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Not-So-Smooth(ie) Sailing

, , | Right | December 4, 2021

I work at a smoothie store, and I get an online order. He orders it with no juice, no ice cream, no ice, no fruit, and a bunch of protein powder. It’s literally just a cup with protein powder in it. When he comes in to pick it up:

Me: “What do you want me to do with this? What can I make you?”

Customer: “I don’t know. I don’t want anything. I just wanted to see what you would do.”

I’ll Take The Banana Kids Smoothie, Hold The Steroids

, , | Right | August 20, 2021

I work at a smoothie store where we happen to have a small children’s menu of simple, popular combinations with all ingredients listed out.

Customer: “Hi there! I want a kid’s smoothie for him.”

She points to her six- or seven-year-old child.

Me: “Sure! We have these four options. Which would he like?”

Customer: *Looking at the board* “Oh, well, is there anything he can’t have in those?”

Me: “I’m sorry? What do you mean?”

Customer: “You know! Anything he can’t have. Bad stuff.”

Me: *A little confused but still pleasant* “Like what, ma’am? What isn’t he able to have?”

Customer: *Getting annoyed with me* “You know! Stuff bad for children? Things children shouldn’t have?”

Me: “Um…”

I’m trying to think of what she could mean and diffuse the situation.

Me: “I don’t think so, ma’am. The ingredients are exactly as listed on the board. There’s no added sugar, either.”

Customer: *Very done with me now and flippant* “No! You know. I want to make sure you’re not pumping it with protein or pre-workout or… or something else!”

Me: “Uh… No, ma’am. They’re children’s smoothies; it’s really just fruit as listed on the board. We have strawberry banana, strawberry kiwi—”

Customer: “I see the board! I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything he couldn’t have in it. Oh, whatever! Give us the strawberry kiwi.”

His Negligence Is Bananas

, , , , , | Working | August 12, 2021

I’m allergic to banana, which is a common thickener in a lot of cold, blended drinks. I happen to frequent an ice cream shop that also makes smoothies. I love one smoothie in particular, but I hate ordering it. 

Employee: “Good afternoon! What can I get for you?”

Me: “Can I get a large Sunrise Smoothie, please? Also, I’m allergic to bananas, so I need the blender cup washed before you make it.”

The employee nods and picks up a blender cup from the storage sink with running water where they store the cups between customers to rinse them out. I think he’s about to go wash it in the larger sink with soap, but he just dries it off with a clean towel and heads toward the blending station.

Me: “Excuse me, I really need that washed with soap, not just rinsed off. You use fresh banana in all your smoothies except the Sunrise, and I can not have banana.”

Employee: “It’s all good. This one’s been sitting in the rinser for like, half an hour. “

Me: “It’s really not okay. I don’t want to go to the emergency room today. Either wash the blender or cancel my order.”

He just stood there looking like I was an idiot, so I left. I never went back to that location, and I haven’t had a smoothie since. What is it with people and thinking they know your body better than you?

That One Is On Whoever Came Up With Those Names

, , , | Right | June 21, 2021

I am craving a smoothie, so I pop into my local smoothie shop to order one. I’ve only ordered from this franchise once or twice in the past and am not familiar with their drink names, but I want to get something similar to what I had last time. The only thing I remember about the drink was that it had mangoes and spinach.

Cashier: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi there! I’m sorry, I don’t order from here often. In the past, I ordered a drink that had mangoes and spinach in it. Do you have a drink like that?”

Cashier: “Spinach is in it?”

Me: “Yeah… or maybe it was kale? I don’t know, I definitely remember spinach. It had mangoes, too. 

Cashier: “Ah, okay. So, spinach is in it?”

Me: “Yup, it had spinach.”

Cashier: “Okay, your total is [total].”

I just assumed she knew what I was talking about, so I paid and moved to the side. As I was waiting for my drink, I glanced at the menu board, wondering what the name of the drink was. My eyes scanned the board until I found it. 

The drink name? “Spinach Is In It.”

The cashier and I had a good laugh about that one!

He Suddenly Feels Very Small

, , , | Right | April 10, 2021

A customer approaches the register and orders a small smoothie. Our smoothies are ridiculously sized, starting at twenty ounces for a small and up to forty ounces for a large! As such, corporate is very picky that we get customers to pick a specific size either by ounce or saying small, medium, or large. I ring the small smoothie through, make it myself, and hand it over to the customer at the end of the line. Up until now, the guy has been a pretty standard customer. He looks at his smoothie and doesn’t take it, however.

Customer: *Politely* “Oh. I ordered a regular size.”

Me: *Double-checking the ticket* “I have you down for a small. Is the size not what you expected? We can ring you up for something different. We don’t have a ‘regular’ size here. We do small, medium, and large.”

The man becomes completely incensed.

Customer: “No! I always order regular! You do make that size. I have my receipt right here!”

He waves it around a little before setting it on the counter and pointing angrily at it. As he points, he reads it for the first time and sees that he did order a small. Slowly, he looks at our menu board that also lists our sizes. The man just totally deflates and ends his sudden anger.

Customer: “Oh.”

To his credit, he took the smoothie he ordered and didn’t say another word!