(I work as a student supervisor at a smoothie place on campus. A woman says this to me one Saturday night.)

Customer: “Is there any way you could make that smoothie less cold?”

Me: *confused* “Um, excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, you see, it’s for the kids, and they cannot handle cold drinks.”

Me: “All right, would you like it made with less ice and more water, then?”

Customer: “No, no, no! That’ll dilute the flavor! I want it less cold!”

(Knowing there is no way to do this, I simply make her a normal kiwi smoothie. She smiles at me and says:)

Customer: “That wasn’t so hard, now, was it?”

(I work at a smoothie bar. When we prepare fruit, we leave them on the counter before we put on lids for each container. A woman comes up, takes a napkin, takes a whole handful of mangos from off the counter, and starts to walk away.)

Me: “Um, excuse me, ma’am! You cannot take those!”

Woman: “I’m sorry, they just looked so delicious!”

Me: *taken aback* “All the same, ma’am, you cannot take those.”

Woman: *completely serious* “It was very rude of you to tempt me by putting these out like this!”

(I look at her, confused.)

Woman: “And very unsanitary, too! Anyone could just come up and take some. If anything, I’m teaching you a lesson.”

(She stormed off after angrily throwing away the mangos.)

Me- Hello

Customer- What’s happening, let me get a
peanut butter smoothie

Me- Ok

Customer- No! (Begins heading towards door) This is bad service! Y’all are doing bad service! You’re lucky I don’t smack you right now!

-Customer leaves-

Me – Gee so I offended him because I said ok?

(Still a win in my book since it wasn’t busy and that guy didn’t get a smoothie or his whey for the day ;)) (He’s also a regular lol)

(I am working a shift alone at a smoothie shop when two very confused-looking and nervous teenage girls approach me.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you today?”

Girl #1: “Um, hey, can you please tell us…” *fidgets for a while*

Girl #2: “Go on!”

Girl #1: “Can you tell us the difference between America and the USA?”

(I stare at them for a while, wondering if this is a trick question. I answer after seeing that they both are completely serious.)

Me: “You do know that USA stands for, ‘United States of America,’ right?”

(At this, both girls start laughing nervously as one of them pushes the other girl’s shoulder.)

Girl #2: “I told you!”

(Both of them then run away, leaving me to question teenage intelligence.)

(My family is at the store, buying groceries. This particular store happens to have a smoothie bar, and my mother decides that she would like something to drink. My parents wait in line while my brother and I go to get the smoothie for her. While there, we are treated to this interaction. There is a respectable-looking woman at the front of the line, who has just hung up on her cell phone.)

Woman: “One [smoothie], please!”

Cashier: “Sure. Small, medium, or large?”

Woman: “A large. Extra ice.”

Cashier: “Your total is [total]. [Employee near the blender], one large [smoothie] with extra ice!”

(The woman pays. The cashier moves on to the next customer and the woman moves over to watch her drink get made. The employee begins making the woman’s drink and puts a peeled carrot into the blender.)

Woman: *suddenly angry* “No, no, no! You don’t put carrots in first! You put in the tangerines!”

Employee: *looking surprised* “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Tangerines are first! Not carrots!”

Employee: *still surprised* “Ma’am, this is a [smoothie]. Both carrots and tangerines go in here.”

Woman: “But the tangerines are first!“

Employee: *looks unsure of what to do*

Woman: “You f****** idiot! I’m going to speak to your manager!”

(She marches off, and most of the people in the area seem to roll their eyes or groan. When my brother and I get to the front of the line, this happens:)

Woman: *stomps back to the front of the line, shoving me backwards towards my brother and the two men behind me* “A MEETING! WHAT MANAGER HAS MEETINGS?!”

Cashier: *looking slightly irritated* “Ma’am—”

Woman: “All of you f****** idiots should be fired!“

(She stomps back out of the line and shoves me back again, loudly informing everyone that she plans to call the “boss of the stores.”)

Cashier: *sighs and turns towards me and my brother* “And what would you like?”

Me: *regaining my balance* “…”

Brother: *still staring in the woman’s direction* “Uh… We’ll have a small [other smoothie].”

Cashier: “That will be [total].”

Brother: *hands cashier money* “Thanks. Do you have to deal with her often?”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Oh, yeah, she’s a regular—”

Brother: “Ouch.”

Cashier: “But this was a pretty good day for her.”