Me- Hello
Customer- What’s happening, let me get a
peanut butter smoothie
Me- Ok
Customer- No! (Begins heading towards door) This is bad service! Y’all are doing bad service! You’re lucky I don’t smack you right now!
-Customer leaves-
Me – Gee so I offended him because I said ok?
(Still a win in my book since it wasn’t busy and that guy didn’t get a smoothie or his whey for the day ;)) (He’s also a regular lol)
(I am working a shift alone at a smoothie shop when two very confused-looking and nervous teenage girls approach me.)
Me: “Hello! What can I get for you today?”
Girl #1: “Um, hey, can you please tell us…” *fidgets for a while*
Girl #2: “Go on!”
Girl #1: “Can you tell us the difference between America and the USA?”
(I stare at them for a while, wondering if this is a trick question. I answer after seeing that they both are completely serious.)
Me: “You do know that USA stands for, ‘United States of America,’ right?”
(At this, both girls start laughing nervously as one of them pushes the other girl’s shoulder.)
Girl #2: “I told you!”
(Both of them then run away, leaving me to question teenage intelligence.)
(My family is at the store, buying groceries. This particular store happens to have a smoothie bar, and my mother decides that she would like something to drink. My parents wait in line while my brother and I go to get the smoothie for her. While there, we are treated to this interaction. There is a respectable-looking woman at the front of the line, who has just hung up on her cell phone.)
Woman: “One [smoothie], please!”
Cashier: “Sure. Small, medium, or large?”
Woman: “A large. Extra ice.”
Cashier: “Your total is [total]. [Employee near the blender], one large [smoothie] with extra ice!”
(The woman pays. The cashier moves on to the next customer and the woman moves over to watch her drink get made. The employee begins making the woman’s drink and puts a peeled carrot into the blender.)
Woman: *suddenly angry* “No, no, no! You don’t put carrots in first! You put in the tangerines!”
Employee: *looking surprised* “I’m sorry?”
Woman: “Tangerines are first! Not carrots!”
Employee: *still surprised* “Ma’am, this is a [smoothie]. Both carrots and tangerines go in here.”
Woman: “But the tangerines are first!“
Employee: *looks unsure of what to do*
Woman: “You f****** idiot! I’m going to speak to your manager!”
(She marches off, and most of the people in the area seem to roll their eyes or groan. When my brother and I get to the front of the line, this happens:)
Woman: *stomps back to the front of the line, shoving me backwards towards my brother and the two men behind me* “A MEETING! WHAT MANAGER HAS MEETINGS?!”
Cashier: *looking slightly irritated* “Ma’am—”
Woman: “All of you f****** idiots should be fired!“
(She stomps back out of the line and shoves me back again, loudly informing everyone that she plans to call the “boss of the stores.”)
Cashier: *sighs and turns towards me and my brother* “And what would you like?”
Me: *regaining my balance* “…”
Brother: *still staring in the woman’s direction* “Uh… We’ll have a small [other smoothie].”
Cashier: “That will be [total].”
Brother: *hands cashier money* “Thanks. Do you have to deal with her often?”
Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Oh, yeah, she’s a regular—”
Brother: “Ouch.”
Cashier: “But this was a pretty good day for her.”
(I work at a popular smoothie shop where we have two kinds of protein powder customers can add. Most people just say “protein” and I have to ask them to specify.)
Me: “Would you like to put any [extras] in that today?”
Customer: “Yeah, protein.”
Me: “Is that whey or soy protein?”
Customer: *looking very serious* “Oh, whey, of course. Soy is very bad for you, you know.”
(I don’t know how I manage to keep a straight face, but I finish the transaction in perfect professionalism, hand him the key to the bathroom when he requests it, and go straight to the shift leader once he’s disappeared.)
Me: “That guy just told me he definitely wanted whey protein because, and I quote, ‘soy is bad for you.’”
Shift Leader: “You mean the guy who just came in smelling like a pack of cigarettes?”
Me: “Yup! That guy!”
(Our whole store smelled like cigarette smoke for a good ten minutes after he left. But, “soy is bad for you!”)
(While trying to help a customer decide on a drink, she mentions that she’s on a diet because her doctor said to, and wants something healthy.)
Me: “I’d suggest getting a juice. The Tahiti Squeeze is my personal favourite. It’s got apple juice, orange juice, and strawberries.
Customer: “What do you do with it?”
Me: “We cut up apples, we cut up oranges, we juice both of those, and then we add some strawberries.”
Customer: “And then what do you do with it?”
Me: “We blend it a little bit so the strawberries aren’t whole.”
Customer: “And then what do you do with it?”
Me: “We pour it in a cup?”
Customer: “It’s not going to spill while I’m walking, will it?”
Me: “No, we put a lid on it.”
Customer: “How do I drink it?”
Me: “With a straw?”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll get that!”
(Overall her transaction took five minutes. We only have one cash, so there was quite the line up by the time she finally decided.)
