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Funny stories about family

These ARE The Droids You’re Looking For

, , , | Related | February 18, 2026

Our dog has just had a litter of four puppies. Our children know we will be putting them up for adoption soon, but love having them around during this extra-cute stage, and have decided to name them.

My sister has brought her kids over to see the puppies (and maybe adopt two of them for her own kids) and is asking about them.

Sister: “I heard your kids named them?”

Me: “Yes, these are the two boys, R2, and D2.”

Sister: *Pauses.* “Oh, yeah, your kids are into Star Wars.”

Me: “Yeah.”

Sister: “And let me guess, the girl pups are C3 and PO?”

Me: “We were going to go with that, but the last one just became ‘Pee’ because… well, if you adopt her… you’ll find out… as will every corner of your sofa.”

Both my sisters ended up adopting all the dogs (two boys in one household and two girls in the other) for their respective kids. Puppy ‘Pee’ went back to being ‘PO” after some good training.

Pile On About The Pills

, , | Related | February 17, 2026

I’m sitting at the kitchen table when my mom casually mentions she gave one of her prescription pills to a relative because “they had the same problem.” 

I stop everything.

Me: “Mom… what did you just say?”

Mom: “Oh, relax. They needed it, and it helped me, so I gave them one.”

I take a breath. Then I switch to the voice I use when I volunteer with kids.

Me: “Okay. We’re going to use small words now.”

Mom: *Rolls her eyes.* “Don’t talk to me like I’m five.”

Me: “Then don’t act like medicine is Halloween candy.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but I don’t let her.

Me: “Prescription pills are not sharing pills. They are named pills. They have your name on them.”

I should note that my mom’s medication is very specific to her, and it took a long time to get the dosage just right between her doctor and herself due to the long list of side effects.

Mom: “But it’s basically the same thing.”

Me: “No. Different bodies. Different problems. Different doses.”

Mom: “It was just one.”

Me: “One wrong pill can hurt someone. Or kill them.”

She finally looks uncomfortable.

Me: “Doctors get very mad about this. Pharmacies get very mad. The law gets very mad.”

Mom: “…fine.”

I look over at a large pile on the table next to her couch.

Mom: “Relax! They’re skittles!”

Anything But The Metric System…

, , , | Related | February 16, 2026

Kid: “How much does Toasty (our dog) weigh?”

Me: “About ninety pounds.”

Kid: *Long pause.* “How much is that in dog pounds?”

Me: “Dogs don’t have their own pounds.”

Kid: *Even longer pause.* “So what’s a dog pound?”

Me: “I feel like this is a Dad Joke that I didn’t make and got out of hand…”

The Cat Distribution System Wins Again

, , , , , | Related | February 15, 2026

When I moved from my mom’s house to my dad’s to be closer to college in my late teens, my dad made one rule very clear: absolutely no animals in his house. My mom, on the other hand, told me that if I left my cat with her, she would take her straight back to the Humane Society. Don’t judge her too harshly; this cat was 666 kinds of crazy. She adored me and was the sweetest thing in the world to me, but to everyone else, she was the devil’s favorite villain. I named her Nova because she would go supernova without warning and explode with energy.

I begged my mom to let me keep Nova at her place, and she agreed… for a few weeks. Then a full-blown Super Nova event happened. Things broke, my mom gained a few new grey hairs, and suddenly, my cat was homeless.

So, I picked her up and smuggled her into my room at Dad’s house.

My dad worked long hours, and as long as Nova didn’t encounter another human, she was a perfectly normal, lazy cat who slept 90% of the time. She lived quietly in my room, and my dad was just happy I was home more often.

One day, my dad called and said he was making dinner at 6 PM and we needed to talk. I didn’t think much of it until I got home and saw my bedroom door wide open. The cat food and litter box had been moved to the kitchen and bathroom, and Nova was sprawled on the couch like she owned the place.

I’ve had tense moments with my parents before, but that dinner felt like I was about to be put on trial, for my life or at least my cat’s. I waited the entire meal for him to bring her up, but he never did. We talked about school and work, and I sat there bracing for the Cat Bomb to drop.

After dinner, he told me to do the dishes and that there would be no more disappearing for an entire day. I needed to be home and no more leaving five minutes after I got there, no exceptions.

Months later, when I decided to move in with my boyfriend, I started packing. My dad looked at me and said the cat was staying. Keep in mind, in all those months, we had never discussed Nova. She would sit between us on the couch or curl up in his lap, and neither of us said a word about it. And she was a perfect princess in his house, no supernovas, no wicked witch behavior. She finally turned into a sweet, loving cat that just wanted to be the best lap cat in the world.

I tried to argue that she’s my cat, as such, she’s coming with me, but Dad pointed out I was moving from a decent-sized house to a studio apartment, and as he put it, it wouldn’t be fair to take her from her castle to a rundown shack. Which, to be fair, a shack would have been an upgrade to the hovel I was moving to.

Nova was three when she moved in with my dad and lived there until she was seventeen. It wasn’t until after she passed that I learned what actually happened the day he called me home for dinner.

In my rush to get to class, I hadn’t closed my bedroom door all the way, and Nova escaped. My dad got up for coffee after I’d already left, and Nova rubbed against his leg for attention. He bent down, petted her, and headed to work. Until halfway there, he remembered we didn’t have a cat. He did a U-turn and drove back home to make sure he hadn’t dreamed the whole thing.

When he walked in, Nova was stretched out in a sunbeam in the family room like she’d lived there her whole life. He went into my room, found all the evidence, and got more and more upset, which is when he called me.

His plan was to yell at me, ground me (I was nineteen, so I’m not sure he thought that through), and generally unleash all the parental fury that comes with a kid breaking the rules. He didn’t go to work that day. While he was figuring out how to punish me, he sat on the couch, and Nova hopped into his lap, spun around three times, and fell asleep doing air biscuits while purring.

Thankfully, the magic spell she cast on him never wore off. Twenty-five years later, my dad has five cats, plus several others over the years that he rescued, those who were too sick to save but were able to spend their last months or years in comfort. I tell him Nova turned him into a cat whisperer, as every cat he’s had since I moved out has literally shown up on his doorstep asking to be rescued.

Obama-Drama! The Epic Saga

, , , , , | Related | February 14, 2026

My grown siblings and I are visiting home, talking to our parents over dinner. I can’t remember how the conversation got started, but we were talking about September 11 and how the world scene has changed since then.

Mom: “It’s all Obama’s fault! Everything bad that’s happened in America recently happened because of him!”

Me: “Mom, pretty sure Bush was president when that happened.”

Mom: “September 2011! Obama!”

Me: “Oh my god, Mom! September 11, two-thousand-and-one! Two-zero-zero-one!”

Brother: “Mom, you came to pick us up from school that day because we were let out early. You think we were still in elementary in 2011?”

Mom: “Well… maybe I mixed up a couple of numbers, but Obama is still to blame for so many bad things since then!”

Sister: “Oh, I know! Like, World War Two? Obama.”

Brother: “In fact, both World Wars were his fault, right?”

Mom: “Oh, whatever!”

Me: “Remember when he caused the plague in Europe back in the medieval times?”

Brother: “Or he let the Romans invade, like, everywhere. Lousy defense on his part.”

Mom: “Stop it!”

Sister: “Pretty sure he was responsible for the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs—”

Mom: “—Shut up!”

She tried to get Dad to defend her, but he was too busy giggling into his bowl of Jello.

Related:
Obama Drama, Part 11
Obama Drama, Part 10
Obama Drama, Part 9
Obama Drama, Part 8
Obama Drama, Part 7