Sounds Like A Heavy User

, , , | Right | September 11, 2018

(I work at an alternative smoke shop. We sell glass pipes among other things, and I always ask if people would like their smaller pieces wrapped to save bubble wrap.)

Me: “Would you like me to wrap that up for you?”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter. Why do you ask?”

Me: “Sometimes people prefer to not waste the packaging. You know, save the dolphins.” *trying to be humorous, as it’s a hippy store*

Customer: “Oh.” *stares blankly with the pipe in her hand*

Me: “So would you like that wrapped up?”

Customer: “Uh… yeah.”

Me: “Okay.” *slightly stunned*

(I wrapped up the pipe and she left.)

We Eat Complainers Like You For Breakfast

, , , , , , | Right | September 5, 2018

(A guest is mad because our rates went up during the busy season but any other hotel would have meant at least an hour drive so he takes my last room.)

Me: “So if you drive toward the McDonald’s you’ll see a turn in to our back lot. Just go in door four and you are right there!”

Guest: “I still think your rates are too high!” *I just smile because he is already getting discounts* “But is your breakfast at least free?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we have a great breakfast from 6 to 10 am right down here.”

Guest: “Well, then, I will come down and eat ALL your food. How about that?”

Me: “We do hope you enjoy the breakfast.”

(He made it to his car and headed toward the back lot before I started laughing, but it was close.)

Chairs Up, Standards Down

, , , , , | Working | September 3, 2018

(I work in a hotel. We’ve just renovated some rooms, and management has asked us to sleep in them for a night so we can talk about the improvements first hand. My coworker has decided to use his night to get VERY drunk. When he gets back to the hotel, I’m working on getting the floor swept and washed before breakfast. He works the overnight shift, same as I do.)

Coworker: “Why are the chairs up?”

Me: “So I can sweep and mop.”

(He’s been working this shift for a few months at this point, and this is part of every overnight shift.)

Coworker: “Why? It always looks clean to me.”

(He then stumbled off to his room and I made a note to talk to my manager to have some retraining done. It didn’t stick, and he didn’t last.)

Unfiltered Story #117767

, , | Unfiltered | July 28, 2018

Our breakfast starts at six am and it is six ten. We have a conveyor type toaster. Since we are full, I’m working front desk while another woman handles the breakfast room. She is normally very soft spoken, so when I hear her almost yelling I come running.

Coworker – [My name] FIRE!

I grab the extinguisher and run in. Out of the toaster pops a paper bowl on fire. Instead of using the extinguisher and shutting down the area I dump it into a bowl of water. A guest is standing to one side giggling.

Me (barely staying polite) – Why would you put a paper bowl through the toaster?! The sign says bread and English muffins only!

Guest – I don’t know (giggles).

Me – That is a $400 toaster! If you break it that way, you would have to replace it and we have cameras.

The guest stopped giggling and ran out of the room.

Coworker – Sorry, I didn’t see him put it in.

Me – It is not your fault. It’s going to be a long four hours huh?

Your Shut-Down Just Got Shut Down

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2018

(I work in a hotel. It is during the United States government shutdown. A guest comes in with a prepaid reservation.)

Me: “If I could see your ID and a card in case of incidentals, I can get you checked right in.”

Guest: “What form of ID? Can I use my work ID?”

Me: “It needs to be a government-issued, photo ID, sir.”

Guest: “But the government is shut down!”

(He is grinning like a five-year-old and his wife is rolling her eyes. I can also see his license in his hand.)

Me: “Only federal, sir, and since your driver’s license is state-issued, I’ll just use the one in your hand.”

(He fake pouts, and his wife rolls her eyes so hard I think she might hurt herself.)

Wife: “He’s been doing this at every hotel for the past five nights!”

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