Back in 2010, I was on my way to California. It was my first time traveling alone to visit family.

When I got through agriculture and the TSA, I stopped at an information booth because I didn’t know the layout of the airport. The woman at the kiosk told me that I could take a shuttle to my gate and directed me where to go.

I decided that the shuttle would probably take too long and walking would be faster.

Yeah… it wasn’t.

It turned out my gate was clear on the farthest side of the airport from where I was. I ended up having to run for the last part and still ended up getting to my gate at the very last possible second. The door to the jetway was already closed. Luckily, they opened it for me as the doors to the plane hadn’t been closed yet.

I was rewarded for my stupidity, though; the other two seats in my row were either never purchased or the individuals meant to occupy them were also trying to run to the gate. I had all three seats to myself for the whole flight, minus the landing when someone’s daughter asked for the window seat to watch the plane touch down.

The moral of the story?

Listen to the people that work there.

This happens when I am returning from my annual two-week active duty in the Navy Reserves. I have my Department of Defense return flight from New Orleans to San Antonio. If you know anything about the military, they always book your flights to and from active duty sites in coach — unless you’re an officer, and I am not.

I check in at the flight desk and then again at the terminal to ensure that I have my reserved seat on the flight home. They finally call my boarding section, and I drag myself and my backpack onto the plane. I find my seat and there’s a woman sitting in it. WOW. Okay.

Me: “Ma’am, you’re in my assigned seat.”

Woman: “No, I’m not!”

She keeps insisting that she’s not in my seat. The flight attendant is called, and she looks at my boarding pass and this lady’s flight ticket — no boarding pass.

Flight Attendant: *To me* “Please step to the front of the plane, and I’ll sort it out after everyone has boarded.”

I was pi**ed but compliant. I was afraid that I’d be bumped to a later flight — not good.

Everyone got boarded and there were no seats in coach. Absolutely none. BUT there was a vacant seat in First Class. And so that’s where the flight attendant seated me: in First Class next to a very nice professional golfer. I got free alcohol, a great meal, and good conversation because that woman didn’t go through the official check-in and get a boarding pass.

The flight attendant even called me by my last name! “Ms. [My Last Name], may I get you another drink? Ms. [My Last Name], would you like a pillow? Ms. [My Last Name], how is your meal?” It was awesome!

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I’m sitting at an airport gate, waiting for a delayed flight, when I hear this on the PA.

PA: “Will the person who left $5,000 wrapped in a yellow rubber band at the security checkpoint please return?”

Long pause.

PA: “We have your rubber band.”

I read this story and I realised I work for the same coffee chain and I have a similar story to share. This is the same coffee chain that has a monthly subscription where you can have five drinks a day (it costs £25, for those who are wondering) but each drink has to be spaced out by at least half an hour.

I am serving in one of the chains in an airport and a customer comes up.

Customer: “I have the monthly subscription and I’d like five extra strong black americanos, please.”

Me: “So you’re getting one on the subscription and paying for the other four?”

Customer: “No, I have five drinks a day because of the subscription.”

Me: “Yes but you can only have one drink on the subscription every half an hour. If you want all five now you have to pay for the other four.”

Customer: “But I have a flight in forty minutes. I can’t get them all spaced out like that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do all five at once on the subscription. The system won’t let me.”

Customer: “But I wanted to bring them on the flight with me! That’s so annoying. Fine, just the one drink then.”

I realise this customer is on his own and just wanted to have the equivalent of ten espresso shots for his flight. Each to their own! I get him his drink and think nothing more of it… until I see him again almost an hour later.

Customer: “An extra strong black americano, please.”

Me: “Didn’t you have a flight to catch, sir?”

Customer: “I put myself on to a later flight so I could get all five drinks. I always make sure I get all five a day from you guys or I lose money!”

If this guy is adamant about getting five drinks a day for £25 a month, then he is spending about 16.6p per drink. He delayed a whole flight for four more drinks… coming to about 66.6p.

There are people who count pennies, and then there’s this guy.

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Think this coffee-shop customer is bad? That’s nothing compared to these 10 Tales From The Barista About Terrible Coffee Store Customers!

I have a long layover between flights, so I go to book an hour in a Minute Suite — basically a small room with a couch and TV where travelers can rest. The woman at the desk is already helping someone else, so I’m waiting behind them.

There are shelves around the desk with items for purchase, such as snacks and blankets. As I’m standing in line, I see a gentleman approach the shelves and pick up a bottle of medicated talcum powder. He makes eye contact with the woman behind the desk and shakes the bottle at her, and she says she’ll be right with him. She finishes checking in the current guest and leaves briefly to show him to his room.

As I watch, the gentleman with the powder opens it, pours some into each of his shoes, places the used bottle back on the counter, and then walks away.

I’m half convinced the whole scene was a mirage produced by my overtired brain.