I Hope You Like Your Eggs Steam-Poached

We’re at the tail-end of a week-long heatwave here in the wonderful state of New Jersey. High temperatures are between 95 and 101F (about 35 to 38C), and the humidity is so thick you need SCUBA gear to walk to your car.

One of our new hires is actually from southern Alaska, and while it’s not the wasteland of the northern parts, he is NOT used to this sort of heat.

We’re sitting around the lunch room, discussing how glad we are that the central AC for the office was just fixed, when the new guy gets up to throw out his trash and glances out the window.

New Guy: “Uhh… Why is the parking lot on fire?!”

This triggers a few panicked folks running to the windows, followed promptly by laughter. I put my arm around his shoulder.

Me: “Well, [New Guy], you ever hear the phrase, ‘so hot you can cook an egg on the asphalt’? That’s what happens when the phrase is literal, and then we get a little afternoon shower.”

Sure enough, there had been a little five-minute bit of rain before, just enough to leave a thin, wet coating on a scorching hot parking lot that quickly steamed away when the sun came back out.

New Guy: “How… do you all live like this… on a normal basis?”

Three of us, almost in sync:

Us: “AIR CONDITIONING.”