It’s a busy morning at the hotel where I work, and the phone rings.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I assist you?”

Man: “We just checked out of your hotel, and the lady who checked us in told us we would get our deposit back. When are we supposed to get it back?”

Me: “Since you’re checked out, the hotel has released your deposit. If you used a credit card, you should be seeing it returned very soon — sometime later today if you haven’t received it already. But if you used a debit card, it may take up to three to five business days to see the reflection of your balance.”

Man: “Oh, okay, I see. Hold on, my wife wants to talk.”

I hear jostling noises, and then a loud woman takes over.

Woman: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FIVE DAYS?! I JUST WANTED TO KNOW HOW LONG YOUR CRAPPY HOTEL WAS PLANNING ON KEEPING MY FIFTY DOLLARS! I NEED YOU TO GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. When you checked out, the hotel already released your authorization. It’s up to your bank how fast you will see that deposit come back.”

Woman: “LOOK. FIVE BUSINESS DAYS IS UNACCEPTABLE! I AM ON A TRIP, AND I DIDN’T PLAN FOR ANY EXTRA FEES! YOU NEED TO GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but since you’re already checked out, there’s nothing else I can do on my end to expedite the process. You should give your bank a call.”

Woman: “HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WE CHECKED OUT?! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE YOU RELEASED THE AUTHORIZATION?! I NEED YOU GUYS TO SEND ME MY MONEY BACK!”

Me: “You already told me you checked out. But I am happy to look at the reservation for you. What’s the last name?”

Woman: “THE LAST NAME IS [LAST NAME]”

I quickly look up the reservation. In departures, at the very top of the list, is the reservation for her last name, booked through an online travel agency. It says, “CHECKED OUT,” in bold letters.

Me: “Ah, yes, ma’am, you are indeed checked out. We released your authorization this morning. It’s up to the bank how soon you will see that deposit.”

Woman: “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIX THIS?!”

Me: “You should consider calling your bank.”

Woman: “WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! JUST LEAVE MY THREE KIDS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD?!”

Me: “I’d imagine you should probably call your bank. They should be able to get it sorted out.”

Woman: “YOU NEED TO SEND ME MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I have already explained this to you. There’s nothing we can do any further to get your $50 back to you any faster. If you are having trouble not seeing the authorization released any faster, you should talk to your bank as they are the ones still holding your funds.”

Woman: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Ah, I understand. Unfortunately, it’s my manager’s day off. I can transfer you to her voicemail if you would like?”

Woman: “NO, THAT ISN’T GOING TO WORK! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO CALL MY BANK TO GET MY MONEY BACK! WE’RE NEVER RETURNING AGAIN!

Then, she hung up. (Thank God.)

First Deskians 1:15: “Poor planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on mine.”

Later, housekeeping told me that these very specific guests had also stolen two pillows — the ones that are $24.99 each.

I am in high school, meeting with the school’s guidance counselor to discuss my plans after graduation. I let her know that I am going to attend community college first to do my prerequisites and then a university for the field I am interested in. She heavily discourages this plan because I was accepted into a university; she says I should skip community college because I am “better than that”. She thinks I should take out a student loan and go straight to university. I explain that I want to save as much money as possible. She gets my parents involved, who are annoyed since they are the ones encouraging me to go about it this way and offering to help me through community college. 

A few years down the road, I am now graduating from college. I continued to stay at the community college since I switched to a degree that could be finished through community college, and I am engaged. 

My mom and I are out shopping when we see my old guidance counselor. We say hi, and she asks how I am doing. 

Me: “I’ve been well. I’m graduating this semester and am working on my way to becoming a kindergarten teacher at the daycare I’m working at. I’m engaged and getting married this summer.”

Mom: “She’s also graduating without any debt from student loans.”

Guidance Counselor: “That’s wonderful news. I actually want to apologize for pushing university so hard on you in high school. [Her Daughter, who I graduated with] is already $40,000 in debt from student loans. It’s going to take her years to pay them off, and she’s not even done with her degree yet. I’m now encouraging students to go to community college first.”

I’m happy she changed her stance on it, but I feel for all the students prior to her daughter going to college for whom she pushed student loans for university.

Many years ago, I am working in a gas provider company’s call center. One day, my coworker receives a strange complaint from an old woman. 

In Hungary, there are still some heating devices that look like radiators, but they actually run directly on gas, so there’s no water or whatever in the system. They are ugly-looking and box-shaped.

Coworker: “Hello, [Gas Provider], how can I help you?”

Old Lady: “Hi there. I have called because I suspect that the quality of the gas has declined. Am I correct?”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, yes. We’re getting lesser quality gas from abroad. It should get better within a week.”

Old Lady: “Oh. All right, then.”

Coworker: “May I ask how you realized this?”

Old Lady: “To save money, I usually cook on the ‘gas radiator’ instead of the stove. And [dish], which I can usually make in an hour or an hour and a half, took more than two hours.”

Coworker: “Well, okay. Thank you for your call.”

When we heard the story during our break, all of our hearts went out to the poor old lady using the heating for cooking, too, just to be able to save some money. The dish she was talking about is one you can make on a stove in twenty minutes.

I was talking with someone who wanted me to illustrate their webcomic.

Me: “It sounds like an interesting project. What was your budget for art?”

Client: “Budget? I’m not paying you at first, but once we get going and money starts coming, I’ll make sure you get paid.”

Me: “I can’t work for free. I’m currently working on some art commissions for other people, and since they are paying me, they take top priority. Have you considered raising some funds or doing a Kickstarter?”

Client: “You’re really asking me for money? I’ll have you know that as a freelance writer, I’ve gone by months without any pay, so why should you get paid if I don’t get paid?”

Me: “Well, you’re clearly doing freelance wrong if you’re not getting paid.”

Client: *Blocks me*

I stop into an upscale juice shop on my way to get groceries. After I grab a bottle of juice from their row of refrigerators, I notice an older and younger woman, probably a mother and daughter, already in the store. At that moment, they are cleaning up a puddle of pee from their puppy. The older woman is pulling out wipes while the younger woman is freaking out and trying to apologize.

I walk around them and head over to the counter to pay. The two employees are in the back making smoothies that the two women ordered. I wait off to the side to pay.

Older Woman: *Shouting* “I left a $10 bill on the counter for the extra waters I wanted to buy!”

I look over and notice it’s not there.

Older Woman: *Irate and demanding* “Where is it?!”

One employee comes from the back to bring one of the smoothies. She looks startled.

Employee: “I’ve only just come from the back; I didn’t see the money.”

Older Woman: “This is ridiculous!”

She then looks directly at me. It’s clear she wants to accuse me of taking it, but she knows it’s not a good idea. She holds eye contact with me, willing me to say something.

Me: *Calmly* “I didn’t see it.”

The older woman opens her wallet to pay, muttering under her breath that she’s sure she already paid. All she has is $100, and the cashier says they can’t take it. 

Older Woman: *Loudly* “Well, I did have a $10 but it’s mysteriously vanished!”

The younger woman, to her credit, is trying to get the older woman to look for it elsewhere.

Younger Woman: “Maybe it’s in one of your bags?”

Older Woman: “I don’t know. This is ridiculous.”

She finally walks over to the largest bag they have.

Older Woman: “Unless it’s in here!” 

She dramatically lifted it off the floor — yes, where the dog peed! — and yep, out flew a $10 bill. She handed it to the cashier without acknowledging me.

After she got her change, the cashier gestured for me to come over so I could pay for my juice. Just as I scanned my card, I looked over to see the dog take a poop on the floor. The smell was overwhelming — and I have a dog myself!

The young woman was flustered and clearly mortified, while the older woman just sighed and leaned down to clean up the next mess. I looked at the employee, who had a blank look on her face. I’m saddened to think she might be used to this. 

With my payment done, I walked out to brush off the most ridiculous five minutes of my day.