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Unrelated Yet Berated

, , , , , , | Right | January 17, 2022

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I have a complaint about room [number].”

Me: “I’m sorry, you meant to call [Hotel of the same name]. We’re actually unrelated.”

Caller: “Can you transfer me to the hotel?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re separate companies; I can’t help you.”

Caller: “Just transfer me. I have bed bugs in my room! Someone needs to fix this!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re different companies.”

Caller: “YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!”

Me: *Sighs* “Okay…”

Caller: *Hangs up*

Don’t Copy This Scam Again!

, , , , , | Legal | January 8, 2022

I work the phones at our small company. Because we are a business, we have typical things like copy machines. A call comes in asking for the model number of our copy machine so they can send us the toner. This is a scam where they ask for the model number, send out toner to our office at two times the cost, and bill us.

We also already have extra toner from when the machine was serviced last week. We also have a contract with the company that sold the copy machine to us, so I know this is fake. However, I decide to play along.

Scammer: “We just need the model number of your copier so we can send you the toner.”

Me: “Shouldn’t you have that already?”

Scammer: “Yes, we have the serial number but not the model number.”

Me: “If you have a serial number, then shouldn’t you be able to figure out what the model number is from the contract? Can you give me the serial number?”

Scammer: “Shut up, you f****** a**hole.” *Hangs up*

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Both In Line And Out Of Line

, , , | Right | January 3, 2022

I go to a wonderful bakery to pick up breakfast for my family. This bakery is very long and thin, with a line that snakes along a long counter, a door to the sidewalk in the front, and a door to the parking lot in the back.

I enter from the back door, working my way backward along the line until I see that today the line is long enough that it winds all the way out the front door and down the block. I go to the back of the line, and after about ten minutes, the line has advanced enough that I’m now just inside the front door.

While I’m standing there, [Customer #1] appears to be doing the same thing I did: she came in the back door, and she’s walking backward next to the line to find the end of it. But instead of exiting the front door and joining the sidewalk queue, she gets in line right behind me, since I’m at the end of the indoor portion of the line. It’s an easy enough mistake.

Me: “Oh, sorry, this isn’t the end of the line. It goes out the door and down the block.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, but I’ve been waiting for ten minutes already! I was waiting inside, and they told me to go over here!”

It’s possible that she was waiting at some random spot, maybe the coffee pickup zone inside, thinking it was the right place, and the staff didn’t notice her for a while. I feel slightly bad that she wasted time standing in not-a-line, but all the same, it’s pretty arbitrary to then say that your mistake entitles you to join the line in a random spot.

By this time, the customer who was originally behind me in line (and who is now two spaces behind me) has come in the front door and has heard the conversation. [Customer #1]’s behavior affects her more than me because [Customer #1] technically cut in front of her, but behind me.

Customer #2: “Yes, but they were probably pointing you to the end of the line, and that’s outside.”

Customer #1: “But I’ve been waiting for ten minutes!”

Me: “We all have. So have some of the people outside.”

At this point, the man who’s been standing in front of me the whole time, [Customer #3], speaks up.

Customer #3: “It’s okay. She’s with me.”

Me: “Oh. Uh… okay. Then I guess that’s fine.”

[Customer #1] smiles and cuts in front of me, happily joining [Customer #3]. I mean, if he’d been holding her place in line, it’s probably not a big deal if she joins him… though it is weird that she tried to cut elsewhere in the line instead of joining [Customer #3] to begin with.

And, as I suspected, it soon becomes clear from overhearing their conversation that these two customers either don’t know each other at all or are at best distant acquaintances who did not plan to go to the bakery together. The last straw is when they place their orders — two separate orders. Clearly, [Customer #3] thought he was generously doing [Customer #1] a favor by pretending she was with him.

As I’m leaving, [Customer #2] turns to me.

Customer #2: “That was bulls***, wasn’t it?”

Me: “Yup.”

Completely Uninterested In ANYTHING You’re Sharing

, , , , , | Working | October 26, 2021

It’s a few months into the health crisis, and I’m at home with my family for the evening. The doorbell rings. I look outside — the upper half of my front door is normal transparent glass — and there’s a man standing there, maskless. My best guess is that he either wants to sell me something or ask me to sign a petition, but at this point, I don’t feel comfortable sharing air with a stranger, so I give him a little smile and wave but I don’t open the door.

He begins shouting through the door.

Salesman: “Hi, how are you this evening?”

Me: *Shouting back* “Good, thanks! Sorry, I’m not opening the door right now, but can I help you?”

Salesman: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, I’m not really comfortable doing that! Can I help you?”

Salesman: “Man, you’re lame as h***.”

He then walked away before I could find out what he wanted. Good thing for him, too, because if I knew what company or organization he was working for, I probably would have given them a call about him.

Don’t Grill Them Over The Chicken

, , , , , , | Working | September 27, 2021

While living in the DC Metro area, we have out-of-town visitors in to see the sights. We spend one day shopping and gawking in the Georgetown area. When lunchtime arrives, we find an out-of-the-way bistro that doesn’t have an excessive wait time and where the prices (as compared to many upscale Georgetown eateries) are not outrageous.

We all order drinks, appetizers, and full-sized meals. I select a grilled chicken breast. As anyone who has ever grilled chicken knows, the thickness of a chicken breast varies, so it is hard to get the main part fully cooked without the thin outer edge becoming overcooked.

I clean my plate but leave a small amount of the charred edge of the chicken.

Waitress: “Was the chicken not cooked to your liking?”

Me: “No, it was fine. I’d rather have the main part well cooked, even if the edge was overdone.”

Waitress: “I’m terribly sorry for that, sir. I’ll speak to the chef to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.”

Me: “Please don’t. Everything was delicious, and I wouldn’t have expected anything different. It really wasn’t a problem.”

Less than two minutes later:

Manager: “I’m the restaurant manager, and I’d like to apologize for your meal not being served perfectly.”

Me: “Think nothing of it! Everything was excellent and all of us were completely satisfied with everything that we had. We have no complaints or concerns about anything.”

Manager: “You’re being too kind, sir. We strive to meet very high standards here, and we won’t accept anything less for any customer’s experience. I’ve removed your lunch charge from the bill, and I’d like to provide your entire party with dessert as a way to make amends for this problem.”

Me: “Honestly, that really isn’t necessary. Everything was wonderful and we’re all really happy that we found this place. There is no need for you to make adjustments for something that we didn’t see as a problem.”

Manager: “Thank you for your kindness. I hope that you’ll come back again sometime so we can prove that we can do things properly.”

When the check came, ALL of my charges — drinks, appetizer, and main meal — had been removed from the bill. That restaurant became our go-to location for visitors, special occasions, and even for business meals. I recommended it to my sales team for their use with customers. By the time I was transferred to a new location, I’m sure that their $100 fix to a non-existent problem had netted them over $10,000 from my business alone.