Got Themselves In Your Bad Books

, , , , , , | Learning | January 8, 2018

(I work in my university’s bookshop. A student comes in and asks for a book for his course.)

Me: “Sorry, we’ve sold out. We get a new stock in every Monday, so if you come in first thing you should be able to get one.”

Student: “I can see one on the shelf behind the counter. Give me that one.”

Me: “Actually, that one is mine. I bought it last Monday when they first came in.”

Student: “You don’t need that. I do. Give it to me.”

Me: “What makes you think I don’t need it?”

Student: “Because you’re just a shop assistant. You don’t even have the qualifications needed to apply for [University], and [Course] is much too hard for you.”

Me: “Hmm, I see you weren’t at the pre-lecture meet-up.”

Student: “What? Yes, I was. How would you know?”

Me: “Because if you had been there, you would know that I’m the seminar tutor for [Course].”

(He looked at me like I’m nuts and left. Our first seminar was the day after, and I made an extra special effort to stress that the bookshop gets new stock every MONDAY. [Student] kept his head down for the entire seminar. I figure he got his books elsewhere from then on, because I’ve yet to see him in the shop since.)

How To Get Fired Before You’re Hired

, , , , , | Working | January 8, 2018

(I’m part of the hiring team at my job. I do technical support for a very large company and I’m the team lead. The hiring manager will bring interviewees to sit with me for 15 minutes so that the person can see what we actually do and so that I can assess the person’s suitability for our environment. I am not told who the person is ahead of time, just given a calendar invite to block out my time for the meeting.)

Hiring Manager: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Interviewee].”

(It is a middle-aged guy that I immediately recognize.)

Me: “Hi, [Interviewee], or should I call you [His Username from a dating app]?”

(At this point, he recognizes me, too, and looks horrified.)

Me: “Remember me? I’m [My Username from the dating app], the old hag you sent an unsolicited d**k-pic to.”

Interviewee: *stammering* “That wasn’t me. I’ve never done that!”

Me: *to hiring manager* “Is his cell phone number [number]?”

(I looked at him and smiled, then told him that I’d paid for a reverse lookup on his cell phone number and had all of his personal information. The hiring manager checked the documents in her hand and nodded. I pulled out my phone and showed the manager the messages he sent me, including the abusive language he sent after I told him off for being a jerk. The manager looked grim and immediately ended the interview. Needless to say, he didn’t get hired.)

Getting Gifts Is A Lottery

, , , , | Friendly | January 6, 2018

(Members of my church help buy and wrap holiday gifts for children whose families use a nearby food bank. Some of the gifts we’re wrapping were donated by another church. At the wrap activity, presents have been sorted by age and gender onto different labeled tables. I notice on the “Girls, age three and under” table, a package of fake lottery tickets, which is a bad, bad idea for many reasons, starting with not being a toy. Personally, I wouldn’t even give these to an adult, because some people object to gambling and someone can easily mistake them for real lottery tickets and be upset when they find out they didn’t really win a jackpot.)

Me: *showing tickets to a friend at same table* “This really shouldn’t be a gift. It’s inappropriate.”

Friend: *reads package* “What’s wrong with it? Oh, it’s for ages four and up. The ‘Girls, four to five’ table is there.” *points and then moves fake tickets on the other table, when I don’t do so*

(I wonders what’s going on with [Friend], as this is not like her. I shrug mentally and go to [Organizer #1].)

Me: “Hey, someone donated a gag gift, a pack of fake lottery tickets. I think we should remove it. It’s not a gift for a little kid; they won’t understand. Plus, for families without much money, it’s not really appropriate.”

Organizer #1: “It’s fine; it can stay.”

(I decide this is worth bringing up to Pastor and go find her.)

Me: “Hey, Pastor. Someone donated fake lottery tickets to the toy collection. They’re with the ‘Girls, four to five’ gifts. Is this really okay?”

Pastor: *outraged* “WHAT? No, no, no! [Organizer #2]! Someone gave gag lottery tickets. We’re finding them; they go in the trash!”

(I am glad I caught this and got someone to pay attention. But who thinks donating lottery tickets (fake or real) to a toy drive is a good and kind idea? At least FOUR people, by my count; the donor, the person who sorted the donations, [Friend], and [Organizer #1].)

You’re Too Late To Save Yourself

, , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2018

(I’ve noticed that since summer ended, one of my employees has been routinely late, but clocks in almost exactly 20 minutes after his shift starts. Most of the time, however, I see him before his shift, early. Too many tardy notices and we have to let someone go; its corporate policy and out of my control. I like to give people a chance, so I call him into the office to see if I can help him.)

Me: “So, there’s the trend I’m noticing on your clock-in times. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

Employee: “Well, in the mornings, I put my kids on the school bus, because I don’t like them standing alone in [Sketchy Part of Town]. Then, I take the bus that stops a block over to work. But sometimes the school bus gets there late, I miss my bus, and the next one isn’t for 30 minutes, so I’m late those days.”

Me: “Okay! Well, I wish you’d brought this to my attention sooner. Here’s what we are going to do. I’m moving your entire shift back a half hour. That way, if you catch the later bus, you’ll be on time, and you don’t have to stress.”

Employee: “Seriously? That will help so much. Thank you!”

(Two weeks go by, and I notice the employee is up for a written warning for another three tardies, having clocked in 20 minutes after his new, later start time. I pull him aside.)

Me: “What’s going on here? I moved your shift so that we could fix the issue with you being late, but you’re late more often now!”

Employee: “I’m sorry! It’s just… I don’t want to stand at the bus stop everyday for a half hour. It’s a really bad part of town. So, I’ve been going home to do a few things, and I get distracted, I miss the bus.”

Me: “You’re going to have to figure out how to fix that.”

Employee: “Okay, can we push the shift back another hour? A half hour isn’t much extra time, but I can be back if you give me another half hour.”

Me: “I actually need the 11:00 to 7:00 shift covered, so I’ll allow it, but I need you to understand: this was your last warning. If you are late at all in the next three months, I have no choice but to let you go.”

Employee: “Okay! Thank you!”

(A few days later, the mans supervisor pulls me aside.)

Supervisor: “Just so you know, [Employee] called you a b****.”

Me: “What?”

Supervisor: “He says he took the 10:00 to 6:00 shift specifically to be able to pick up his kids from their after-school program by 7:00. Now, you changed his shift, and he can’t get them in time.”

Me: “Okay, let me tell you what really happened.”

(The situation resolved itself when [Employee] showed up a half hour late two days later. I let his supervisor handle his termination papers, because I was still furious with him.)

Hungry For Some Justice

, , , , , , , | Related | January 5, 2018

(I have an older in-law who is a big time user; she tries to con everyone she can. Her big thing right now is trying to con everyone into taking her out for a steak dinner. Not a quick fast food meal; she wants a big, expensive meal with appetizers and the works. She will pull the, “Oh, I have never been to a nice restaurant,” and puppy-dog eyes routine, whining and begging. It never works with me. We have just moved into a new home with a two-month-old baby. The power has not been turned on yet so I have family who lend me a cooler and fill it with sandwich meat and leftovers from when we had dinner at their house the night before. I am cleaning and the elderly in-law is visiting with another in-law who is outside helping my husband build a deck. She speaks to me in her fake Southern accent.)

In-Law: “Oh, dear, my dinner bell is going off.”

(I am not stupid, and I am not playing that game. I tell her I had some sandwich meat and I could make her something.)

In-Law: “Oh, I don’t like sandwiches, dear.”

Me: “Okay, well, I have some leftovers from my mother’s house you are welcome to have.”

In-Law: “Oh, I don’t do leftovers, dear.”

Me: “Well, then I guess you’re not hungry… DEAR.”

(She had the look of deer in headlights on her face. She made an insulted face, got up, and walked out of the house. She did not return until over ten years later. Several other in-laws told me if they knew that that was all it took to get rid of her for a decade they would have done the same thing.)

Page 41/130First...3940414243...Last
« Previous
Next »