Equivalence, Meet Ignorance

, , , | Right | September 23, 2009

Customer: “I’m looking for an outfit for a one-year-old girl.”

Me: “Sure, all of the twelve-month clothing is in this section.”

Customer: “No, she’s one.”

Me: “Right, so that would be over here.”

Customer: “You just said that was twelve months!”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *slowly* “I’m looking for ONE YEAR.”

Me: “Would you like to go up one size to 18 months?”

Customer: “Is there someone else who can help me?”

(I go and get my manager.)

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Your employee doesn’t understand English. I’m looking for clothing for my one-year-old granddaughter.”

Manager: “The twelve-month clothes are over here.”

Customer: “What is WRONG with you people?”

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Talk About A Long Weekend

, , | Right | September 22, 2009

Me: “Good afternoon, [Theme Park]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. Can I just ask when are your firework nights this year?”

Me: “They are on the 27th, 28th, and 29th October.”

Caller: “Okay… Are they all Saturdays?”

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Appointment With Stupidity

, | Right | September 18, 2009

Me: “Service Center, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to make an appointment to get my oil changed.”

Me: “All right. Well, just so you know, you can come in whenever you are available during the week.”

Customer: “So, Monday through Friday?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “So, wait… we don’t need an appointment?”

Me: “Nope, just come right in!”

Customer: “So, what your saying is we don’t need an appointment?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I dunno about that.”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “Not having an appointment.”

Me: “Well, do you want me to put you down for an appointment?”

Customer: “You just said I didn’t need one!”

Me: “Well, so you’re not so confused, I can put you in whatever slot you want.”

Customer: “No, I’ll just go somewhere else!”

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Time Is Money

, , | Right | August 31, 2009

(A distressed older gentleman approached me, after having used the self-service copy machines.)

Customer: “I only made four copies in black and white and it’s charging me $19.50!”

Me: “Hmm, that’s a bit odd. Did you take your credit card out already, sir?”

Customer: “Yes! And it started charging me!”

Me: “Wait. It shouldn’t be doing something like that…”

Customer: “It is!”

(We walk over to the copy machine in question.)

Customer: *points* “See? It’s even going up to $19.53!”

(One quick glance and I instantly know what’s wrong.)

Me: “Sir, that is the clock.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Once you eject your card, it goes to the clock, and our card readers are set to 24-hour time.”

Customer: “Ooohhh! Thank you!”


This story is part of our Old People & Technology roundup.

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Dances With Fools

, , , | Right | August 25, 2009

Customer: “I’m hoping you can help me. I saw a movie on TV with Kevin Costner and I want to rent it but I don’t know what it was called.”

Me: “Okay, what was it about?”

Customer: “I don’t know, I didn’t see it all. But what I saw was him with a mustache.”

Me: “Okay. Was it Western-themed?”

Customer: “I didn’t see it.”

Me: “Well, did it look like it was set in a different time period?”

Customer: “No. It was with Kevin Costner. So, some time in the last 30 years.”

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