Funny stories about family

Oh… Oh, No…

, , , , , , | Related | July 17, 2021

I’m gay and my family is very supportive. I’m visiting home from college during Thanksgiving break, and I invite my boyfriend to come along. We get a warm welcome and dinner goes smoothly.

On Friday, traditionally, my mother makes a lot of candy and we ship them off to friends and relatives. My boyfriend and I help box everything up. This year, she has decided to make about six different kinds of fudge.

As my boyfriend and I are cutting, wrapping, and boxing up the candy, my mom sticks her head into the den.

Mom: “How are my little fudge packers doing?”

My boyfriend and I burst into laughter, and it took us fifteen minutes before we were able to stop giggling long enough to explain to her what “fudge packer” meant.

My then-boyfriend is now my husband. I love my family.

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McMalicious Compliance

, , , , , | Related | CREDIT: True_Madness | July 15, 2021

When she was younger, my little sister was… a brat. She had to have the best clothes and the best things in life, and she was always chatting with her friends on her mobile. One morning, my mum got a text message from my sister… who was in her bedroom, three rooms away, asking for her to make her some breakfast. My mother took a breath.

Mother: *Texting* “Okay, what do you want?”

My sister responded that she wanted an egg and bacon with a muffin. My mother’s own “McMuffins” were a Sunday special in our house. So, my mother complied. She got a plate, place an unopened egg, a cold piece of bacon, and a muffin on it, walked it to my sister’s room, and placed it in front of her.

Sister: “You didn’t cook it”

Mother: “You didn’t specify!”

And she left the room. My sister never asked my mother for breakfast through a text ever again.

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Parenting Is All About Timing

, , , , , , , | Related | CREDIT: Petallic | July 12, 2021

Twenty years ago, my brother lived by himself about an hour away from where my mum and I lived. We lived in a rural area, while my brother was in the nearest city. Whenever my mum had a need to go into the city, she would pick him up and they’d just spend time together.

He had a really bad habit on these occasions to wait until she was already there and then get out of bed, shower, get dressed, and then meet her outside. This process would take anywhere from ten minutes to half an hour, which would eat into the time mum was willing to spend in the city.

One day, Mum arranged to see him.

Brother: “Okay, just text me when you’re here.”

The next day, she texted him, “I’m here,” as she was leaving her house, an hour away from my brother. So, my brother got up, got showered and dressed, and went to stand outside, looking for her car. After waiting for fifteen minutes or so, he finally rang her to find out where she was parked.

Mum: “Parked? I’m not parked anywhere. I’m still driving.”

Brother: “But you texted me that you’re here.”

Mum: “I am here. You’re there. I will be there in about fifteen minutes. Are you ready?”

Brother: “Yes, I’ve been ready for fifteen minutes and waiting outside for you!”

Mum: “Oh, good. I won’t have to wait this time. See you in a moment!”

On that occasion, Mum was able to get on with her day immediately. In the future, my brother did end up being dressed in time for Mum getting there, but he is still perpetually and habitually late to this day, twenty years later. We still talk about this text every time my brother is late.

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According To My Brief Research… You’re Right

, , , , | Related | July 10, 2021

My mom and I are at the store and head into the cosmetics section so she can get a few things. I don’t wear makeup and am not interested in doing so, so I poke about while she looks over makeup shades… until something fun catches my eye.

Me: “Hey, Mom, look! Planet-themed bath bombs!”

Mom: “That’s cool.” *Goes back to browsing*

Me: “And the different planets have different scents. Venus is citrus-scented.”

Mom: “That’s cool.”

Me: “Earth is ocean-scented. And the moon is vanilla.”

Mom: “That’s cool.”

Me: *Pauses* “I would hate to find out what the Uranus bath bomb smells like.”

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Well, Go Tell Her SOMEBODY’S Dead

, , , , | Related | July 8, 2021

My boyfriend and I are gamers, so a lot of times when I go over to his place, we each have our video game devices and just play. I’m known for being a little odd sometimes. One day, I’m sitting there playing on my phone and my boyfriend is playing a horror game on his console. I can hear some music playing and I look up.

Me: “That song… Is that Go Tell Aunt Rhody?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah.”

Me: “That was my song when I was a little kid!”

My boyfriend is giving me a look of horror.

Me: “What? My mom and my grandma used to sing it to me all the time when I was little.”

He’s now giving me the “What kind of childhood did you have?!’” look. He turns the volume up.

Song: “Go tell Aunt Rhody, go tell Aunt Rhody, go tell Aunt Rhody that everybody’s dead.”

Me: “What?! No! It’s ‘the ol’ gray goose is dead’!”

Apparently, he had never heard of the folk version, only the horror version. When I asked around, very few people had heard of either song. I didn’t know that it wasn’t that common where I live! Also, just to show how odd my family is… we seriously debated singing that at my grandma’s funeral.

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