It’s a small staff and my boss and coworkers are almost all out of the office, so even though I’m relatively new to the working world, I’m the most senior employee in the back office at the moment. A young man huffs and puffs into my doorway and approaches my desk.

Customer: *Rolling his eyes* “Your box office seller is new. Ugh. He didn’t recognize me, and I need to get my employee discount for tickets for [Upcoming Performance].”

Me: “He’s not new, and I don’t recognize you, either.”

Customer: “How dare you?! I’m an usher!”

Since I work in the back office, I suppose that this guy is on the roster to work an occasional shift and I just haven’t met him yet.

Me: “Um, we don’t actually have an employee discount at the box office. You either work the show or…”

Customer: *Scoffing* “Well, then, put me on the schedule to work the show!”

Me: “The… house manager manages the usher schedule. Not the marketing department.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can’t believe you won’t help me! Let me talk to [Former Executive Director]!”

My eyebrow shoots up.

Me: “Sir. She resigned three years ago. You say you’re a current employee?”

Customer: “Um, I guess it’s been a little while since I worked a show… Three years? Really?”

Me: “Yup.”

It is 2013. A customer has come in to trade in a Nintendo DS Lite and several games. I am finishing up his transaction.

Customer: “So, this is a PS3, right?”

Me: “What is, sir?”

Customer: “This thing that I’m trading in. Isn’t it a PS3?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a Nintendo DS.”

Customer: “Oh. The PS3 is the latest version, then.”

Me: “You’re thinking of the 3DS. The PS3 is the large black system over there.”

Customer: “Oh, so, that one that says it comes with The Walking Dead and is $199 is the 3DS?”

Me: “That’s the PlayStation Vita. The 3DS is the one above it.”

Customer: “Oh. What’s the Vita?”

Me: “It’s the handheld gaming system from Sony that—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Do you think I should get one?”

Please, if you don’t know what something is, don’t just spend $200 on it.

I work graveyard shift for a statewide chain of convenience stores/truck stops that has an affiliation with a much larger national chain. This larger chain has a rewards program that includes a free shower for every set number of gallons of fuel purchased, and we are able to redeem the showers which are automatically loaded onto the customer’s loyalty card when they pay for the fuel.

Customer: “I would like a shower.”

He hands over his card to be swiped. After swiping the card:

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you have no showers left on your card.”

Customer: “That is not possible. I fueled in [Other City With National Chain] and had one shower on the card.”

Me: “Sir, our system shows that there are no showers left on the card. Did you use the shower when you fueled at [Prior Location]?”

Customer: “No. I have one shower on the card. I will get the receipt.”

He runs off and comes back a few minutes later with a receipt printed from the national chain’s kiosk. This kiosk can provide receipts up to a week back.

Me: “Sir, have you fueled since four days ago?”

Customer: “No. It says here I have one shower, so give me my shower.”

At this point, one of the assistant managers has come in and overhears the conversation.

Assistant Manager: “Sir, this receipt is from four days ago. You have nothing to prove that you have not redeemed the shower in that time, and our system, which is tied in with [National Chain]’s system, says that there are no showers on your card. If you believe that this is wrong, then call the customer support number on the back of the card, but we can do nothing for you.”

Customer: “No! It says right here!” *Points at the receipt* “I have one shower. I just printed this receipt from the kiosk!”

Assistant Manager: “This receipt is also from four days ago. It shows what you had then but not what you have now.”

The conversation continues like this for several more minutes until the customer finally relents and calls the service number.

Me: “I’m not sure which is worse: him trying to get a free shower, or if he was not lying, him not showering for four days.”

This happens about forty years ago, when my dad is a grad student and my mom is working at a fast-food restaurant. There is a middle-aged woman that has been sitting at a table studying for several hours. After refilling her coffee for the umpteenth time, my mom approaches her to tell her that they are closing soon.

Woman: “I’m sorry. I’m just so confused. I have a math test tomorrow, but I don’t have a clue.”

Mom: “My husband is really good at math. He can help you. Here’s my address, and I’ll call him to let him know you’re coming.”

Woman: “Thanks so much!”

My mom finishes up closing the store in the early hours of the morning and goes straight to bed. The next morning, she gets up and talks to my dad.

Dad: “I’m tired. I was up really late helping your friend. How do you know her, anyway?”

Mom: “I don’t.”

Dad: “What?! You don’t know her?!”

The lady shows up at the fast-food restaurant the next afternoon with a fruit basket.

Woman: “Thank you so much! I haven’t gotten my grade yet, but I think I passed.”

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for September 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for September 2020!

I am an engineer at a TV station, and occasionally we get calls from viewers who have reception problems. Some of the calls are beyond strange, like this from a number of years ago.

Caller: “I’m having trouble watching Donahue.”

Me: “I’m sorry… but we don’t carry Donahue any longer; we run Oprah now.”

Caller: “I know that.”

Me: “Is the problem with Oprah or with Donahue?”

Caller: “Donahue! It won’t come in.”

Me: “Okay, [Other Channel] carries Donahue.”

Caller: “I KNOW THAT! YOU NEED TO FIX IT NOW!”

Me: “You’ll need to talk to someone at [Other Channel], since they carry the Donahue show.”

Caller: “NO, YOU FIX IT RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need to call [Other Channel]. I can give you their number.”

Caller: “No, I called you.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything about [Other Channel]. Why don’t you give them a call?”

Caller: “Their phone’s busy.”

I wish this sort of thing was unusual.

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Network Not Work