I work at a deli/bakery attached to a restaurant. We hand-make all of our bakery items on-site every day. It’s all very fresh and high-quality. As a result, it’s a bit expensive. Most people come to the counter after eating in the restaurant, but there is the option to come straight to the counter.

A man comes in. It’s immediately obvious he’s homeless. He’s also disabled and I’m guessing he has Tourette’s based on the loud noises he keeps making. No one else wants to serve him. I come around the counter to take his order.

He wants a pecan pie and water. I order his water and write out a ticket for a pecan pie.

I hand him the ticket.

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “It’s $16.95.”

It’s a full-sized pecan pie like anyone would serve a whole family.

Customer: *Suddenly angry* “No, no give me something I can buy for five dollars.”

Again, we’re high-quality and a bit pricey. There are a few things in my case for under five, and as I start to think through what I could offer him, he shoves angrily back, running into other guests.

Customer: *Very aggressively runs into another woman* “Move! Out of my way!”

He reaches the glass door and rams his chair into it to force it open. He hits so hard that I worry the glass is going to break.

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! YOU F****** SATAN WORSHIPPER!”

I feel bad for him and most homeless people. I’ve been homeless. I was willing to do what I could, but this was insane. I wish I could have helped him.

I am a twenty-five-year-old woman on oxygen. I go into the bathroom at the beach and see that the handicapped stall is available. I can fit my tank in a normal stall, but it’s more comfortable with the extra space, so I take it.

No sooner do I sit down than I see a boy of two or three try to crawl under the door. He is pulled back and a woman scolds him. I exit the stall to see a woman and two children under five.

Woman: “You took the handicapped stall?”

I gesture to my oxygen tank

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “You shouldn’t use it.”

Me: “Uhh… why?”

Woman: “I need that space.”

She gestures to her children.

Me: “Oh. You’re disabled?”

Woman: “I have children!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. That must be so difficult.”

The woman stared at me for a moment before dragging her children into the stall. I understand using the stall for families. I don’t understand how she saw me with my tank and thought I wasn’t allowed to use it.

I am a taxi driver picking up my first fare of the day. I pick up a lady in her forties going to the local tafe — think community college for those Americans. She seems a little off but polite enough.

Halfway through the job:

Lady: “Actually, can we stop at [Bottleshop]?”

Me: “Sure, I can stop there, but it’s the other way from [Tafe].”

Lady: “Yeah, that’s fine. I really need a bottle of [Cheap Wine].”

I stop. She gets out and staggers inside, while I contemplate this lady already drunk at 10:00 am and buying more alcohol to drink at [Tafe]. She returns after a few minutes. She opens the bottle, takes a big gulp of it, and then gets back in the taxi.

Lady: “It’s okay, I know not to drink in the cab. Now to [Tafe].”

We get almost to the tafe.

Lady: “You know what? I don’t think I should go.”

Me: “Oh, okay. It’s up to you.”

Lady: “Yeah, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m drunk.”

Me: “Fair enough. So, where to now?”

Lady: “[Pickup address], please.”

I drive her home. All in all, it cost her $60 for a $13 bottle of wine. And she leaves me with this:

Lady: “Yeah, I think it’s a good idea to stay home. Wouldn’t want the students getting the wrong idea now.”

She staggered inside and I was a little dumbfounded.

My mother-in-law is her own “boss” at one of those triangular-shaped companies. She has tried for years to get my husband and me to enroll. Every time we say no, she comes back with a new reason why we should change our minds.

I go out to get the mail one day and see a package on our porch. It is from [Company] in my name. I think about calling my mother-in-law to find out what is happening, but my husband suggests we call [Company] directly.

Customer Service: “Hi, thanks for calling [Company]. Can I get your name for today’s conversation?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name].”

Customer Service: “Hello, [My Name]! I see you are a new member. Welcome! How can I help you?”

Me: “Um, yeah, actually… I never enrolled.”

Customer Service: “Oh, well, that’s odd. Let’s take a look here. Can you provide your address on file?”

Me: “[Address].”

Customer Service: “Okay, it looks like you enrolled on [date] under [Mother-In-Law].”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, we didn’t. I have actually said no several times.”

Customer Service: “Oh. Well… I’m not sure how this happened, then.”

Me: “I’m guessing [Mother-In-Law] enrolled me. I’d like to cancel.”

Customer Service: “Oh, are you sure? We have lots of great offers coming up for the holidays.”

Me: “I’m sure. Thank you.”

Customer Service: “Okay, well, we’re sorry to see you go. Let me get you connected with the cancellation team.”

While I’m on hold, my husband’s phone rings. It’s his mother.

Husband: “Hello?”

Mother-In-Law: “Why did I just get an email saying you’re cancelling your account?”

Husband: “Why did you sign us up without our consent?”

Mother-In-Law: “You need it!”

Me: “No.”

My phone picks up.

Cancellation: “Hi there, you’ve reached the cancellation department. If you’re sure you want to cancel, I can help you with that.”

Mother-In-Law: “No! Do not cancel! It’s a mistake!”

Cancellation: “Uh… I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You do want to cancel, or you don’t?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mother-In-Law: “No!”

Me: *To my husband* “Hang up.”

He hangs up without saying goodbye.

Cancellation: “Are we… okay?”

Me: “Yes, it’s fine. My mother-in-law signed us up without our consent.”

Cancellation: “Oh! So… Let me see how to do this. I’m guessing all the security questions are about her, not you.”

Husband: “I can guess at them.”

Cancellation: “Oh, okay, sure. Let’s try that.”

The entire time we are talking to cancellations, his mother is texting that we cannot cancel, it’s a mistake, etc. My husband gets all the security questions right without hesitation.

Cancellation: “Okay, I can finalize your cancellation here. I’m so sorry this happened.”

Husband: “Thank you for working with us.”

Cancellation: “You’re all set. Have a great day, guys.”

For the next week, we are hounded with calls and messages from [Mother-In-Law], alternating between begging us to change our minds and berating us for stealing food from her mouth and being selfish. Then, one quiet afternoon, [Mother-In-Law] barges into our house.

Mother-In-Law: “I hope you’re happy, [My Name]!”

Me: “I was.”

Mother-In-Law: “[Company] cancelled my business because of you!”

Husband: *Gently* “You need to go.”

Mother-In-Law: “No, no, this is her fault. I am going to sue you for emotional damage and financial impact!”

Me: *Shrugs* “Okay.”

She clearly expected a different reaction.

Mother-In-Law: “And…and you will pay!”

Me: “Since you’ve threatened legal action, any further contact can go through our lawyers.”

Mother-In-Law: “But—”

Husband: “Mom, just go.”

He reached out to usher her out the door, not touching her. She backed out the door, stumbled at the step, but recovered without falling. I closed and locked the door before she could do anything else. She did try to sue us, but when we countered with her identity theft, she backed down. We are currently in no contact and quite happy about it.

I oversee several stores in one company, often traveling from one location to another. Two employees at [Store #1] were dating when the boyfriend applied for a managerial position at both [Store #1] and [Store #2] about five miles away. I offered him the position at [Store #2], explaining that he could be a manager there, but he could not do it here at [Store #1] while dating a coworker. He took the job at [Store #2] without hesitation. His girlfriend was at my store for another few weeks before she put in for a transfer with him.

Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot transfer you. If we do that, [Boyfriend] would be your boss, and that is a conflict of interest.”

Girlfriend: “But we want to work together.”

Me: “I understand how you feel, but we cannot do that. It’s a favoritism concern.”

Girlfriend: *Crossing her arms* “Look, you can transfer me or I quit. Those are literally your options.”

Me: *Nodding* “Okay, well, you can leave your ID badge with me.”

Girlfriend: “What?”

Me: “I’m not transferring you.”

Girlfriend: “Are you serious?”

Me: “I am.”

Girlfriend: “You’re a crusty p***y sucking b****.”

[Girlfriend] stormed out, leaving her badge. I laughed, filing her insult away for my own entertainment later on.

It was only a few days before I saw her application for [Store #2] come through our system. She used a gender-neutral nickname for her application, refused to provide a gender identity, and completely omitted her job with us from her application. Had I not recognized the phone number, I probably would have missed it completely.

I had Human Resources call and schedule an interview and be sure not to tell her I would be there. When she walked in, I smiled and motioned for her to take a seat. She turned bright red and walked right back out. I was a little disappointed; I really wanted to ask if she was calling ME crusty or what she accused me of sucking on. Sadly, I will never know.