(I am being served at the till and the cashier is putting my things through when I realise the time and I stand still.)

Cashier: “That will be [amount], miss.” *when I don’t say anything* “Miss?” *to herself, but loud enough for me to hear* “Bloody rude b****.” *some seconds later* “Excuse me, you’re holding up the line.” *she leans near me and snaps her fingers quite rudely* “Self-entitled whore.” *to the next customer* “Some people, eh? Just looking at their phones and not paying attention to anything around them. Come through; let me help you. I’m refunding her shopping.”

(The customer comes past me, a little confused. I see him look at me, seemingly concerned in case I’m sick or something. Then I snap out of it.)

Me: “Can I pay now, please?”

Cashier: *snottily* “Er, no! You should have listened to me when I said so. Now you’re going to have to pay in another queue, since I refunded your transaction.” *smiles nastily* “Have a nice day.”

Me: “It’s Armistice Day. I was honouring our fallen dead with the two-minute silence. But that doesn’t matter, since I’m never coming here again.”

(I filed a complaint. I have never been back.)

(I get a coupon in the mail that allows me to get $5 off an animated DVD. I decide to pick it up while grocery shopping. Because of my husband’s pay schedule, I can only buy groceries once every six weeks, which means I have to buy enough food and supplies to last us that long. It’s not an easy thing to do with a newborn in diapers and a toddler. I get two carts up to the check out, pushing one cart with the toddler in it and pulling the other with the baby. The poor cashier has a hard time because I have so many coupons, including several buy-one-get-one coupons that require the price of the item to be written in. Finally, after 25 minutes, we get everything paid for and someone helps me take the bags out to my car. When I get home and look over my receipt, I see I was not charged the $20 for the DVD, but did have the $5 coupon applied to my total. I call the store and get the manager.)

Me: “Hi, I was in earlier today buying groceries. I bought a DVD with a coupon. The problem is that the cashier took the $5 off the bill, but she never charged me for the DVD. I know it was because she was distracted by me talking to her and by all my coupons. I can come in and pay for it, but I won’t be on that side of town for another six weeks, and I can’t afford the gas right now. Can I mail you a check?”

Manager: “…”

Me: “Um, hello? Are you still there?”

Manager: “Yeah, sorry; you kind of threw me off. I have never had anyone actually call me with this offer. Most people just steal the DVDs. Tell you what: why don’t you just keep the DVD as a gift, but let me know which one it is so I can take it out of stock?”

Me: “Really?! Oh, thank you! Are you sure?”

Manager: “Lady, it would be my pleasure. And the manager that is sitting next to me listening to the whole conversation agrees.”

(Honesty is the best policy.)

(Windows 95 has just come out. I am working in IT for an engineering firm. We are upgrading all computers to Windows 95 and I am walking around, checking that everyone is logged on and working okay, when I get called over by one of the engineers.)

Engineer: “Can I ask you a quick question?”

Me: “Of course!”

Engineer: “See that Recycle Bin?” *pointing to the screen*

Me: “Yeah?”

Engineer: “Does someone come round and empty it?”

(I’m a digital artist and thus have a graphic tablet with its respective pencil. One day the tip of the pencil gives out and I’m forced to buy a new one.)

Shop Clerk: “Hi! What can I help you with?”

Me: “I’m looking for a new tip for my tablet’s pencil. I brought it with me so I can see which will work.”

Shop Clerk: “Hmm… Let me see it.”

(I hand her my pencil and shortly after she hands it back.)

Shop Clerk: “Is your tablet from [Brand]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Shop Clerk: “Ah, here’s the thing. Assuming your tablet was brand new when you got it, did it come with a support for the pencil?”

Me: “Yes, and I still use it, but why?”

Shop Clerk: “That’s the thing; if you unscrew the bottom of that support there should be about a dozen replacement tips.”

Me: “What? Really?”

Shop Clerk: “It says so on the manual, I guess. Now you can make that pencil last.”

Me: “Hold on; by telling me this you just lost a sale.”

Shop Clerk: *shrugs* “Yeah, it’s not like my boss will make a fuss for a tip. Plus if I didn’t tell you I’d feel bad for practically scamming you.”

(I was very thankful so I bought a new mouse for my computer. Now she didn’t actually lose a sale!)

(I’ve been working at [Retailer] for about two months. One morning, I wake up feeling like death and unable to speak because my throat is so swollen. I’m supposed to be working this morning, so I ask my mum to call in for me, which she does. I can hear my mum’s side of the conversation, and a bit of what the manager is saying.)

Mum: “Hi, this is [My Name]’s mother. I’m afraid she’s unwell today and can’t come in, but she has a doctor’s appointment booked. Also, she cannot speak, so I’m calling on her behalf.”

Boss: *in a somewhat sarcastic voice* “Well, I’m sure she can handle calling me herself.”

Mum: “But like I said, she can’t speak. That’s why I’m calling for her.”

Boss: “Well, that’s just tough!” *hangs up*

Mum: *puts her head round the door with a shocked and now angry expression* “Can you believe that? He just hung up on me!”

(She called him back and told him how rude he was to hang up on her. His response? He hung up again. I didn’t work there for much longer.)