Marketplace Disgrace

, , , , | Working | October 18, 2018

Me: “I’ll have the turkey, lettuce, and avocado sandwich, please.”

(The employee makes my sandwich and writes the cost for a turkey sandwich, extra for avocado, on the wrapper.)

Me: “This is a ‘Marketplace sandwich,’ without the Swiss cheese. Why are you charging more?”

Employee: “How did you order it? Did you order a Marketplace sandwich?”

Me: “No. I see what happened. I ordered the components… but it’s exactly the same, except the cheese.”

Employee: “You should have ordered a Marketplace sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, yes, I understand, but can’t you just rewrite the price?”

Employee: “I can’t charge you for a Marketplace sandwich if you didn’t order one.”

Me: “But it’s the same thing.”

(The employee then THREW AWAY THE SANDWICH and proceeded to make a Marketplace. I was speechless.)

Guarding His Insecurities

, , , , , | Working | August 22, 2018

(My older sister and I are visiting the various monuments and sights of Washington DC. Today we are at an art museum, and my sister happily chats with the security as we go through their metal detector and such. We are about fifteen minutes into the visit, looking at a section which displays “The Art of War,” including items such as weapons and armor. While looking at an amazingly decorated shield, this happens:)

Sister: “Ooh, wow! This is amazing. [My Name], let’s get a picture.”

(As she is taking out her camera, a security guard loudly clears his throat to catch our attention. He points at small sign on the entryway to the room, about the size of a large index card, at waist-height that says, “Please, no photography.”)

Guard #1: “You can’t take any pictures.”

Sister: “Oh, I’m sorr—”

Guard #1: *condescendingly* “Can’t you read?”

(My sister has moderate to severe dyslexia and always struggled with reading in school, so this statement really gets to her. Disheartened, she puts her camera away and starts to leave.)

Sister: *quietly to me* “Let’s go. I don’t want to stay anymore.”

(While I’m usually non-confrontational, this situation has emboldened me, so I approach the guard.)

Sister: *louder* “[My Name], please, let’s just leave.”

(I stop, but can’t help but the notice that the guard is smiling smugly. I take note of his name-tag. As we leave, the security personnel we chatted with at the entrance comments:)

Guard #2: “Hey! Leaving so early?”

Sister: *purposefully leaves without speaking*

Me: “I’m afraid [Guard #1] killed our interest.”

(The second guard’s face turned sour; it seemed to me that they’d had issues before. The rest of the trip was amazing, but we never went to another art museum.)

Cultural Mansplaining

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(Four Caucasian customers enter the restaurant and get promptly seated. They are served immediately by the restaurant’s Chinese staff and place orders. One customer has spent some years in Beijing.)

Caucasian Customer: “…and white rice for everyone, please.”

(Moments later, when dishes are brought out:)

Chinese Server: “Here is a bowl of rice for you all.”

Caucasian Customer: “Uh, pardon me, but shouldn’t we each get a small bowl of rice rather than a giant bowl for us to share?”

Chinese Server: “I’m sorry, but our restaurant policy is for a large, shareable bowl for parties of three or more. However, I can go back and bring you guys each a separate bowl of rice, if you’d like.”

Caucasian Customer: “No. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just surprised that you guys don’t give separate bowls of rice by default.”

Chinese Server: “I’d be happy to—”

Caucasian Customer: “No, that’s okay. I just want you to know that it’s how rice is served in China.”

Acting Like Such A Queen

, , , , , | Working | August 7, 2018

(I am at a coffee shop. I have already gotten my order and am sitting at a table with my headphones on low.)

Barista: “Order for Elizabeth!”

(A minute passes.)

Barista: “Elizabeth, hello! Order for Elizabeth!”

(I glance up to see the barista shaking her head and no one getting the drink. Another minute passes, then I gasp as someone pulls one ear of my headphones off.)

Barista: “Hey! I said order for Elizabeth!”

Me: “I’m not Elizabeth… and I have my drink.”

Barista: *grumpily walking away* “B**** looks like an Elizabeth.”

I Just Don’t Have The Words

, , , | Right | July 12, 2018

(I’m the stupid customer in this one. In my defense, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night, packed a bag, driven to the airport, parked in long-term parking, taken a shuttle, passed through security, and walked to my gate, all without saying anything to anyone. I’ve been awake for at least four hours today without saying a word, which, if you think about it, doesn’t happen often. I stand in line at a breakfast kiosk, preparing for the first words to come out of my mouth that day: “I’ll have a cinnamon raisin bagel, please.”)

Me: “Cinnamon ragel.”

(I then stared at the employee, expectantly, wondering why he didn’t understand my request of “cinnamon ragel.”)

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