(It’s a slow day and it’s just me and the deputy manager on duty. I’m working the registers when a usually-friendly customer comes in with her boyfriend. They buy a six pack of beer and get a top-up voucher for her phone. The voucher prints out with the receipt. She seems grouchy and declines the receipt, so I tear the voucher off and hand it to her before throwing the receipt away. I think everything’s fine until she comes back thirty minutes later.)

Customer: *storms up to till* “You! You never gave me my top-up!”

Me: “I what? I could’ve sworn I handed it to you.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t. You threw it in the bin!”

(I’m not used to being shouted at, so I’m doing my best not to get upset and to keep my voice level.)

Me: “I remember handing it to you. Is it possible it fell out your pocket somewhere?”

Customer: “No! I told you I didn’t want the receipt and you just threw it away! Get me my voucher!”

(Due to the way the system works I can’t even refund the transaction to get her money back, and if I printed a new one my till would be short. So, instead, I start rummaging through our receipt bin, just in case I did accidentally throw it away. Unfortunately, a line has started to form behind her.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. I will find your voucher, but do you mind if I serve these people?”

Customer: “Fine. Just hurry up!”

(She steps out of line and continues to glare at me while I serve other customers. My deputy manager wanders by and I flag him down to help, so now we’re both sifting through old receipts while I apologise both to him and to the customer.)

Me: “I’m really sorry. I could’ve sworn I gave it to you!”

(I’m panicking now because we’ve been through the entire bin with no sign of the voucher.)

Deputy Manager: “Hang on. I’ll be right back.” *goes through to the back office*

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’ve practically stolen from me! It’s in that bin. Check again.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s not here. Is there any way you just misplaced it?”

Customer: “No! You’re useless!”

(The deputy manager comes back.)

Deputy Manager: “You put it in your coat pocket.”

Customer: “I’m not wearing a coat.”

Deputy Manager: “But you were when you came in earlier. I just checked the CCTV. I’m guessing you left it at home before coming back here? I’m sure if you check it’ll be there.”

Customer: “If it’s not, I’m coming right back!” *she leaves*

Me: “Please, God, don’t come back.”

Deputy Manager: *while laughing* “Go and have a cup of tea. It’ll be fine.”

(She did come back a few hours later to apologise, and she even gave me £1 to get myself a treat to make up for it. I suppose it was good of her to come back and do that, but I’ve never felt comfortable around her since then.)

I just took a flight. Since the duration of the flight was only one hour, they did not serve any hot meals to the passengers. This was announced before the flight attendants brought out the food cart.

A middle-aged gentleman was sitting right in front of me, and he ordered a sandwich. A flight attendant handed him his sandwich and continued her service.

Once the man finished his sandwich, he summoned a flight attendant. Once he came to the man, he started getting angry at the flight attendant, because “his food was cold.” The flight attendant apologized and informed him that since it was a short flight, they could not serve hot meals. The man seemed to let it go.

After a few minutes, when the flight attendant was passing by, he told him, “You know what? When you serve food like this going forward, you should probably also give a stick with it, so that we can push it down our throats.”

The flight attendant smiled and handled the situation gracefully, but I don’t know what the man was expecting!

This story is part of our Terrible Airline Passengers roundup!

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(I work doing tech support for a company that makes satellite dishes for RVs and campers. This is the first call of the day. Here are some snippets of conversation I had with him. These quotes are VERBATIM. He’s in the guide.)

Me: “Exit out of the guide.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘exit out of the guide’?”

Me: “Hit the exit or back button.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘hit the exit or back button’?”

Me: “What model receiver do you have?”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘what model receiver do I have’?”

Me: “Okay, is your remote silver and black or just solid black?”

Customer: “Solid black.”

Me: “Okay, you have a [receiver]. In the upper left corner, hit the back button”

Customer: “There’s only a menu and input button over there.”

(He’s describing the other type of receiver remote, which is called a ‘211.’)

Me: “Okay, you have a 211. Your remote is silver and black.”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s silver and black.”

(I get him to finally exit out of the guide.)

Me: “Okay, please hit 1-4-0 on the remote control.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘hit 1-4-0 on the remote control’?”

(ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It’s not rocket science, man. After fifteen minutes, I got him to the screen with the phone number he needed to call to fix his problem.)

(We have an event going on where we have our chain character dressed up to do a little something for the kids. There is a giveaway and some face painting, music, and coupons for free food in our store. We also have some coupons circulating in the mail that many people can bring in, as well. It is packed, with barely any elbow room for anyone. A man has brought his family for the event and he has a coupon from the mail. It states in large letters, “Buy one meal, receive a free sandwich.” Simple enough, right? He puts in his order and I read it back to him, and he says okay and pays. After I hand him the receipt and his drinks:)

Customer: “Excuse me, you forgot a cup.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me double check.”

(After looking over the order, I determine that I have given him the right amount.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I only rung you up for that amount of drinks. Would you like me to charge you for another one?”

Customer: “No! I want what I ordered!”

(He looks over the receipt and finds the issue.)

Customer: “See here! You only put the sandwich for free! It was for a free meal!”

Me: “No, sir, this coupon has come through many times and I assure you: it is to buy a meal, get a free sandwich.”

Customer: “No, you’re wrong, b****!”

(I am taken aback by his rude comment and I have no time for this because I have more customers to assist.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not. Next!”

(Luckily, he left it at that.)

(I’m taking orders and a man walks up to the register.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like the breakfast platter.”

Me: “Okay, I can do that; however, now that it is lunchtime, we no longer serve the scrambled egg. You may change it for the round or folded egg, if you’d like.”

Customer: “Oh… okay… The folded, then. That’s like the scrambled egg, right? I’d like it fresh; have them scramble it.”

Me: “Um… well the folded egg is frozen and reheated, so it isn’t like I can have them scramble it like that. Plus, we don’t serve scrambled eggs after breakfast has ended and lunch has begun. If you’d like a fresh egg, the round eggs are fresh.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want a round egg. I want a fresh egg.”

Me: “Well, the round is the only fresh egg I have. The folded egg is frozen, so while I can have it made right now to be as fresh as possible, it will be a frozen egg reheated.”

Customer: “No, I want a fresh egg. Frozen isn’t fresh; that’s like saying a rotten egg is fresh.”

Me: *getting irate* “I never said frozen was fresh, sir. What is it that you want me to do?”

Customer: “I want a manager.”

(I call my manager over and while assisting the next customer, I hear this conversation:)

Manager: “What can I do for you, sir?”

Customer: “First of all, your worker here has a bad attitude and doesn’t seem to want to help me. I want a fresh egg. Do you have it or not?”

(I heard her tell him the same thing I had just previously said. The conversation continued on repeat for the next five minutes until he finally decided to walk out the door in a huff.)