Man Who Jumps Through Backyards Carrying Large Sack Confused At Being Mistaken For Burglar

, , , , , , | Related | November 14, 2018

(I am visiting my grandparents, and all three of us are sitting down and talking about other family members. My grandma has just finished telling me about an incident that a cousin was involved in when she says this:)

Grandma: “I’m glad you and your sister were never troublemakers.”

Grandpa: *laughs* “Unlike [My Father].”

Me: *confused, as my dad is very mild-mannered* “Dad used to get into trouble?”

Grandma: “Oh, not intentionally. He was just always very…”

Grandpa: “Oblivious?”

Grandma: *nods* “Right. Like that time he was almost arrested for burglary.”

Me: *shocked* “How did he manage that?!”

Grandma: “Well, he used to walk down to the laundromat to do his laundry. But rather than taking the long route he would climb over walls and through people’s backyards.”

Grandpa: “So, eventually, someone notices a young guy running through yards carrying a bulging sack over his shoulder. They called the police and he was almost arrested, until they looked in the bag and saw only dirty clothes.”

Me: “Knowing him, I can see all of this happening.”

Growing Up With Two Daddies Appears To Be Reasonable To A Child From Day One

, , , , , | Related | November 14, 2018

(My father is an identical twin. When both he and his brother were in the military and my uncle was visiting, I was about two. My mother and I had an interesting conversation.)

Mom: *pointing at my uncle* “Who’s that?”

Me: “That’s Daddy!”

Mom: *pointing at my father* “Who’s that?”

Me: “Two daddies!”

(I’m sure it seemed reasonable to me at the time.)

Child Mistaken As Resident Of A Woman’s Shelter, Vows To Buy Some New Sneakers

, , , | Related | November 13, 2018

(My mom does a lot of charity work, and I occasionally get to help her with lighter deliveries of clothing and other goods. One place my mom tries to support is a local shelter aimed at young women and teen girls. I’m about 16 or 17 when this takes place, and since it’s the weekend — with the accompanying chores — I’m not dressed all that fancy.)

Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. You want to help me deliver to [Women’s Shelter] today?”

Me: “Sure, I’m ready if you are!”

Mom: “They’re not expecting me today, but I don’t think they’ll mind as we’ll still be within their usual donation hours.”

(We arrive at the apartment complex with boxes of donated clothing, magazines, etc. Due to the nature of some of the women’s “care,” the location isn’t well-known, and only a few non-volunteers are aware of it. Before we can start unloading, Mom and I get out of the car to explain to the staff on-duty what’s all included. A middle-aged woman, no doubt a coordinator of volunteers, steps outside and nearly shrieks when she sees me.)

Coordinator: “OH!” *gasps and starts to grow frantic, glancing at my oversized sweatshirt and old sneakers* “They didn’t tell me we were getting a new girl in today! Oh, honey, we’ll get a room set up for you right away, but we’ll need a bit of time!”

(The second she catches on, my mom starts laughing too hard to explain. Meanwhile, I’m left standing awkwardly on the driveway, wondering what I can possibly say.)

Mom: “S-she’s my daughter, [Coordinator]!”

Coordinator:Oh! I’m so sorry!”

(My mom was now nearly on the ground in hysterics, so I calmly introduced myself before helping unload the car. The coordinator apologized again, and I dismissed her concerns while secretly resolving to buy some new sneakers.)

Telling Children Milk Makes Them Grow Tall Calls Into Question Drinking Habits Of Short Mothers

, , , , | Related | November 13, 2018

(I don’t have kids of my own, but I have lots of nieces and nephews, and I enjoy every minute around them. My sister is feeding her three-year-old son.)

Sister: *cheerfully hands him a cup of milk* “Drink it, my little boy! Drink it, and you will grow to be so tall and strong!”

Boy: *drinking, it really excited* “As tall as [Tall Guy he knows]?”

Sister: “Yes! As tall as him!”

Boy: *still excited* “And as tall as [Another Tall Guy]?!”

Sister: “Yes! You will be even taller than both of them!”

Boy: *suddenly stops drinking and looks at my sister, confused* “Mom, you didn’t finish your milk when you were little?”

Stan Lee… RIP

| Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | November 12, 2018

Many of us here at Not Always Right grew up with the marvelous comic creations of Stan Lee, and we were all sad to hear of his passing. In tribute to his amazing legacy, we have rounded up some stories from the archives that show we are not alone in being touched by prolific and creative energy.


Photo credit: Fort Greene Focus on VisualHunt / CC BY-ND

 

The Jean-Grey To My Scott Summers – True love can blossom in comic conundrums.

The Jean-Grey To My Scott Summers, Part 2 – True love can also blossom in comic confrontations!

Generation X – Stan’s creativity has allowed many children to think outside the box.

Granola Bars, High In Iron, Gamma Rays, And Vibranium –  For well-behaved children, the reward is Marvel!

The Stark Truth Shall Set You Free – Marvel’s output gets biblical in its complexity.

Got The Avengers Nailed – Who said comics are just for boys?

Your Friendly Neighborhood Customer Service – The secret identity to a child’s happiness.

The Infinity Aisle – With great power comes a great work ethic!

Made Contact With The X-Men – A child’s wonder is one of the best things that come from comics.

The Black Widow To My Hawkeye – DC? Eww!

A Thort-ful Child, Part 2 – Stan Lee, we were Loki to have you.

 

Want more? Then why not revisit our Superhero Roundup?

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