I have been helping a man at the circulation desk for several minutes when this tomfoolery ensues:
Customer: “Are you from Britain? Are you British?”
Me: *Pauses* “Sir, I’m from Alabama.”
Customer: *With a self-satisfied grin* “I thought that was an Alabama accent I was hearing!”
I’m not sure if he realized his mistake and was trying to cover it up, or if he thinks Britain is in the Deep South!
I am usually the person who closes, so I tend to get a lot of crazy people. The day has been rather slow and I end up getting slammed. I am not supposed to have more than a certain amount in my drawer, usually LESS than a hundred dollars. A customer holds out a $100 bill.
Customer: “Can I get five twenties for this?”
I already know I do not have five twenties or enough change in my drawer to break it.
Me: “I am sorry, but I can’t break a hundred right now.”
Customer: “Seriously?! You don’t have five twenties?!”
Me: “No, sir.”
Customer: “Really? You don’t have five twenties?!”
Cue five minutes of me repeatedly telling the man I can’t break it. The customer places a pack of gum on the counter and holds out the hundred.
Me: “I still can’t break it.”
He grabs four sodas.
Customer: “Fine! How about now?!”
I sigh, because the gum and four sodas are only around $8.
Me: “I still can’t break it, sir.”
Customer: “What the f***? Then what do you do if the customer only has a hundred?!”
Me: “They can—”
He cuts me off before I can tell him.
Customer: “You know what?! Never mind!”
He starts to storm out but stops at the door.
Customer: “What’s your name again?!”
Me: “It is [My Name].”
Customer: “Well! You will be hearing from me again!”
He storms out to his car.
Next Customers: “He was a jacka**.”
This happened two weeks ago. I have not heard from him since or anything from corporate. If he did complain, he probably got laughed at, or someone told him he was an idiot for trying to break a hundred dollar bill at a SMALL gas station.
I work in a call center selling a certain kind of Internet. One of the selling points of this Internet is that we restrict the addition of new subscribers in an area, so although someone has coverage in their location, we still may not be able to provide them service, and selling Internet to someone who can’t use the service results in getting fired.
Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; this is [My Name]. What’s the zip code where you’re looking to establish service?”
I get her address and find she doesn’t have service.
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. It doesn’t look like we’re going to be able to provide you service.”
Customer: “You can’t provide service?”
Me: “No, ma’am, according to my system, the tower in your area is full.”
Customer: “Well, that is ridiculous! My neighbor has service!”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, as I said, the tower in your area is full, and we are unable to add any new subscribers.”
Customer: “Just give me the service!”
Me: “Ma’am, I cannot do that, because if I do, I’ll get fired.”
Customer: “Well, I want the service! Kick someone off the tower to give me a spot!”
I start getting very annoyed that this woman isn’t understanding what I am saying, so I start having fun.
Me: “Okay, I’ll get right on that. There, we have a spot all open for you.”
Customer: “Oh, great! So, when can I expect the service to activate?”
Me: “Well, ma’am, to get our service, it’s $115 upfront, and $49.99 a month. Now we have some great—”
Customer: “THAT’S TOO EXPENSIVE! I’M NOT PAYING THAT!”
Me: “Ma’am, it’s fine; there wasn’t room on the tower for you, anyway. I’m hanging up now. You have a nice day.”
After moving into our new home, my husband and I are assigned a new telephone number. Supposedly, numbers are dormant for two years before they are reassigned, but the number we are given clearly has just belonged to someone who left the area without informing his numerous friends and even more numerous creditors. The winner, though, is the bank officer.
The phone rings.
Me: “Hello?”
Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from [Bank]. I’m looking for [Former Phone Number Holder].”
I launch into my speech that is, by now, well-rehearsed.
Me: “I’m sorry. We were assigned this number by the telephone company. We don’t know the guy and we don’t know anything about him.”
The caller pauses.
Me: “…”
Caller: “Do you have another number for him?”
I work both the phones and live chat support in customer service for a background check company. I’m working live chat and have just finished explaining to this customer what package would be best for their needs.
Customer: “Okay. How much is it?”
Me: “It’s $85.”
Customer: “Okay, but how much is it?”
Me: “It’s $85, sir.”
Customer: “Yeah, I know that, but how much is it?!”
After a moment of trying to figure out why he isn’t getting it, I try to word it a little differently.
Me: “The package is $85, sir.”
Customer: “THANK YOU! Was that so hard?!”
The customer left the chat session.
