I work in southwest Florida on the beach. Right now, we are closed, as the hotel is completely unlivable due to a hurricane. However, I’m working overnight security, keeping the riffraff away.

I’m sitting in my “guard shack” watching a movie, and a car drives up. That’s not unusual. It’s midnight, but there are still a lot of FEMA workers, state, county, and city officials, police, and contractors running around. The person in this car is none of the above.

Tourist: “Hi, I’m looking to check in.”

Me: “You’re kidding, right?”

I’m hoping this is a FEMA guy messing with me.

Tourist: “I have a reservation.”

I look back at the ruins of the hotel.

Me: “Ah, we canceled all reservations before the storm. Hotel’s closed.”

Tourist: “But I have a reservation.”

Me: “Sir, I don’t care. The building is unsafe, and even if it was safe, I have no way of checking you in.”

Tourist: *Getting angry* “I have a reservation; you have to check me in! I want to speak you your supervisor.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m just gonna call a deputy to escort you off the island if you don’t leave.”

Tourist: “Fine!”

He proceeds to sit there. I call for a deputy, who shows up right quick; they’re crawling all over the island looking for looters.

Tourist: “He won’t check me in!” *Points at me*

Deputy: “Sir, are you stupid? You’re not even supposed to be allowed here. You’re either going to follow me out or I’ll arrest you for trespassing.”

Long story short, the tourist didn’t argue with the sheriff’s deputy, although I kind of wish he had; I kind of wanted to see him get tased. The tourist begrudgingly followed the deputy away.

We’re at the tail-end of a week-long heatwave here in the wonderful state of New Jersey. High temperatures are between 95 and 101F (about 35 to 38C), and the humidity is so thick you need SCUBA gear to walk to your car.

One of our new hires is actually from southern Alaska, and while it’s not the wasteland of the northern parts, he is NOT used to this sort of heat.

We’re sitting around the lunch room, discussing how glad we are that the central AC for the office was just fixed, when the new guy gets up to throw out his trash and glances out the window.

New Guy: “Uhh… Why is the parking lot on fire?!”

This triggers a few panicked folks running to the windows, followed promptly by laughter. I put my arm around his shoulder.

Me: “Well, [New Guy], you ever hear the phrase, ‘so hot you can cook an egg on the asphalt’? That’s what happens when the phrase is literal, and then we get a little afternoon shower.”

Sure enough, there had been a little five-minute bit of rain before, just enough to leave a thin, wet coating on a scorching hot parking lot that quickly steamed away when the sun came back out.

New Guy: “How… do you all live like this… on a normal basis?”

Three of us, almost in sync:

Us: “AIR CONDITIONING.”

Today is a windy day. A coworker and I are putting up flyers for a building event. We have quite a few in a small box, one for each elevator lobby, each exterior door, etc. I partially tape one flyer on the front door while my coworker and I chat idly, and as I go for the tape to complete the flyer, an employee from another office cuts in with a hasty, “Excuse me, sorry,” and throws the door open all the way to go outside.

The wind pushes into the lobby, ripping the flyer I have been putting up off the glass and sending the rest of them shooting out of the box across God’s creation.

The employee just trots away without addressing the chaos she has just unleashed because she didn’t want to wait a literal fraction of a second for me to put down the second piece of tape. It’s worth noting that only six feet to the right there is another set of doors.

Coworker: “I hate people.” 

Me: “Understandable.”

I was working in a superstore about six years ago when we had a MASSIVE thunderstorm on December 23rd that knocked out power for several hours. When our power gets knocked off, we only have about twenty minutes on backup power to run the registers. As soon as the power went off and stayed off, management shut the doors and wouldn’t let anyone in. All customers were ushered to the front of the store to check out immediately; otherwise, they would have to leave their items.

They called all register-trained associates to check out the customers. We got almost everyone checked out except for a handful of customers. One was pretty upset since she couldn’t check out her child’s birthday cake that she had ordered. We felt awful for her!

The power was off for about five hours; it was nighttime by the time it was restored. I will say that the store never looked better because all the associates pitched in to organize and tidy the store up. However, we still had customers pound on the door wanting to be let in!

Various Customers: “I have to buy stuff for Christmas! WHY AREN’T YOU OPEN?!”

I’m not sure where they had been for the last five hours, considering almost the entire city lost power lol. The power was restored, thankfully, but then we got SLAMMED by customers.

The next day was even worse! I worked the early shift on register and so many customers were pissy because of how busy we were and how long our lines were, despite having every register open.

I was trying to close my line because my replacement didn’t show up that day; I even stayed an hour over and they kept coming. My assistant manager had to stand at the end of my lane to redirect customers to another lane, and then they started yelling at him. I never ran out of that building so fast in my life when I finally managed to clock out!

One early winter morning, I’m walking into work. It’s slightly before 6:00 am, and it’s still dark and quite chilly out. As I’m walking in, I see one of my coworkers sitting in his car.

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], good morning! How you doing?”

Coworker: “[My Name], tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t call the boss right now and tell him I’m sick and then go back home and sleep.”

Me: “All I’ve got is that you already spent the time and energy to wake up, get dressed, and drive over here. Otherwise, I’d be right there with you.”

Coworker: *Sighs* “Yeah, you’re right.”