This Is Not Smoothie Sailing

, , , | Right | March 1, 2021

We have new smoothies in two flavors. This is my first day back, so I haven’t tried both.

Customer: “Have you tried the new smoothies?”

Me: “I’ve tried the chocolate one, but the veggie one should be good, too!”

Customer: “I’m having trouble deciding, but I’m going to have one of those.”

Me: “Okay!”

Customer: “The chocolate one is fine.”

I ring him up and make and serve his smoothie. When we get to the counter, however, there is an issue.

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “Yessir!”

Customer: “Oh, you must have misunderstood me! I wanted the veggie one!”

I remade it because of our satisfaction guarantee; all the while his child was throwing our checkers pieces everywhere while he did nothing.

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The Definition Of Insanity Is Doing The Same Thing Expecting Different Results

, , , , , | Right | January 16, 2021

We have a family of regulars: two adults and three young children. These children have sensitive teeth and can’t drink smoothies with ice in them, so they ask to leave it out. Without ice, a smoothie will not fill the cup because about half of the content is ice. Ice is both to keep it cold and to thicken the smoothie.

Every time they get their smoothies, they complain, even after we explain it to them. When they call my manager, he says the same thing. Corporate says that if we wanted to add ingredients to fill the cup, they would have to pay for them.

The last time I saw them, they took a photo of the cup. I don’t know what they did, but I’m surprised they came back about ten times expecting different results.

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That Was Not Smooth(ie)

, , | Right | November 15, 2020

I work at a juice/smoothie bar that offers absolutely huge forty-ounce drinks and is kind of pricey. I’ve just handed a customer one such drink — forty ounces of pineapple and strawberry smoothie — when the drink slips out of his hands and hits the floor.

It breaks open everywhere, including the main walkway of the store. The guy says nothing but starts trying to wipe the entire flood of smoothie with a single napkin he has.

Me: “Oh, no! Sir, you don’t have to do that! We’ll clean that for you!”

The man stiffens and stands up suddenly at my words. He puts his headphones back in, turns on his heel, and walks straight out of the shop!

Me: “Wait, sir! Let us make you a new one! It’s really okay!”

The man kept walking and straight-up ignored even my boss chasing after him out of the store and partway down the block trying to give him a new smoothie! Obviously, the guy was having a bad day and that was the last straw, but what a way to be out almost $10 of smoothie!

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Fries Are Always An Urgent Matter

, , , | Right | October 13, 2020

I work at a very well-labeled smoothie store; “smoothies” is in the name, and there are large window clings that have pictures of smoothies everywhere, outside and inside.

A man suddenly RUNS into the store, pouring sweat and looking around frantically. He dashes up to my counter and speaks to me, heaving between each word.

Man: “Hey! Hey. Do— Do you sell… Can I have… fries?”

Me: “Er. I’m sorry, sir. This is a smoothie shop. We don’t sell fries.”

The man looks very distressed and is still breathing heavily.

Man: “Uh… Where…?”

Me: “There’s a fried chicken place down the block that sells really good fries, if you wanted to try that?”

The man said nothing and BOLTED out the door and toward the fried chicken place I’d pointed out. I still wonder what caused the fry emergency.

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Supersize Your Name!

, , , | Right | March 3, 2020

(I work in a popular smoothie chain and have the following conversation — albeit with slight variation — MULTIPLE times a day.)

Me: “All right, then! Can I get a name for the order—”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…?”

Me: “Can I get a name for the order?”

Customer: “OH! I thought you were asking me if I wanted an upcharge.”

(I am by no means a soft-spoken person, either. I often have to be reminded to use my inside voice. I always try to really annunciate, too, to no avail apparently.)

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