We’re Not Sure We Want To Know The Answer

I oversee several stores in one company, often traveling from one location to another. Two employees at [Store #1] were dating when the boyfriend applied for a managerial position at both [Store #1] and [Store #2] about five miles away. I offered him the position at [Store #2], explaining that he could be a manager there, but he could not do it here at [Store #1] while dating a coworker. He took the job at [Store #2] without hesitation. His girlfriend was at my store for another few weeks before she put in for a transfer with him.

Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot transfer you. If we do that, [Boyfriend] would be your boss, and that is a conflict of interest.”

Girlfriend: “But we want to work together.”

Me: “I understand how you feel, but we cannot do that. It’s a favoritism concern.”

Girlfriend: *Crossing her arms* “Look, you can transfer me or I quit. Those are literally your options.”

Me: *Nodding* “Okay, well, you can leave your ID badge with me.”

Girlfriend: “What?”

Me: “I’m not transferring you.”

Girlfriend: “Are you serious?”

Me: “I am.”

Girlfriend: “You’re a crusty p***y sucking b****.”

[Girlfriend] stormed out, leaving her badge. I laughed, filing her insult away for my own entertainment later on.

It was only a few days before I saw her application for [Store #2] come through our system. She used a gender-neutral nickname for her application, refused to provide a gender identity, and completely omitted her job with us from her application. Had I not recognized the phone number, I probably would have missed it completely.

I had Human Resources call and schedule an interview and be sure not to tell her I would be there. When she walked in, I smiled and motioned for her to take a seat. She turned bright red and walked right back out. I was a little disappointed; I really wanted to ask if she was calling ME crusty or what she accused me of sucking on. Sadly, I will never know.