Gun Controlling The Situation

(Years ago, I played in church orchestra with a guy who occasionally packed a gun. His wife said he’d sometimes plop down on a metal folding chair with a clank from the gun. This guy was also pretty small — maybe 5’4″, 163 cm, tall. One day he is going into a convenience store and the clerk is locking the door as he goes in.)

Friend: “What’s going on?”

Clerk: “Dude back there has been shoplifting. I’ve already called the police.”

(My friend pays for his gas, and about that time the crook has found himself locked in. The shouting with the clerk quickly escalates into a knock-down, drag-out fight. My friend just stands next to the popcorn machine in the store and nibbles a little popcorn and watches the fight like it is a show. In the end, the clerk manages to wallop the guy over the head with a bottle and he goes down. The clerk came to my friend:)

Clerk: “Why didn’t you help me?”

Friend: “Why? You looked like you were doing pretty good.”

Clerk: “Yeah, but if I wasn’t, he was coming after you next.”

Friend: *pulling the pistol from his pocket* “No, he wasn’t.”

Clerk: *shocked* “You got a license for that thing?”

Friend: “Nope.”

Clerk: *unlocking the door* “Get out of here before the cops get here!”

(I love crazy people.)