You Can’t Handle The Truth

, , , , | Working | May 14, 2019

(I am getting ready to move to another city, and I am cancelling my utilities at the old place and setting stuff up at the new place. I have saved the cable company for last, as I want to drop their service entirely and go with someone else, and said cable company has just been in the news for being unbelievably difficult to deal with when cancelling service. Warily, I call customer service and tell them I want to cancel. Of course, I get transferred to a customer retention operator.)

Me: “Yes, I need to cancel my service as I’m moving to another city.”

Operator: “May I ask where you’re moving to?”

Me: *names city in another part of the state*

Operator: “Oh, well, we also serve that area! You can just have your service moved!”

Me: “Well, I really need to cancel.”

Operator: “You’ll be able to keep the same service there!”

Me: *having a sudden blast of inspiration* “Well, you see, I’m moving in with someone else… and they already have cable set up, so there’s no reason for me to move it or keep it!”

Operator: *pauses* “All right, then, let’s get your service cancelled!”

(And then cancellation was like a breeze. In retrospect, the guy probably wasn’t fooled, but it probably gave him a good reason to just go ahead with cancellation rather than having to pressure another customer to stay. Yes, I was lying. Usually I prefer to be honest with people, but in this case, after a much-publicized case of them high-pressuring customers to stay with them, I think I was justified.)

Unfiltered Story #148677

, , | | Unfiltered | May 2, 2019

(Customer walks up to my till on his phone

Me: Hi! What can I get for you today?

Customer: *mumbling* Americano.

Me: Sure! What size can I get that in for you today?

Customer: *a bit irritated* I said an Americano!

Me: Okay, but what size, sir?

Customer: *hangs up phone, and snaps* I SAID I want an Americano! An Americano is shots of espresso in water!

Me: *slowly* Sir, I understand that you ordered an Americano, and I know what an Americano is. I just would like to know what size I can get you so I can place your drink in the queue

Custome: *hangs up his phone and replies, embarrassed* Oh…grande…

Me: Thank you. Your total will be [total].

(He pays and rushes out after he received his drink)

Will Have To Decline In View Of Your Terrible Geography

, , , , , | Right | April 17, 2019

(I work for a large hotel company that has many locations. The hotel where I work is in downtown Washington, DC. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello! My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hello. I’d like to make a booking for a room with an ocean and beach view.”

Me: “Oh, this is actually [Hotel] in Washington, DC. Did you mean to call a different location?”

Caller: “No, I’m calling [Hotel] in Washington, DC.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but there’s no ocean in Washington, DC.”

(A couple of my coworkers turn around to look at me with raised eyebrows when I say this.)

Caller: “Oh, well just any view, then, I guess.”

A Kindness Souvenir

, , , , | Hopeless | April 16, 2019

I have flown to Washington DC with my grandma to meet my aunt. I am returning home by plane, as my home is over a thousand miles away. As a minor — I turned fifteen a month ago — I can bring in my relatively small suitcase, but I run into a problem at the security checkpoint where the fluid in my suitcase — a souvenir — is a problem, and I will have to check in the luggage. Okay, no problem.

I make my way back and notice my grandma, who has watched me through the security checkpoint, has already left before the problem and is most likely currently going through security at her own gate. My aunt dropped us off but did not come in with us.

I head over to the check-in service and wait in line, before finally coming up to the nice lady manning the station. I’m socially anxious, as well as hard of hearing — I wear hearing aids — so it takes quite a while for me to understand and do everything; this is my first time doing it without parental help. She tells me it will be a $20 fee.

My mother has given me my personal debit card and has told me to never let my balance go below $10. However, I have spent quite a bit on souvenirs, bringing the total on my debit card to $12. I do not know this, so I hand her the debit card and it is declined. Slowly, it starts to sink in that I do not have enough money. I’m starting to panic and start texting my mom. Again, being socially anxious plus hard of hearing means I can’t hear my mom over the phone.

A few minutes later, she hasn’t texted me. I’m just awkwardly smiling at the other passerby while trying so very hard not to cry. She finally texts me, and my heart plummets when I read it. She can’t transfer money to my debit card.

I don’t want to bother my grandma to come back through security. I don’t have any change. And I’m currently a thousand miles away from home with no way getting there. I start crying, trying to cover up my tears, and sobbing and apologizing profusely to the lady. She’s offering a smile but it’s hopeless; I can’t get back. I can’t get rid of the souvenir, either, because my grandma got it for me, and it included some other things.

All a sudden, the lady working in the next booth over speaks up and pays for it — all $20. I honestly can’t remember what happened because it was all such a haze, but I was either too dumbfounded to utter a thank-you that sounded sincere or was thanking her non-stop.

Thanks to that lady, whom I can honestly not thank enough, I got home safely. I will always forever be grateful for her, and even as I’m writing this, I’m fighting back tears. She has my undying thanks. I wish I could find her and pay her back the $20.

After the ordeal, my mom and I have vowed I will now keep at least $30 in my debit account, working to make $100 in there and keeping it in there.

“Thou Shalt Not Steal” But Only Written In Crayon

, , , , , | Learning | March 25, 2019

(I am covering a first-grade classroom in a lower-income school. Most of the kids are from low-income families who struggle. The average child is from a broken home or from a single mother with kids from multiple fathers. A student, crying, runs up to me. She tells me another student has taken her pencil box and all her crayons. Each student has a box with their names on it. On top of that, this girl’s crayon box in the pencil box is labelled with her name. I call the other student over.)

Me: “Hey, [Student #2], did you take crayons out of [Student #1]’s pencil box?”

Student #2: “Yes.”

Me: “[Student #2], you need to give them back. They are not your crayons; they belong to her.”

Student #2: “No, I will not. They are mine. It is fair.”

Me: “No, you took them from her. That is not fair. Where are your crayons?”

Student #2: “I broke them.”

Me: “Why?”

Student #2: “I like hers better, so I broke mine so I’d have to throw them out.”

Me: “That is wrong. You do not take things that belong to other people just because you like them better.”

Student #2: “That’s not what my momma told me. She said that because we are poor, it is the job of people who have nicer things than we do to give us their stuff. That is what is fair. So, I broke my crayons because they are not nice, and I took [Student #1]’s crayons because she has to give me what she has if it is nicer, so it is fair.”

Me: “But how do you know how [Student #1] lives? She is in the same neighborhood as we are. Did you think maybe her mommy worked hard to get her those crayons? Is it fair for her mommy to have to buy her more crayons because you want them?”

([Student #1] is from a struggling family who makes a lot of sacrifices so their kids have what they need for school on a regular basis).  

Student #2: “Yup, and that is why she needs to give me them. Her mommy can buy her more crayons. My mommy said it is only fair and I can take what I need in class.”

(I told her she was not to take things that were not hers again and made her return the crayons. I left a message for the main teacher. I came to find out that this student used this excuse to steal things from other students all the time. When the issues were raised to her mother, the answer was, “Well, maybe the other kids should bring in sh**ty things so my kid does not feel bad. If she needs something she can just take it.”)

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