Does Not Recognize the Pattern

(I am stocking up on ingredients when a young lady approaches me.)

Me: Hi! What can I get started for you today?

Lady: Yes, can I get a smoothie? A medium one.

(I wait a few seconds thinking that she’ll tell me what flavor she wanted. When she looks at me expectantly, I ask her:)

Me: Alright, what flavor did you want that in?

Lady: Oh, I don’t know. Where’s your menu?

(I point at it, which is literally a foot away from her. She proceeds to stare at it for a couple of minutes.)

Lady: Okay, give me your [drink].

Me: Okay, is there anything else?

Lady: Give me another medium smoothie. *stares at me*

Me: …. What flavor?

(She repeats the entire exchange {minus asking where the menu is} a few times until she has four drinks to carry off to her family.)

(It’s the rush hour right now. I am helping a customer with there order when a lady who has been helped by my coworker starts yelling. I get into the problem as soon as my customer has been helped.)

Lady: I don’t want it anymore, I demand a refund!

Me: *To coworker* What’s the problem?

Coworker: She wants a refund because the drink isn’t the color she wanted it to be.

(Turns out the lady wanted her drink with strawberries and green veggies to turn out green in color. But the simple and true fact is, when mixed with the right amount of the required strawberries and veggies, it will always turn brown. Red + green = brown.)

Me: *Turning to the customer and looking at her half-empty cup* I apologize for the way your drink turned out. But I’m afraid I can’t refund you when you’ve already drunk half the cup. But I am allowed to and will be more than happy to make you another drink. This time, I can even add in a [supplement that turns the drink green] for free, ma’am. It will help the drink become.. green in color.

Lady: I don’t care for another one, just refund me my drink already!

(This goes on for a few minutes until the lady becomes violent in her gestures and starts to curse. She calls security on us because we apparently ‘stole money’ from her. Security comes by and ignores the lady, telling us not to worry about her. They inform her that there is nothing they can do, and it’s our store policy to not refund already drunk drinks.)

Lady: That’s it, I’m calling the cops!

(The lady calls the cops, all the while glaring at us for doing our job. The cops never showed up in the end and she begins to yell at us again. There is a huge line of customers and my coworker finally gives up and refunds her. She accidentally drops a coin as she is handing it to the lady.)

Lady: Don’t throw the d*** money at me, b****! I will call your manager for this! I’m never giving you any buisiness ever again!

(Thank goodness, lady! Please don’t ever come back. By the way, she took the drink she was complaining about in the end after she recieved her refund. Looks like she just wanted a free drink and was making a huge commotion for it.)

I used to work in a smoothie shop. We make samples sometimes. I’m a guy with fairly short hair and my coworker that day was also a male with fairly short hair (this is relevent).

Customer : [yapping to a friend] “Yeah, yeah I come in here alllll the time, they’re great! I get suuuuch good service and discounts all the time! Hey! Excuse me! My friend would like to try some samples!

Me: [I’ve worked here for over a year… You are not a regular customer.] “Sure thing! What can I get you? Just so you know, our most popular flavors are [rattles off three top sellers]”

Customer: “We’ll try [lists off three most expensive smoothies on my menu].

Me: “Coming right up!” [I go and make the samples myself] “Here you are!”

Customer: “We’ll have two of these!”

Me: “Alright, your total is $12.82, they’ll be out shortly.” [I have my coworker make them. He is competent.]

-several minutes later-

Customer: “Excuse me, these don’t taste right.” [smoothies have hardly anything missing from them. Nothing seems amiss].

Me: “Well! In that case, I can either remake them, or I would be more than happy to make you a different smoothie!”

Customer: “Then can we get two of these?”

Me: “of course and they’re on the house!”

-several minutes later the customer comes back in screaming-
Customer: THIS IS ****ING UNACCEPTABLE. HOW DARE YOU PUT HAIR IN OUR SMOOTHIES! I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER. I WANT REFUNDS, AND REIMBURSEMENTS. I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED.”

Me: “May I see the hair?”

-Customer holds out several strands of long, blonde hair covered in smoothie-

Me: “Well, I just so happen to be a member of management. Let me ask the person who prepared these. [Coworker’s name] GET OUT HERE NOW AND TAKE YOUR HAT OFF.

-coworker comes out. He is not wearing his hat to reveal his extremely short hair.-

Me: “How odd. Neither me, nor my coworker are blonde, nor do we have long hair. Strangely enough, your friend is a blonde though. Tell you what. I will refund you and politely ask that you do not return to this establishment.”

She got her money back. She never came back.

(I work in a popular smoothie chain and have the following conversation — albeit with slight variation — MULTIPLE times a day.)

Me: “All right, then! Can I get a name for the order—”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…?”

Me: “Can I get a name for the order?”

Customer: “OH! I thought you were asking me if I wanted an upcharge.”

(I am by no means a soft-spoken person, either. I often have to be reminded to use my inside voice. I always try to really annunciate, too, to no avail apparently.)

After customers order, we call out the name of the smoothie along with their name to ensure they get the right thing they ordered. The shop is on a college campus and experiences a HUGE volume of customers. We struggle to make sure people get the correct smoothies they ordered sometimes.

Customer #1:
“Hi. Can I get an ah-ky-ee smoothie?”

We commonly get people mispronouncing “acai” this way. The correct way is more like, ah-sigh-ee. None of us mind because it’s kind of a weird word, anyway. We always repeat back the smoothie to the customer so that they are aware of what’s being called out when they get the smoothie.

Me:
“Ah, an acai smoothie? Absolutely. That’ll be [total].”

After they walk away, the customer’s friend says this really haughtily and makes sure it’s loud enough for me to hear.

Customer #2:
“She’s wrong, you know! She’s wrong. It’s definitely ah-ky-ee.”