Across Sea And Land

, , , , | Right | November 13, 2019

(I work in a hotel.)

Guest: “Can I store some things in your freezer?”

Me: “We do have some space, not a lot, but we can fit a few things.”

(We don’t even have a real kitchen since we only do a continental breakfast.)

Guest: “Can you fit twenty pounds of seafood in there?”

Me: “Twenty pounds?! I’m sorry but we don’t have that much room.”

Guest: “Oh, oh, well. It’ll just have to stay in the cooler with the dry ice.”

(I still am not sure why he was traveling from Wisconsin to Washington State with twenty pounds of frozen seafood in his pickup but I really didn’t want to ask.)

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Some Security Staff Are Not The Sharpest

, , , , , , | Working | November 2, 2019

I am traveling via plane to Seattle one morning for an appointment and coming back later the same day. All I’m carrying with me is a computer shoulder bag. As I go through the TSA checkpoint, I put my pocket clutter into the basket, thinking nothing of the tiny Swiss Army “gentleman’s knife.” The woman behind the counter informs me she’s confiscating it. I protest that’s it’s in guidelines as a less-than-2.3-inch blade. She says I can leave it or stay with it, my choice.

The trip goes quickly; I get my business done and come back, passing through SeaTac TSA with no problems.

A few weeks later, I’m cleaning out that computer bag and in a bottom pocket, I discover a four-inch Leatherman SuperTool multi-tool I’d forgotten about. It went through TSA detectors twice. That’s 4.5 inches long and weighs over nine ounces, and is clearly forbidden, while they confiscated my tiny knife…

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A Mass Of Jerk Particles Just Walked In…

, , , , , | Right | November 2, 2019

(I am working at a bike shop in a college town. I have been working as a mechanic in some capacity for the past seven years; I know my s***. I also happen to be female and quite young-looking. Today, I am working with a guy about my age, explaining the difference between CO2 inflators and mini pumps. He’s been alternating between hitting on me and questioning my knowledge, which I am, unfortunately, used to dealing with.)

Me: “Mini pumps can take quite a while to fully inflate your tire. If your tire goes flat and you want to get going quickly, I would recommend going with a CO2 system. I do have to caution you that tires inflated with CO2 don’t hold pressure forever. When you get home, you’ll have to reinflate the tire with a floor pump. I’m not sure why it does that; I think it has to do with CO2 being more easily compressible than the regular gas composition in air.”

Customer: *scoffs* “No, it’s because CO2 is a linear molecule. If you were in my chemistry classes, you would know that. You should take classes at [University] instead of wasting your life here.”

Me: “You’re right, my chemistry is a little rusty. I didn’t realize that you were a student at the university; I’m actually about to graduate with my PhD in Political Science.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(He had no comeback for that. The transaction finished in embarrassment — from him — and tense — from me — silence. The guy ended up purchasing a mini pump which, by the way, kids, is the wrong decision if you are running your mountain bike tires tubeless.)

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This Service Is On Fire

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2019

(I work in a hotel. Our breakfast starts at six am and ends at ten. We have a conveyor-type toaster. Since we are full, I’m working at the front desk while another woman handles the breakfast room. She is normally very soft-spoken, so when I hear her almost yelling I come running.)

Coworker: “[My Name], FIRE!”

(I grab the extinguisher and run in. Out of the toaster pops a paper bowl on fire. Instead of using the extinguisher and shutting down the area, I dump it into a bowl of water. A guest is standing to one side giggling.)

Me: *barely staying polite* “Why would you put a paper bowl through the toaster?! The sign says bread and English muffins only!”

Guest: “I don’t know.” *giggles*

Me: “That is a $400 toaster! If you break it that way, you have to replace it, and we have cameras.”

(The guest stops giggling and runs out of the room.)

Coworker: “Sorry, I didn’t see him put it in.”

Me: “It is not your fault. It’s going to be a long four hours, huh?”

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Unfiltered Story #161910

, , | Unfiltered | September 4, 2019

(I work in the electronics section at a major retailer. A customer walks over to me and asks if we carry [obscure item].)

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry that item in-store.”

Customer: “No, I’m sure you have [item].”

Me: “Sorry, I really don’t think we do. You can order it online, though, and pick it up in a few days.”

Customer: *with a condescending smile* “You must be new here. I know you sell that item.”

Me: “We really don’t, sorry.”

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll go find it myself.”

Me: *frustrated by now* “OK. Have a nice day!”

(The customer then proceeded to walk up and down the aisles, looking for the item. She never found it, and I haven’t seen her again.)