Arachnocculophobia
(Towards the end of a seven-hour shift standing under speakers blasting music, my hearing is a bit out of whack.)
Me: “Hey, [Manager], what was it you were saying about dead spider glasses?”
Manager: “Nothing, hopefully. I said I’d managed to find a place for that last red spiral glass.”
(Later, I answer a call from a customer whose enunciation isn’t the clearest.)
Me: *to my manager and a nearby coworker, after I’ve placed the customer on hold* “Do either of you know if we carry Candy Cane Nectarine Holders?”
Coworker: “Nectarine holders?”
Manager: “Try napkin rings.”
(I check on the candy cane napkin rings. We don’t have any either in our store, online, or in the local area, so I take the customer off hold to let her know.)
Me: “I figure, either way, we didn’t have what she was looking for, so I wasn’t lying per se.”
Manager: “Go home.”