Customer: “I was reading your menu. What is a smoked half-chicken?”
Me: “It’s half of a chicken that has been smoked over pecan wood.”
Customer: “What kind of chicken?”
Me: “Do you mean flavor? We don’t put any sauce on it… It’s served plain.”
Customer: “No… I mean what kind of chicken?”
Me: “Well, they just cut a whole chicken in half so you get the white and dark meat.”
Customer: “No! I mean, is it like from a cow or what?!”
(A customer puts beer on the table to buy.)
Me: “Can I see your ID, please, sir?”
Customer: “Oh, I don’t have it.”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell this to you. You have to have a valid ID.”
Customer: “Can’t you tell I’m 21?”
Me: “Yes, sir, but policy requires me to ID you if you look under 40.”
Customer: “Well, I have this… Will it work? You guys have taken it before when I bought beer.”
(Customer hands me a pink government paper with his name and information on it.)
Me: “What is this?”
Customer: “My DUI report.”
(Someone has been sleeping on a chair poolside for many hours. It’s routine to wake a customer if they’re getting too badly burned.)
Me: “Excuse me, miss? You must wake up. You are getting badly sunburned.”
Customer: *sleepily* “Where am I? Is this Hogwarts?”
Me: “No, ma’am.”
Customer: “Narnia?”
Me: “Nope.”
Customer: “Camp Half-Blood?”
Me: “Not even close.”
Customer: *pauses* “Well, s***, then.”
This story is part of the Sunscreen roundup!
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Read the Sunscreen roundup!
(While ringing up a customer, the computer flags cold medicine and asks for age verification.)
Me: “Sir, I need to verify your date of birth.”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “You’re trying to buy medicine and I just need your date of birth to confirm you are over the age of 18.”
Customer: “Oh. April 20th, 1420.”
Me: “Sir, I really need your actual birth date to continue.”
Customer: “4-20-1420. Put it in.”
(I enter the date. The system accepts. I look in disbelief.)
Customer: “Told you.”
This story is part of the Worryingly Weird Checkout Encounters roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 Weird And Funny Stories About The Strangest Customers Ever
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Customer: “Excuse me, miss. These jeans just don’t seem to fit right.”
Me: “Well, these are men’s jeans. We have plenty of women’s jeans over here, in the women’s department. Is there a size I can help you find?”
Customer: “You mean I just tried on men’s jeans?” *horrified look*
Me: “Yes, ma’am. These are men’s jeans. This is the men’s department.”
Customer: “OH, MY GOD! The Bible forbids women to wear men’s clothes! I’m going to Hell!”
Me: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. You didn’t know. God won’t be angry.”
Customer: “That’s what you think. You obviously don’t know God, then.” *storms off*
This story is part of our Biblically Bonkers roundup!
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Read the Biblically Bonkers roundup!
