(I work at a popular non-profit tourist attraction in NYC. All of our admission is by donation, so we make sure that we have as many ways to collect donations as possible. The following happens to me several times every day as I sit at the visitor services desk.)

Me: “Welcome to [Tourist Attraction]! All admission is by donation. Donations can be made with me by cash, credit, or [voucher], on your way inside at the cash box, or at any of the credit card machines throughout.”

Guest: “Okay. So, where should we make the donation?”

(I work at a huge pet retail store that also includes grooming services. As such with a big chain company, there are a lot of policies we have to follow in order to have a safe environment for us and the pets. Some customers don’t like being turned away from grooming due to policies even though it’s in the best interest of the pet. Here is an account of a lady who has had a history of fighting with us on taking her dog. Her dog is older, maybe 10 or older, and constantly has open sores on its legs and paw pads. Per policy, we can’t take a dog with an open wound, as it could become infected in the bath, become irritated during the groom, etc. The last time she was turned away was in December and she threw a huge fit, openly bawling and stating that “we don’t care about her dog.” Since then, she has come in twice, and both times the dog’s sores were healed enough that we could perform the service. She then comes in yesterday for a groom. One of our senior groomers looks over the dog and notices no open sores, so we take him in. About an hour later, the groomer is shaving the dog down and notices a sore that was hidden under all of the fur, and it is open. We call the lady, who screams at us over the phone, and we all prepare for the s*** storm we are about to endure. When she comes in, we all go quiet, waiting for her to blow up on us. She doesn’t say anything until she gets her dog back and it begins.)

Customer: “You know, this just isn’t fair. You have groomed him before!”

Manager: “Ma’am, he has an open wound, and I deeply apologize for not seeing it at check-in, but we can’t continue the groom today for his best safety.”

(As a courtesy, the groomer doing the dog went ahead and did the cut before the owner got there. The only things that weren’t done were the bath, the feet — where the open wound was — and the final touch-up.)

Customer: “The feet aren’t even done! I’M NOT PAYING FOR THIS!”

Manager: “No, ma’am, we aren’t making you pay for this, as we apologize—“

Customer: “THIS JUST ISN’T FAIR! HE HAS LICKING SYNDROME!”

(That’s not a thing.)

Customer: “I’M GOING TO WRITE THIS ALL OVER YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA!”

Manager: “Please, then, don’t leave out the entire story.”

Customer: *yelling inaudibly as she walks out of the store carrying her dog by the head*

(Years ago, I played in church orchestra with a guy who occasionally packed a gun. His wife said he’d sometimes plop down on a metal folding chair with a clank from the gun. This guy was also pretty small — maybe 5’4″, 163 cm, tall. One day he is going into a convenience store and the clerk is locking the door as he goes in.)

Friend: “What’s going on?”

Clerk: “Dude back there has been shoplifting. I’ve already called the police.”

(My friend pays for his gas, and about that time the crook has found himself locked in. The shouting with the clerk quickly escalates into a knock-down, drag-out fight. My friend just stands next to the popcorn machine in the store and nibbles a little popcorn and watches the fight like it is a show. In the end, the clerk manages to wallop the guy over the head with a bottle and he goes down. The clerk came to my friend:)

Clerk: “Why didn’t you help me?”

Friend: “Why? You looked like you were doing pretty good.”

Clerk: “Yeah, but if I wasn’t, he was coming after you next.”

Friend: *pulling the pistol from his pocket* “No, he wasn’t.”

Clerk: *shocked* “You got a license for that thing?”

Friend: “Nope.”

Clerk: *unlocking the door* “Get out of here before the cops get here!”

(I love crazy people.)

(I work at a sandwich shop where the employees make the subs right in front of you down an assembly line. It is the beginning of lunch before the lunch crowd rolls in, so there are no customers in the store yet. My coworker and I see two customers walk in, so we approach the bread station and greet them as we wash our hands.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

(The customers nod at me but otherwise ignore us. I’ve finished washing my hands and I’m putting my gloves on at the bread station. The two customers are deeply involved in a conversation.)

Me: “Whenever you’re ready, I can grab your bread selection for you.”

(The customers don’t even acknowledge me, and continue their conversation. My coworker has her hands washed and joins me with her gloves on, and we both stand patiently at the counter while they are chatting loudly and animatedly, facing each other and not even looking at us. Every once in a while my coworker tries to catch their eyes and opens her mouth to speak but they continue to chat, waving their arms around and laughing. Suddenly, mid-sentence, one of the customers snaps his head at us and glares.)

Customer: “So, do you plan on taking our order or not? We’ve been waiting for five minutes already!”

Coworker: *gives me a side glance* “Yeah, sir, we’re ready when you are.”

(The following exchange happens to my coworker, but I am less than ten feet away and have no customers of my own, so I hear everything firsthand.)

Coworker: “Good morning. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I want you to explain something to me.” *pulls out bank statement* “You charged me an overdraft fee on my checking account, and I want it reversed. I’ve never had a zero balance. I’ve been close, but it’s never been zero.”

Coworker: “Let me take a look at this.”

Customer: “See here?” *points* “You charged me a $12.47 overdraft fee. It shouldn’t have happened. You transferred $500 out of my account on [date], when it should have been $400. I’m trying to balance my account, and I’m $100 short. You took my money, and I need it back.”

Coworker: “Well, first of all, the overdraft fee is $29.00, not $12.47. What you’re seeing here is an overdraft transfer. You are signed up for overdraft protection, so when your balance gets to zero, it pulls from your savings account. This is just taking $12.47 from your savings and putting it into your checking. We didn’t take any money from you.”

Customer: “Well, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place! What about the $100? Where did that go?”

Coworker: “Again, we didn’t take any money. The $500 was transferred from your checking to your savings, so it was always in one of your accounts.”

Customer: “But it was supposed to be $400, not $500! One of you screwed up!”

Coworker: “I can just transfer $100 back if you want. And… wait a minute… Let me look at this for a sec… This says the transfer was done online.”

Customer: “No, one of you did it.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, it shows right here. The transfer was done online through home banking. We don’t have any access to your account online, so there is no way we could have done anything.”

Me: *cutting in* “You should have received an email confirming the transfer. I know I get one every time I do a transfer online. And you can check your transaction history online, too.”

Customer: *realizing she made a mistake* “Oh… Maybe I did do that… Okay, yes, please transfer the $100 back into the account. Thanks. Bye.” *leaves*

Me: “And this is why we can’t do telephone transfers anymore…”