Pink And You’ll Miss It, Part 2

, , | Right | June 21, 2020

I am working at a beer and wine bar for a time-share presentation. An older woman leaves her seat and returns to my bar.

Customer: “I’m going to give this back to you and I think you can see why.”

She holds up her full glass which has a faded but large and noticeable lipstick stain.

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. That type of lipstick is pretty nasty and often the dishwasher can’t fully get it off. Let me get you a fresh glass.”

The woman looks confused and looks back at her glass and points at the base.

Customer: “No, it’s chipped!”

I notice that she happens to be wearing the same shade smeared all over the lip of the glass.

Me: “Well, I guess we won’t have to worry about washing it, then.”

Pink And You’ll Miss It

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Call Me By Your Name… Or Hers…

, , , | Working | May 21, 2020

I run the front desk at a busy staffing service. We happen to have two women in the office who have the same name. I answer the phone today and have this conversation:

Me: “Good morning, [Staffing Service]. How can I help you?”

Guy: “I need to speak to [Employee’s First Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, we have two [Employee’s First Name]s. Which one are you looking for?”

Guy: “[Employee’s Full Name].”

Me: “She’s actually in a meeting right now. Is there something I can help you with?”

Guy: *Clearly annoyed* “I just spoke to a [Employee] and she fumbled with her phone and hung up!”

The other [Employee] had answered a call a few seconds before and no one had been on the other line.

Me: “That was the other [Employee]. The one you are looking for is in a meeting. What can I help you with?”

Guy: “Well, if it’s going to be that much of a problem, I’m just going to go!”

Me: “I’m trying to help you—”

The guy hung up. I took the number off the caller ID and warned [Employee] when she got out of a meeting not to offer the guy a job if he called back.

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It’s Time To Make Room For The Impossible

, , , | Right | May 5, 2020

I have told a guest that we are completely full, and so is everyone else in town. This is pretty standard on summer weekends.

Guest: “Why don’t you just build another room?”

Me: “We aren’t able to expand the hotel in this lot, and new hotels take a while.”

Guest: “No! Just build me a room!”

Me: “…?”

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Unfiltered Story #192455

, , | Unfiltered | April 25, 2020

Our hotel is dog friendly only. I’m setting a guest up with a room as a walk in.

Me – Do you have any pets with you?
Guest – I have a cat.
Me – I’m sorry sir but we only allow dogs.
Guest – That’s what I meant. I have a dog.
Me (thinking “real smooth there”) – Uh huh. Sir, if we catch you with a cat or find any evidence of a cat in the room you will have to pay the $250 cleaning fee.
Guest – Oh. So do you know which hotels take cats?
Me – There are a few (gets names and phone numbers).

The Gift Of Ignorant Bliss

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2020

A customer received an online gift card reimbursement but is having trouble accessing it through his email. I give him a number for actual customer service that could help him solve this problem.

Customer: “Okay, thank you, sir. I hate to bother you further, but is there any information you can give me to speed this up? I’m at the store right now and they don’t know anything about what to do.”

Me: “I definitely understand your concern with that, but at this point, that number for [Retail Company]’s customer service can better assist you since this would be a gift card for their store.”

Customer: “Okay, I understand, but is there anything I could give them to get this done now?”

Me: “I have no kind of information like that. If you’re having a problem accessing the card, this number I gave you will help solve that problem for you.”

The customer proceeds to ask that same question five more times. I tell him five different ways to call that number.

Me: “Sir, I have no other way to communicate to you what you need to do other than hang up the phone and call the number I gave you. I have no information to help you access your card because it is not a gift card from us; it’s a gift card from [Retail Company] and they can help you access it since it goes through their system.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, have a good day.”

Me: “You, as well.”

Customer: “So, what information would they need from me to get this done today?”

I told him I didn’t know and then proceeded to bang my head against my desk after muting my phone.

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