(I work in a drive-thru at a fast food store.)

Customer: “I would like a bacon egg burger.”

Me: “Was that a bacon and egg muffin?”

Customer: “Yes, but add tomato and ketchup.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $4.95. Please drive forward.”

(The customer pays, gets his muffin, and then drives away. He comes back through the drive-thru about five minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I ordered a f****** bacon egg burger, and you gave me this s***.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You ordered a bacon egg muffin with tomato and ketchup. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I just wanted a burger.”

Me: “So, a hamburger with bacon, egg, and tomato?”

Customer: “Yes, just give me my f****** burger.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get that out to you.”

(He gets his burger and drives away, but he’s soon back in my drive-thru.)

Customer: “How f****** hard is it to make me a f****** burger?”

(I’m tired of his ranting.)

Me: “So, exactly what do you want?”

Customer: “A f****** bacon egg burger.”

Me: “Yes, but what exactly on the burger and what bun?”

Customer: “A normal bun with bacon, egg, burger, tomato, and ketchup.”

Me: “Right, I’ll get that to you.”

(I then go make a quarter-pound burger with no cheese added, bacon, egg, and tomato, with ketchup, worth double his original payment.)

Me: “There you are; just so you know, next time you order just say that you want a quarter po—”

Customer: “I don’t give a f*** what I say; you should know what I want!” *drives away*

(I work in a very popular grocery store bakery department, which is located right next to the deli. I watch this situation unfold with one of my deli coworkers, who’s a good friend of mine. My coworker only has 15 minutes left for his shift and is currently finishing up frying chicken tenders and placing them on racks to cool off and be packaged later. A customer known for being unreasonable and rude approaches the deli. I’m already feeling bad for my coworker.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Hello?!”

(My coworker turns around immediately after placing some hot chicken on the rack.)

Coworker: “Hello, how can I help—”

Customer: *interrupting in a condescending tone* “Yeah, I need five fresh chicken tenders.”

Coworker: “Absolutely. I have fresh ones still very hot right here. Would you like to wait for them to cool off—”

Customer: “No, I’m in a hurry and need them now; just make sure they are fresh.”

(My coworker is looking annoyed, but since he’s off soon, he goes along with it. He shoots me an annoyed grin from across the deli, and I smile back, wishing I had some popcorn. He begins picking up the still-steaming chicken and placing them in the container carefully, when the customer stops him.)

Customer: “Wait! What are you doing?! I said I wanted them fresh!”

(My coworker jumps and almost drops the container as she screams at him for the whole store to hear.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, these are fresh; they’re still very hot as I said.”

Customer: “No, you’re lying to me! I just saw you make those! They’re not fresh at all!”

(My coworker is starting to look angry now.)

Coworker: “Exactly, ma’am. I just pulled them from the fryer, because I was frying them, since this is fried chicken. So, you witnessed me completing the last step in preparing this chicken, making these the freshest chicken tenders you’re going to get.”

Customer: “No, that is unacceptable. I want to see you make those tenders from scratch. You’re probably lying to me and those tenders have been sitting there for hours. I asked for fresh, and that isn’t fresh!”

(My coworker stares at her in the most blank, unreadable stare as she unloads on him. I feel like I should hide behind my counter because I get a feeling he’s going to blow up on her. Instead, he lets a few seconds go by, and then catches me off guard by displaying the most enthusiastic smile.)

Coworker: “Absolutely, ma’am. Let me go in the back and grab a live chicken to kill for you.”

Customer: “Mhm, you do that.”

(He ends up just taking off his apron and clocking out, leaving the customer standing there, waiting. I go on my break so she won’t go after me next. The manager doesn’t even reprimand him, since the customer is stupid enough to explain exactly how it happened with her complaint.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this is a family store; we’re not going to slaughter a f****** chicken in front of our customers, even if we did have live animals. I’m disturbed you believed him.”

(I manage a business that caters to people with body modifications such as gauged ears, plugs, piercings, etc. A lot of my clientele is polite, but occasionally I get a customer who gives us modified types a bad rap. Since I’m female, sometimes the male customers don’t take me seriously and think they can bully me.)

Customer: “How much are these plugs in my size?”

Me: “They’re $20 a pair.”

Customer: “And if I get two pairs?”

Me: “That would be $40.”

Customer: *stares at me*

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You’re supposed to make me a deal if I want more things.”

Me: *flatly* “Am I?”

Customer: “Yeah, b****, it’s called good customer service. Don’t you f****** know anything?”

(Since this sort of encounter happens more than I would like to admit, I’m already over trying to help this guy.)

Me: “All right. You can either talk to me with respect, or you can leave, dude. I don’t have time for your crap.”

Customer: *looks at me stunned, silent*

Me: “Well?”

Customer: “I want a manager! Who the f*** do you think you are?!”

Me: “The f****** manager.”

(The customer looked pissed, then left.)

(I am the first customer in line at the checkout. When I swipe my card, I ask for cash back. The cashier’s drawer opens, and he realizes he doesn’t have enough cash. He calls for an assistant manager. He, in turn, calls for the manager. The manager has to go to the back of the store. By now, the line is backing up.)

Me: “You can wait on other customers, and I can wait out of the way.”

Cashier: “Great.”

Customer #2: “Hey, thanks!”

(Cashier rings up [Customer #2] and [Customer #3] completely, since they each have one item. He then starts on [Customer #4].)

Manager: “[Cashier], here’s your cash. Don’t you have a customer waiting?”

Cashier: *to [Customer #4]* “Excuse me, I just need to count this real fast.”

(The cashier counts out the total cash he was given, takes some cash out of the pile and puts it in his drawer, then calls to me to give me my cash.)

Customer #4: “Hey! She can wait. Finish my order.”

Cashier: “Sir, I’m sorry, but she was ahead of you. She’s been waiting for my manager.”

Customer #4: “I don’t care. You started my order; you finish my order. She can f****** wait!”

Customer #5: “HEY! Shut your face and let him do his job. She was nice enough to let the line keep moving while she waited; you can wait ten seconds for her to get her cash.”

([Customer #4] turns towards [Customer #5], screaming something obscene, and stops suddenly. Evidently seeing a guy in a state trooper uniform made him think twice about screaming and swearing. The cashier hands me my cash and receipt.)

Me: “Okay, great. Thanks.”

Customer #5: “…and thank you for letting the line move. Sorry about this guy.”

([Customer #4] was now staring at the ground, totally silent.)

(I am at work in a lift waiting to go up. The doors open on a floor, and two women and one man enter. The man is a member of senior management, and although I don’t work directly for him, he commands a lot of respect due to his authority. After one of the women leaves, he glances at me.)

Manager: “You look perkier than you did the other day.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Manager: “You looked miserable the last time I saw you.”

Me: “Oh, I was probably having a down day.”

(The other woman smiles knowingly at me.)

Manager: “Did you get a new bra?”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “It’s your boobs. They look a lot firmer. Did you get a new bra?”

Me: “I don’t think that’s any of your business!”

Manager: “Don’t worry. I’m gay. If I were straight, though, I’d motorboat you.”

(The woman and I looked aghast, and the woman quickly pushed the button for the next floor. We jumped out and headed straight to HR. The HR manager — who is a woman — laughed at us, asking if we knew he was gay, and refused to file a complaint because it was impossible for him to be inappropriate with women because of his sexuality. We instead told our respective managers, and the issue was quickly escalated to the board of directors. It then came out that a lot of women had had similar experiences with him, and that the HR manager had been protecting him because he was her brother-in-law. The man simply lost his job, while the HR manager was offered a lower position, on the grounds that she also receive training on the matter of harassment in the workplace. She refused and is now not working with us, either.)