When I am a teenager, my grandmother takes me out shoe shopping at a department store. We have been browsing around, seeing if anything catches our eye at a few stores in the mall.

One of the sales ladies greets us as soon as we walked in. That’s not at all unusual. What is unusual is her persistence. 

Sales Lady: “Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Grandmother: “No, thank you. We’re just looking.”

Not a full minute later…

Sales Lady: “Is there something in particular I can help you find today?”

Grandmother: *Much more firmly* “No, thank you. We’re fine.”

Only a few minutes later, when Grandma picks up a shoe to show it to me…

Sales Lady: “Is there a size I can get that in for you to try on?”

Grandmother: *Very curt now* “Honey, I will let you know if we need any help.”

I know my grandma very well, and by her tone, I know that this lady has pushed her much, much further than is wise. For reference, my grandma is one of those little old southern ladies who you never want to get on the wrong side of at the church potluck, you know? I know a “bless your heart” is coming and when it does, d***.

We eventually find a shoe I like.

Grandma: “Want to try this one on?”

Sales Lady: *Appearing instantly* “What size can I get for you?”

Grandma: “Actually, is there someone else here who can help us?”

Sales Lady: *Shocked* “Well, yes, but can I ask why I can’t help you today?”

Grandma: *With a loving smile and a honey-sweet voice* “I’m so sorry, sugar, but I just can’t buy shoes from someone wearing the ugliest pair I’ve ever seen.”

Needless to say, the lady’s coworker helped us with the purchase, and I went home with a new pair of boots and another reason to add to the list of why you don’t push Grandma too far.

The governor had just mandated wearing masks inside any public building for health reasons.

I needed to pick up a few things on the way home from karate but forgot to bring “normal” clothes to change into after class. I walked into the store in my gi and facemask, which are all black.

I looked like a ninja from a bad action flick.

I grabbed my stuff quickly and got in line to check out. 

Most of the people in the store were wearing facemasks… except for the group in front of me. One of them was loudly complaining about the facemasks, sheeple, 5G, etc. I tuned her out after a few seconds. Then, she looked at me and started to say something. I locked eyes with her and said, “You’re next.” 

The woman turned three shades of white and scurried off to the door to wait for her group to finish checking out. 

I had meant that she was next for checking out since she was too busy ranting to realize that the cashier was ready for her. The cashier got a good laugh, so I’m glad I brightened his evening.

This story is part of our Anti-Masker roundup.

Read the next Anti-Masker roundup story!

Read the Anti-Masker roundup!

I am bringing a tray of clean dishes to the front to put away while my coworker is in the back washing more. A little girl, about three years old, wanders near the entrance to the kitchen. Her dad is right behind her.

Dad: “Oh, no, you can’t go in there. If you go in there, they’ll put you to work.”

Me: “Yep. Would you like to wash dishes?”

Little Girl: “Um… yes.”

Me: “Well, in that case, you can stay!”

Dad: “All right. Mom and I will see you later. We’re going home.”

We both expect the little girl to turn around to him, but instead, she begins tip-toeing closer to the kitchen and peeks around the corner of the entrance.

Dad: “Okay, no. You can’t actually stay here and do dishes.” *To me* “Thanks, and have a good night!”

Me: “You, too!”

I’ve just gotten off work and I stop by a grocery store to redeem a scratch-and-win card. Since all the cashiers are packed, I just go over to the customer service desk to wait. It’s only been a minute, and the closest cashier spots me and darts over as soon as he rings out his last customer. For a moment, he looks terrified. 

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ll call the manager over for you right away. It might be a moment, though.”

Me: “Oh, no, it’s fine. You guys are busy; I don’t mind the wait.”

The cashier looks visibly relieved. 

Cashier: “Oh, thank God. I’ve had three people yell at me today because I couldn’t cash out their tickets right away.”

Our deli has two slicers: one for cheese and one for meat. We’re strictly not allowed to use meat on the cheese slicer or vice versa. If it gets busy, often two people will be working, one on each. Despite this being clearly marked and us mostly serving regular customers, every day multiple exchanges like this happen:

Coworker: “Hey, [Customer]! Since [My Name] is getting your meat, can I get you some cheese today?”

Customer: *Oblivious* “Yeah, I’d like a pound of [Brand] turkey sliced thin, please.”