The pool attendants, lifeguards, and I are being vigilant of the weather today, as we’re expecting a potential storm later. Suddenly, there’s a loud crack of thunder.

Me: “Hi, everyone! I’m afraid we’re going to have to temporarily vacate the pool. That was a loud one! You’ll all be able to re-enter when the storm passes.”

Swimmer: “Why?”

Me: “It’s policy to evacuate the pool during a lightning storm.”

Swimmer: “But that was just thunder! Let me know when there’s lightning!”

I worked as a LGT (lifeguard trainer) for my local city pool for a few years when I was in college. One of my responsibilities was to look after and clean the CPR dolls after we’ve used them. We had to keep those things “clean” since we all used them to practice the different types of CPR and rescue breathing – bag-valve, pocket mask, and straight mouth-to-mouth.

I’m sure that procedure has changed, but the way that we “cleaned” the dolls was to take a Clorox wipe to the whole doll real fast and peel off the face. We would then drop all of the faces into the shallow end of the pool and let them hang out there overnight. I was told that the pool chlorine bath killed everything that was on the things.

The guards who opened the pool the next morning had to fish the faces out of the pool and lay them out on towels on the counter space in the guard room to dry. I would come in later in the day and put the faces back on the dolls before the next training class.

One morning, I was one of the guards set to open the pool. I figured that since I had dropped about twenty CPR doll faces into the pool the night before, I would just take care of finishing the clean-up. I thought that the other guards on deck with me could manage the other opening tasks just fine. I did not factor into account that we had a brand-new guard starting that morning with me.

I didn’t even make it onto the deck before I heard someone screaming bloody murder. The poor new guard had walked out on deck and seen a pool filled with floating faces and nearly had a heart attack.

That’s the story of how I managed to make a guard quit before they were on the job for five minutes.

During one of my swimming classes, a ten-year-old child is a bit rough and accidentally hits me with a foam swimming board. While it was not major, I do want to teach the child a lesson about being rough around the pool.

Me: “Ow, that hurt, [Child’s Name].”

Child: “Oh, are you all right?”

Me: “Yes, but it really hurt.”

Child: “Oh…”

Me: “So, what do you say?”

Child: *Cheerful.* “THANK YOU!” *Realization and horror.* “No, no, sorry, I mean sorry!” 

I couldn’t keep a straight face after that.

I was taking my daughter to her swimming lessons and sat in a separate room with my son, with windows overlooking the pools, thoroughly enjoying seeing her making progress. Enter another mum, also with her son, taking a call from someone.

Now, I don’t know whether this occurs in other countries as well, but in the Netherlands it’s sadly no rarity to see people, often in their twenties, taking calls in public with the other person on speakerphone. I suppose they’d defend it by saying it’s no different from two people talking face-to-face, but I disagree (and I know many people do).

The speakerphone is often way louder, sounds abrasive, and honestly the person taking the call talks way louder too because of it. It’s never just a call about what time someone is home for dinner either, but just endless chit-chat. I hate it and I was done with it.

So I took the polite but direct route.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, would you mind taking that call with the phone on your ear?”

I was expecting her to switch over, either with an apology, annoyance, or nothing at all out of embarrassment that someone decided to say something about it.

Instead, she immediately became hostile and defensive.

Annoying Mum: *Snappy.* “Why? It’s not bothering you.”

Me: “Yes. It is.”

Annoying Mum: “Why? Is my son bothering you too?”

Me: “No, just your phone.”

I still have no clue why she said that. Her son was quiet as a mouse, just playing with a toy table nearby. Perhaps she wanted to use him as a decoy, change the subject, daring me to take a step back or something?

Annoying Mum: “Well if it’s bothering you, why not just go somewhere else?”

Another mother from a kid in my daughter’s class piped up.

Nice Mum: “Excuse me, but what gall! I’m glad he spoke up about it, because it’s annoying me too, and I’m fairly sure others as well. Why don’t YOU move?”

Annoying Mum: “I am not going anywhere and I’m not changing my phone call for you.”

Nice Mum: “It’s incredibly rude and disturbing for other people here, take a hint.”

Then, [Annoying Mum] inwardly said something along the lines of “it’s just because I’m speaking another language”. Indeed, she was on the phone speaking a mix of Dutch and what I thought was Portuguese, and she was a person of colour.

It didn’t matter the slightest in the whole ordeal; she could’ve spoken a local dialect and been white for all I care. But at the time I definitely didn’t want to touch the subject.

I decided to let it go and just suffered through it while she was ranting to the person on the other side about the clash. Which of course was extra enjoyable (not) because we could hear the other person sympathise with her very vocally. Luckily, she hung up after a few minutes and that was the end of it for the time being.

But it left me seething. I’m incredibly vocal and activist about racism, bigotry, migration, socialism, gay rights, you name it. No one gets left behind and every person gets equal treatment. But when someone, who may very well be or have been a victim of racism or anti-immigration rhetorics, pulls a race card just to defend themselves out of a position where they’re just being rude and selfish, it boils my blood. You’re undoing so much that others like you, and myself, are fighting for.

I’m a head lifeguard at my local pool, so I essentially supervise everything that goes on in the building and I am the one responsible for any emergencies, “can I see the manager” requests and any other incidents that pop up when I’m at work. 

I started in this role at sixteen (I am now eighteen), which was probably a questionable decision on management’s part but hey I’ll take a promotion. I had this interaction last week:

Patron: “Oh are you one of the swim instructors?”

Me: “No but I’m the Head Instructor Guard so I supervise lessons, how can I help?”

Patron: “There’s no way you’re the supervisor; you look like a child! You should be in swimming lessons as a student.”

Me: *Awkwardly laughs.* “Well I can assure you that I’m the supervisor and an adult.”

Patron: “No you aren’t.” *Walks away.*

I just looked at reception like “did that really happen?” He didn’t even end up asking me a question before he left.