Totally Estúpido! Part 4

, , , | Right | March 13, 2018

(I work at a TV station, and I am answering the Closed Captioning issues phone.)

Me: “Hello, Master Control.”

Viewer: “Why aren’t the captions in English?”

(I check the closed captioning against the dialogue being spoken.)

Me: “Oh, the captioning is in Spanish because they’re speaking Spanish.”

Viewer: “Well, why isn’t it translating it into English?”

Me: “That’s not what closed captioning is for. It’s for the deaf.”

Viewer: “Well, can’t you make it be in English?”

Me: “No, I can’t. Again, that’s not what captioning is for. It’s so the deaf—”

Viewer: “F***ers.” *click*

Related:
Totally Estupido, Part 3
Totally Estupido, Part 2
Totally Estupido

Life Is Stranger Than Soap-Opera Fiction

, , , , , | Right | November 22, 2017

(A local news story about a little girl who was murdered makes national headlines. Our station cuts into the afternoon’s soap opera with breaking news regarding the case.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Station]. How can I assist you?”

Caller: “Why are you interrupting my stories? You can’t do that!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is breaking news regarding the murder case. A lot of people want to know what’s going on.”

Caller: “I know the little girl is dead and all, but you just can’t take people’s television away from them!” *click*

(Sadly that was only one of the many calls we were inundated with during that time.)

Found The ME In Team

| USA | Working | December 1, 2014

(My boss signs our department up to pass out promotional items at local high school football games. This has previously been done by any employee who cared to volunteer, but for some reason, that was no longer good enough. A game is suddenly added to the schedule and the boss is running around the department.)

Boss: “Hey, [Coworker #1], can you go to the game tonight?”

Coworker #1: “No, sorry, I’m signed up for a dinner at church.”

Boss: “Can’t you skip it?”

Coworker #1: “I’ve already committed. I really can’t.”

Boss: *sighs* “FINE. Hey, [Coworker #2], what about you? You can leave early!”

Coworker #2: “I can’t. I’m working my second job tonight.”

Boss: “Why can’t you call in?”

Coworker #2: “Because I could get fired?”

Boss: “Oh, fine.”

(I am the only person in our department who works a later shift.)

Me: “I can do it if you want me to.”

Boss: “No, you need to stay here.”

Me: “But I could run out there for a couple of hours and get back in time to wrap things up.”

Boss: “No.”

Me: “Well… then why don’t YOU do it?”

Boss: *turns to face me with a look of disgust on his face.* “Because I’m the HEAD of the department!”

Me: *whispering after he walks away* “What a team player!”