I am shopping in town with my nine-year-old son in tow. Perhaps it’s not such a good idea, but I go into a shop to get myself some new underwear.
We’re in the area where they sell oversized underwear and my cheeky monkey of a son points to a rack of some of the larger items and says in his high-pitched and penetrating voice:
Son: “Look, Mum! Hats for twins!”
And he scampered off, sniggering.
Trouble is, I couldn’t stop laughing. I was still tittering when I got to the checkout, and unfortunately, I set off the member of staff. They say laughter is infectious. I infected the entire store, basically.
When we got outside I gave him one of my famous punishments that aren’t really punishments.
Me: “Just for that, we aren’t going to go up to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen this afternoon.”
I work from home in online customer service, where we usually talk with customers via phone. Since our opening hours are from morning until late evening, I most often still work after my husband and our two small children have come home.
The children are very good at not coming into my “office” (our bedroom) while I’m working, but they are still small, so they tend to forget every now and then, and there’s no lock on the door. Usually, it’s no harm.
I am in the middle of a call when my two-and-a-half-year-old comes in. I try to tell them without words to go out, but they have a “very important message” to give me and will not leave no matter what. I have no other option but to ask if the customer is okay with being on hold for a second.
The important message?
Toddler: “Mommy, I am your friend.”
They gave me a bright smile and walked away happily.
I had to inform the customer about this. They could only agree that the message was indeed very important.
I’m both an author and a big nerd; therefore, it’s probably not a surprise that I’m always trying to get my kids to read. Both are reasonably accepting of my enthusiasm for the written word but would much rather be on the computer. The other day, I brought home a small stack of books I thought my eight-year-old might like.
Daughter: “Oh, thanks, Mom! I love books. They’re good for when I have no electronics privileges because they’re just like phones except you can only do one thing on them: read.”
I’m about five, and I’m in the car with my grandparents heading to a forest. A very well-known family frequents the area. Whilst it’s an area Grandpa lived in for a long period of time, he can’t remember how to get there. We’re surrounded by trees, though, so we’re likely to be close. There’s someone in a swept-up land rover behind us.
Grandpa: “I’ll ask that man behind for directions.”
Granny: *Alarmed* “I don’t think that’s a good idea!”
Grandpa: “It’s fine. I must know him; I recognise his face!”
He does just that and approaches the land rover. Then, men in suits just appear from the trees and the surrounding area. Loads of them. Grandpa freezes. I ask Granny who they are and she says they’re security.
Security: “Sir, please return to your vehicle.”
Grandpa: “But we’re lost. We want to get to [Forest].”
Security: *Pauses* “You’re in the forest. Stay on this road and you’ll get to the car park.”
Grandpa: “Oh. Right. Okay.”
He gets back to the car and heads off. There’s a long stretch of silence.
Granny: *Imitating Grandpa* “‘I must know him; I recognise his face!'” *Crossly* “That was Prince Edward, you idiot!”
My niece is around three.
Me: “I love you, [Niece].”
Niece: “I know. Everyone loves me.”
Me: “Oh? Everyone does?”
Niece: “Uh-huh. Mommy is always telling me she love me, and [Grandmother] does, and my teachers all love me.”
Me: “I understand why they would all love you. You’re smart, kind, and one of the best-behaved kids I’ve ever known. What’s not to love?”
I still smile when I remember her confidence in declaring everyone loved her. I hope she can keep up that self-esteem as she gets older!
This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for April 2021!
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Read the Feel Good roundup for April 2021!
