Unfiltered Story #154737

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 13, 2019

(Working as a cashier in a grocery.retail shop three men walk up being loud and obnoxious and obviously really high)

Me: -finishing checking out customer #1- Have a nice day!

Customer #2: Don’t mind us we are…really really high! hahaha!

Customer #1: O..k..-leaves quickly-

Customer #2: I am really high! Can you smell it?

Me: a bit…

Customer #2: I am really sorry ma’am..

Me: Its okay… Your total is **.**

Customer #2: -pays- Keep the change. Keep it.. Keep it and think about…me about the really stoned guy the next time you wanna help someone out, think of me!

He Literally Has A Screw Loose

, , , , , | | Healthy | June 7, 2019

(My stepdad has Meniere’s disease, and years ago, he had a doctor remove one of the ossicle bones in his ear, rendering him with a complete conductive loss in one ear. Because this is the only reason he can’t hear, his doctor recommends he try a bone-anchored hearing aid, which bypasses the outer and middle ear and lets him hear through the inner ear. The initial surgery involves placing a screw in his skull, and before he can use the hearing aid, this area must heal. It’s been taking a while to heal, and one night, while my mom is at work, my stepdad calls me to the bathroom.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Stepdad: “Come here. Look at my screw.”

(I take a look at the area, but I can’t see the screw. It’s so covered in blood that all I can see is an indention, so I fear the screw has fallen in.)

Me: “I can’t see it!”

Stepdad: “That’s because it’s right here.”

(He held out his hand, where he’d been holding the screw the whole time. After this, I made him call my mom’s work to let her know. They sent her home because “her husband’s screw fell out of his head.”)

Unfiltered Story #153754

, , | | Unfiltered | June 7, 2019

(I’m a manager for something of an ‘urban’ store targeted at 20-something year olds. We sell jewelry for body piercings along with novelty goods and ‘adult’ items. This happens as I’m helping multiple guests with the jewelry case. Note: Any promotion we have is noted by multiple signs all over the store including a large sign in the front.)

Guest: *Selecting jewelry* I want that one.. It’s buy one get one a dollar right?

Me: *Unlocking the case to retrieve the jewelry* Ah, no it’s buy one get one half off.

Guest: Oh alright.. I want that one too. *Points at another piece of jewelry*

Me: *Pulling it out* Do you have our punch card?

Guest: Nah, I think I did awhile ago but I lost it.

Me: That’s ok, I’ll give you a new one. Is that all you wanted?

Guest: They’re buy one get one a dollar right? So I should pick out more. *Begins to look*

Me: They’re buy one get one half off.

Guest: So they’re buy one get one free?

Me: Half off. So 50% of the cheaper piece.

Guest: Oh, so they’re a dollar?

Me: No.. This one is $14.99 and the other is $12.99, so you’ll be paying $14.99 plus $6.99.

Guest: Oh okay.

(I begin to check him out and assume that everything is ok now. As I’m ringing him, he brings it up again.)

Guest: So they’re buy one get one free?

Me: No.. buy one get one half off..

(He bought them, but I don’t know if he ever understood our promotion!)

Not Married To The Idea Of The Suit

, , , , | | Friendly | May 30, 2019

(I am in a community theater play that is set in the 1970s. We’re asked to try to find period clothes. I come in wearing a suit from the time.)

Cast Member: “That is one ugly suit!”

Me: “Yeah.”

Cast Member: “I’m serious. It’s like something Pee Wee Herman would wear. Where did you get it?”

Me: “It’s the suit my dad got married in.”

[Citation Needed]

, , , , , | | Learning | May 29, 2019

(I’m at a conference for school librarians, attending a discussion about disinformation on the Internet.)

Speaker: “It’s amazing how often educated teachers will blindly believe something they’ve read on the Internet without bothering to verify it. One district banned the Amelia Bedelia books because of something false they read online.”

Me: “What did they read?”

Speaker: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “When did this happen?”

Speaker: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Could you give us the URL of your source? I’d like to read this.”

Speaker: “I can’t; I saw it on a friend’s page.”

Me: *thinking* “So, you just read something on the Internet and blindly believed it without bothering to verify it?”

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