A major winter storm has hit our area, but after a day or so, I go out to brave some Christmas shopping. I want to buy a large tin of popcorn from a local specialty store, a very common and popular gift for the holidays. Upon entering, I notice an irate woman yelling at the lone employee.

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t have any popcorn tins?! I drove all the way here, and I need those for gifts!”

Employee: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but as I explained, our trucks have been delayed by the weather. We’re running about a day behind.”

Customer: “That is unacceptable! It’s Christmas! You must always keep tins in stock! Go look in the back!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but what you see here is what we have in stock. The trucks were delayed by the ice on the roads. You can purchase one of the smaller bags you see here, or you can come back another day, but I cannot sell you a tin today.”

The woman angrily grabs a couple of bags, muttering, pays, and leaves.

Employee: “How can I help you?”

Me: “Well, I had the same question about the tins as her, but I heard what you said about the truck, so I guess just a cherry limeade, then.”

The employee looks cautiously over my shoulder, making sure the woman is out of sight before leaning closer to me.

Employee: *Smiling* “If you want to come back, the truck will be here in twenty minutes.”

It’s worth it to treat people nicely!

I work in a school. This was the school’s schedule for the last day before Christmas break.

• 12:30: Kids go home (early dismissal).
• 1:00-2:00: Staff holiday party.
• 2:00-4:00: Work in classrooms.

Me: “Could I leave when the kids are gone for a family event? I’ll take half a personal day.”

Principal: “Well, district policy is that you can’t take a personal day the day before a holiday break. I’ll have to get the superintendent’s approval first.”

Later, the principal got back to me.

Principal: “I’m sorry, but the superintendent says that since it’s a contracted day, you can’t leave early.”

At the start of the party:

Principal: “The superintendent just told me that everyone can leave early today! Go home after the party!”

Principal: *To me* “Now you can go to your family thing! What is it?”

Me: “A production of A Christmas Carol. But since you told me I couldn’t leave early today, they gave away my ticket.”

I missed something fun with the family because my boss’s boss wanted to make a big surprise about getting to leave early.

I’m in line behind a customer who’s buying a battery.

Cashier: “Do you want your receipt?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

The cashier throws the receipt away.

Customer: “Do you guarantee your batteries? What do I do if I install it and it doesn’t work?” 

Cashier: *Fishing the receipt from the trash* “That’s why I asked if you wanted your receipt.”

I worked for a popular chain restaurant all through college, and the water from the faucet in the ladies’ restroom was always cold. I had a woman stop me one evening as she was exiting the restroom to tell me that we needed to have a plumber fix the hot water.

Woman: “The cold water doesn’t kill any germs. What’s the point of washing your hands?”

Me: “That’s not how that works.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “The purpose of washing your hands is to wash away the germs. If the water were hot enough to kill them, it would scald you.”

Woman: *Laughs* “Oh, honey, wow… I guess that’s why you’ll always be a waitress!” *Walks away*

For the record, I was a biology major, and I’m a nurse practitioner now. 

Related:
H2-D’oh!, Part 8
H2-D’oh!, Part 7
H2-D’oh!, Part 6
H2-D’oh!, Part 5
H2-D’oh!, Part 4

This story takes place in 2021.

Customer: “You don’t have half the stock you used to! What’s going on?!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. There have been recent global shipping challenges and now the blocked Suez Canal has slowed things even further.”

Customer: “I don’t see how a boat in Egypt can have anything to do with clothes in central Missouri!”