because I cannot sell this to another student in this condition.”

Student: “But it’s not water damage! It’s humidity! The humidity made the pages stick together!”

Me: “Ma’am, what is humidity?”

Student: “Water, duh!”

(There’s a pause while the wheels begin to turn in her head.)

Student: “Oh… can you help me find my other books, then?”

Modern Scam-ily

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2011

(An elderly woman enters and approaches the counter carrying an original Xbox under her arm.)

Customer: “My grandson gave me this for Christmas and, well, I’m just not interested in video games, so I was wondering if I could trade it in for money.”

Me: “Well, we can only give you store credit, not cash.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. I could just give him the store credit as a late Christmas gift.”

Me: “All right. Well, before I take it, I have to test it to make sure it works.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Hmm?”

Customer: “Why do you have to test it? I’m sure it works!”

Me: “Company policy, ma’am. It’ll just be a second; I just have to plug it in right here and see if it turns on and runs a game.”

Customer: “I’m saying you don’t need to check it! Why would my grandson give me a broken game?!”

Me: “Well, then, you can’t trade it in, ma’am.”

Customer: “Fine, go ahead! I’m sure it works!”

(I proceed to plug the system in, and it turns on, but the disc tray opens on its own and refuses to close unless I force it closed while the power is off.)

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t take this system. The disc tray doesn’t stay closed and–”

(Suddenly, the woman ripped the cords out of the test TV and outlet, picked up the Xbox, and stormed out. While the door was still open, she smacked a young man standing outside the door in the back of the head and screamed, “Stupid kid, making me look like a fool just so you could get rid of your d*** broken system!”)


This story is included in our Videogame Store roundup.

Click here to go to the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

Full Time Care(less)

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2011

(The following is what I overhear after I let a customer use the store phone.)

Customer: “Come on, pick up the phone! You’re in a d*** wheelchair. I know you’re there! I left you upstairs for a reason!”


This story is included in our Wheelchairs Versus Ableism roundup!

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!