I was running the self-checkout when this guy gave me the strangest look, called me by a name that was not mine, asked with a big smile if I recognized him, and then asked if he could hug me.

Normally, I wouldn’t freely hug a stranger, but I was in such shock and confusion that I just kind of stood there while he hugged me like an old pal. I’m pretty sure he was just trolling me, seeing as his friend was laughing his guts out.

After the guy left, my coworker told me that the same guy asked her if he could film inside the store. I didn’t see anyone filming, but if you ever come across a video on YouTube where a guy randomly hugs a blond-haired, wide-eyed, clueless-looking girl at the US’s largest employer… that’s probably me.

Back in the 1990s, when only the police and 911 dispatch had caller ID, one of the most popular ways teenagers and adults with no lives would annoy strangers would be to call them and either sit and not say anything, ask for someone who didn’t live there, or call and immediately hang up.

At one point in time, these calls seriously became a nuisance to our home where every day, at 7:00 am sharp, someone would call and say nothing, and then at 4:30 pm sharp, they would call and ask for a “Sherry Slone.” Every… freaking… day. Picking up the phone and yelling, “F*** OFF!” did nothing but tickle the person pink and encourage them to call more often.

Then, my dad found a rather interesting solution.

Caller: “Hello, is Sherry Slone there?”

My dad pulled my science book out of my lap.

Dad: “Mitosis, a process of cell duplication, or reproduction, during which one cell gives rise to two genetically identical daughter cells. Strictly applied, the term mitosis is used to describe the duplication…”

The caller hung up. The next morning, they called again and my mother answered. They were silent.

Mom: “Oil painting is a hobby that requires both skill and patience. The supplies that I prefer using is a standard X size brush made out of—”

The caller hung up.

And surprise, all the calls stopped.

I’m alone at home and my phone starts ringing.

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer: “Hello, this is [Scammer] from [Phone Provider]. Your phone line will be cut within the next twenty-four hours, so we need you to phone our special number for further instructions.”

I’m working from home due to the sanitary situation, and losing my phone and my Internet would be a VERY bad thing for me. However, there’s something about this woman’s voice that screams “scam attempt.” She makes me write the special number down and it’s becoming obvious that it’s a premium rate number: if I phone them, I’ll lose a lot of money. I could just hang up now or tell her I’m not fooled, but I decide to play with her, instead.

Scammer: “So! You have our number!”

Me: “Yes! 06 26…”

Scammer: “No. I just said 00 26.”

Me: “00 36…”

Scammer: “No. 00 26…”

Me: “00 26…”

Scammer: “76…”

Me: “36…”

Scammer: “No! There’s no 36!”

Me: “How dare you say that? One of my coworkers is thirty-six, and she’s a truly wonderful person!”

Scammer: “There’s no thirty-six in this phone number. Let’s resume.”

Me: “Okay, let’s resume, but please, don’t insult the number thirty-six.”

Scammer: “Goodbye.”

She hung up. I waited twenty-four hours and my line wasn’t cut. I guess it was definitely a scam attempt.=

This story is part of the Phone Scam Payback roundup!

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I’m a paid tax preparer. I have a habit of making educated guesses about clients and, when I’m correct, saying that I’m mildly psychic.

One of my coworkers is very “anti-phooey,” to use his own words. He often gets very upset with me and tries to lecture me on how I cannot possibly be psychic, how it’s all fake, and how I should just admit it and stop pretending.

He’s right that it’s fake, but… frankly, it entertains the clients, it’s none of his business, and some of the choice words he uses in his hours-long lectures upset me.

I have a wide web of contacts, so I arrange for one of my coworkers to come to me as a fake client. Since she’s in on the joke, I have a great deal of fun with her, pretending to read her palm and explaining my “charms” to her — I wear some jewelry just for that day. I can see my angry coworker seething in the next cubicle over as I work my charms on a knowing victim.

Finally, I peak by “psychically intuiting” the amount of her W2 and entering it into the computer without opening her letter.

This triggers my angry coworker, and he barges into my cubicle.

Coworker: “There is no way. There is no way you can psychically gather someone’s W2 information. None. This is all wrong. You’re going to have to delete it and redo it. Do you want to come work with someone who isn’t a charlatan, ma’am?”

Me: “But wait! Before you call me a charlatan, check the numbers!”

Of course, they are spot on; we downloaded her W2 from the company website, and I entered it that way while pretending to be psychic.

My angry coworker splutters, quite flummoxed.

Coworker: “What?! How?!”

Me: “Magic.”

It was totally worth the resulting trip to human resources after my angry coworker’s frustrated bellowing attracted the attention of the entire office. All three of us got written up.

I am watching “Midsommar” when my sister texts me asking me what I’m doing. I tell her I’m watching a movie and I’ll text her later.

Sister: “So, was that movie any good?”

My sister loves horror movies while I mostly find them boring. I enjoyed the movie enough so I think she would like it.

Me: “Yeah, I liked it. It’s free on [Streaming App], so you should watch it when you get a chance.”

Sister: “What’s it about?”

I decide to have some fun with her.

Me: “It’s about a woman who goes on a trip to Sweden with her friends and discovers herself in the process.”

Sister: “That sounds kinda boring, but if you said it’s good I’ll maybe try it.”

Later on in the week, I get another text from my sister.

Sister: “B****, you lied to me! You made it seem like it would be some feel-good movie. It was literally a horror movie!”

Me: “It’s from the same guy who did Hereditary; that should have been your first clue!”

Sister: “What’s Hereditary? I’ve never heard of it before.”

Me: “Oh, it’s a drama about a grieving family suffering from tragedy after the death of their grandmother. It’s really good; you should watch it!”

Sister: “Oh, f*** you.”