Unfiltered Story #193711

, , | Unfiltered | May 1, 2020

Today an elderly man grabbed me while I was marking down pizzas, and told me I needed to follow him back to the deli counter (where 3 other employees were available) to cut his meat order (a good 150 feet away). I told him there was someone behind the actual counter that could help him and continued my mark downs.
I got back behind the deli counter at about the same time i heard him harassing my co-worker about the cleanliness of the deli slicers (which by the way are cleaned every 2 hours and more so). On this particular day business was non-stop.
The old man loudly explained to me and other customers that he used to work for OSHA, and that we weren’t following regs, blah blah. We were, it just wasn’t apparent from his perspective because there had been a customer or two before him. When even the other customers began rolling eyes at his outrage, he left to complain to customer service. A few minutes later the store owner came to us and apologized for the crap we had been through. Apparently the” ex OSHA employee” was complaining that we didn’t use bleach to wipe down our slicers every time. As far as we all know, bleach can kill/sicken a person and is NOT used in our deli.

Unfiltered Story #192208

, , | Unfiltered | April 17, 2020

I work at a locally owned cell phone store. For one particular company we have in the store we’re required to charge a $3 fee on top of taxes. We have signs up mentioning the fee and they’ve been up before we even started charging it. On top of that my coworkers and I made sure customers were aware of it.
Customer: “Hi, I need to know how much my bill is.”
Me: “No problem. Let me look it up for you. What’s your phone number?”
She gives me the number and it pulls up a name. After I’ve verified that I have the right customer I pull up her account to see which plan it’s on.
Me: “Okay, I see you’re on the $35 plan. So after taxes and the fee it’ll total up to $40.87.
Customer: “What?? Forty dollars?? Why did it go up??”
Me: “(Company) actually started charging a $3 fee about three months ago. Unfortunately, we’re required to charge it every time a payment is made in the store.”
Customer: “No, that’s bull***! I only paid like, $30 last month!”
Me: “Okay, let me check on that real quick.”
I pull her receipt from last month’s payment, and sure enough, she paid the exact amount last month that I told her she owed this month. So I print out last month’s receipt to show her, thinking that will stop the argument.
Me: “Okay, I checked to see what you paid for last month. It’s the same price it shows now. Here’s last month’s receipt.”
Customer: (Snatching the receipt from my hand) “What?! That’s f***ing crazy! I know what I paid last month! And it wasn’t no forty f***ing dollars!!”
She storms out of the store.
Me: “Oh okay. Have a nice day!”

Sounds Like A Hot Mess

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 8, 2020

My wife and I are at the annual Fiery Foods Show, trying all sorts of hot sauce and salsas. We stop by a booth partially because my wife likes the salsa containers.

We take our samples and taste them and frankly, they’re not very good. The lady apparently thought bell peppers were the same as jalapeños or habaneros, and it is mostly fruit.

She asks us, “How do you like it?”

Not wanting to be rude, I say, “It’s interesting what people use in their salsas.”

Suddenly, she’s almost screaming at us, “THIS IS THE BEST STUFF HERE! EVERYTHING ELSE HERE IS JUST HOT!”

We walk away as she’s still almost screaming so we don’t hear the rest of what she said. My wife turns to me and says, “Doesn’t she understand that this is the Fiery Foods Show?”

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Guard Gone Goofy

, , , , , | Working | March 30, 2020

(I have a birth defect, spina bifida, which caused my legs and feet not to grow properly. Though I can stand and walk some, it is immediately exhausting and I can only walk with support. I use a wheelchair and drive with hand controls. I have a van which I put my wheelchair in from the back passenger door. One day, I drive up to a shopping center, park in a handicap spot, and start getting my chair out. I notice a security guard looking at my handicap license plate. That’s cool, no problem; you can’t tell I’m in a wheelchair right away and I hate when people park illegally. I get into my chair and smile at him. This is not some cheap hospital wheelchair someone might use to pretend they are handicapped; it is an expensive custom fit chair.)

Guard: “Ma’am, do you have your placard for this spot?”

(I look at the license plate he was just looking at, and then I look down at myself.)

Me: “Um… no, I have my license plate.”

Guard: “Oh… Well, I just want to make sure; people steal these spots from people who need them a lot.”

(I look down at myself, and then look at my license plate.)

Me: “Uh-huh…”

(The guard walked away after looking at me blankly for several seconds. I don’t know if he thought the chair meant I didn’t really NEED a close spot, thought I was faking it, or was just on automatic.)

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Their Brains Were Half-Off

, , , , , | Right | March 25, 2020

(I decide to close my storefront and concentrate on other things. I put a big sign in the window that reads, “Grand Closing Sale!” Suddenly, I am getting lots of walk-in traffic, 90% idiots.)

Idiot #1: “So, everything’s half off?”

Me: “No, I’ve marked a lot of things down, but I can’t reduce the prices on the original artwork.”

Idiot #1: *pointing at original painting* “So, I can get this for half off?”

Me: “No. That’s not even marked down.”

Idiot #1: “Your sign says everything’s half off.”

Me: “No. It doesn’t.”

Idiot #1: “It does so; I just saw it.”

Me: *patient voice* “Step back out and read it again.”

Idiot #1: *rereads the sign* “Huh. I thought it did. So, how much will you sell me that for?”

Me: “$1,500.”

Idiot #1: “Why is that print so expensive?”

Me: “Because it’s not a print; it’s the original.”

Idiot #1: *tilts head thoughtfully, as though appraising the painting* “So… how much is it without the frame?”

Me: *having expected this* “$1,600. There’s a hundred dollar un-framing fee.”

Idiot #1: “Oh.” *wanders around for a while, then leaves*


Idiot #2: “Fifty percent off everything, eh?”

Me: “No. Just good prices on the prints and gifts.”

Idiot #2: “Not fifty percent off, like your sign says?”


Idiot #3: *looks around for a while and picks out some items* “I just love a half-off sale!”

Me: “Not everything’s half off.”

Idiot #3: “But your sign said…”

(And on, and on… for the entire month I was closing things out.)

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