(I’m watching ‘The Avengers’. Suddenly I see a mother, with a little boy who is dressed in an Iron Man costume and bouncing up the steps and scuttling into his booster seat. I am worried at first that he will be very noisy, but he is probably the most well-behaved little boy I have ever seen at the movies. The movie comes to the part where Loki is being taken to the gigantic holding cell. Suddenly, this little boy has a very important question to ask his mother, one he just couldn’t really keep to himself.)

Boy: “Mommy, is he going into time out?”

(Little fantastic boy in the Iron Man costume, you just made that scene forever funny in my mind.)

(I am working in the greeting card section. The manager is explaining to me where all the different types of cards should go.)

Manager: “…and for the children’s birthday cards, the ones with drawings or cartoons should be here, and the ones with photographs should be on the bottom shelf.”

(I notice a card on the bottom shelf with a picture of a Tyrannosaurus painted in a realistic style, and pick it up.)

Me: “Oh, then this one must be in the wrong place.”

Manager: “Why? Isn’t that a photograph?”

Me: “Well, it does look realistic, but it’s a dinosaur. There are no photographs of them.”

Manager: “Why not?”

(Our company sent out coupons a few months ago and they expired June 3rd. A customer walks in and slaps the coupons down on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to use this for my salad.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, those expired on the 3rd of the month.”

Customer: “NO! It says they expire June 32nd!”

Me: “Sir, there is no June 32nd.”

Customer: *glances at the coupon and then storms out of the building cursing*

(I work at a bureau de change (currency exchange). A customer comes in, wanting to change £20 into Euros. The computer automatically rounds the quote up to the nearest 5€, as this is the smallest denomination note, so it’s rare that we’re ever able to change the exact sterling amount. However, we can use Euro coins to get a little closer.)

Me: “I can give you 25 euros for £20.83.”

Customer: *hands me a £20 note*

Me: “Do you have the extra 83 pence?”

Customer: *nods and smiles*

Me: *waits*

(After a few seconds, I try again.)

Me: “It’s £20.83 for the 25 euros. Do you have another 83p?”

Customer: “Yep.” *nods and smiles again*

Me: “If you pass it through, I’ll process the transaction and get your Euros ready for you.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Just the 83 pence then, please.”

(I try a couple more variations of this, but in the end decide to give up and bring it slightly under £20 by rounding down with some Euro coins. He’ll now get 23 Euros and some Sterling change. I count his money for him, and…)

Customer: “Wait, I thought you were going to give me 25 Euros? I’ve got some extra cash on me if you need to go a little over.”

Me: *speechless*

(We’ve recently gotten a transferred supervisor from another state, and we all just love her. We’re all particularly excited to see what happens when one of our regulars, who’s a big jerk and a misogynist, meets her. Note: I’m sweeping up a small mess when this happens.)

Mean Regular: *to me* “I see you got a new skirt around here.”

Me: “We do have a new woman working here, yes.”

Mean Regular: “Then why you sweepin’? That’s her job. It’s woman’s work!” *yells across the store at her* “Oi! B****! Why don’t you get to the jobs you supposed to be doin’? Ain’t no man’s job to sweep and clean!”

(My supervisor calmly walks over to our side of the store with a small smile on her face. Note: this customer towers over her and is much bulkier than she is.)

Mean Regular: “What you comin’ over here for?”

Female Supervisor: *calmly* “I came over here to inform you that if you yell across the store like that again, you will have to leave.”

Mean Regular: *menacingly* “What’d you say to me, b****?!”

Female Supervisor: *smiling* “I don’t make a habit of repeating myself, sir.” *to me* “Excuse me.”

(She turns to go back to what she has been doing—helping a different customer—but the mean regular starts yelling again.)

Mean Regular: “I’m gonna get you, b****, I swear I will! You’ll pay for disrespecting me! You can’t talk to me like that. I am a MAN! How dare you!”

(My supervisor stops in her tracks, pulls out her phone, swivels around and takes his picture.)

Female Supervisor: “I’m going to ask you to write down your name, address and phone number so we can contact you about your complaint, sir.”

Mean Regular: “Well, finally. A w**** who knows how to treat a real man!” *writes down his information and leaves*

Me: “What’d you do that for?”

Female Supervisor: “For the police report. He threatened me!”

This story is part of our Women’s Equality Day roundup!

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