Someone Has To Be Princess Peach

, , , , , , | | Learning | May 13, 2019

(I’m beginning a Spanish class for first- and second-graders. I give them a list of Spanish first names for them to choose from, typical for a foreign language class. Two minutes later:)

Me: “No, you can’t all be called Mario!”

Dungeons And Duplo

, , , , , , | Friendly | May 2, 2019

The library I work at recently started a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that I decided to join outside of work. This particular incident happens during our second meeting. Because most of the group is new to playing, we are still in the process of creating our character sheets and learning a little about what the DM expects. We are meeting in the library’s main meeting space, which is the first room you come to from the side entrance; we’ve kept the door open in case anyone wishes to inquire and possibly join.

About 30 minutes into the meeting, a woman enters the library and stops in the doorway of the room. She’s wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap. She asks, “Is this the D & D class?”

Immediately, I’m suspicious, but as I am not working, I can’t officially do anything… yet. I tell her it is and ask if she would like to join us. Without a word, she storms into the room, lugging two giant suitcases behind her. Everyone is staring at her as she opens one of the suitcases and begins pulling out a bunched-up bed sheet. I ask her who she is, what she is doing and if she is planning on joining us. I also warn that if she’s planning on being a Dungeon Master, we already have one; we think maybe she has toys or figurines for us to play with.

As it turns out, the woman does want us to play… with blocks of Duplo Lego. Instead of answering our questions, she tells us to continue with our “meeting,” and that she will sit in the middle and play with the blocks. She begins handing out different colors to each of us, and I decide to try to ignore her enough to talk to the DM about something to do with my character. Sure enough, every time I try to talk, the woman loudly shuffles the blocks and then grows quieter when I stop.

I tell the woman that I work at the library and would like to know what she is doing, but I realize that she does not plan on leaving. I race out of the room to grab the assistant director, telling her that there is a woman who refuses to leave. The assistant director follows me back and tells the woman that she needs to leave if she does not wish to join our campaign. The woman asks if she can borrow a pair of headphones, pulling out a small radio covered in drawings of crosses and what I recognize to be Bible verses. The assistant director agrees and leaves the room only to come back with a copy of the library policy. She instructs us to pack up and go into her office while she talks to the woman. The woman immediately begins to clean up the Lego blocks and marches out of the building with suitcases in tow.

After a short discussion, the group decides that, despite being quite shaken up, we will continue to meet that day, but in the library’s locked basement to prevent a repeat of the event. As it turns out, the woman was super religious and was, in fact, protesting the Dungeons and Dragons campaign. While I’ve been aware that this happens everywhere, it was the first time it had happened directly to me. (Side note, our campaign is still going strong and our DM is amazing!)

You Donut Know What I Have Been Going Through Today

, , , , | Hopeless | May 1, 2019

(The gym where I’m employed has a monthly fee and a smaller fee that’s automatically charged on the same day once a year. This fee is to help cover maintenance, new equipment, paint and tile upgrades, parking lot resurfacing, etc. I work at the front desk and, as this is my first year, this is my first time fielding questions regarding this charge. I have been dealing with dozens of phone calls and walk-ins from angry members for the past week when a regular member comes in carrying a box of donuts.)

Member: “I saw that you all charged me a fee on top of my regular monthly fee last week.”

Me: *preparing for the worst* “Yes, ma’am, if you still have a copy of your contract, you’ll see—“

Member: “Oh, I know. I read my contract after seeing the charge and found where it says you all need a yearly enhancement fee. I bet you’ve had to explain it to many angry people.”

Me: “You have no idea!”

Member: “Well, I was almost one of them until I read my contract again. I can only imagine what you all up front have had to go through with this. I thought these donuts might brighten your day, as well as that of the rest of the front desk crew.”

Me: “Wow! Thank you so much!”

Member: “No worries. Don’t let the bad ones get you down!”

(My faith in humanity and my club’s members was pretty much restored after that!)

Correcting Mothers Can Be Rewarding

, , , , , | Related | April 27, 2019

(My mom and I are from Michigan, but we’re on vacation in St. Louis. We stop at a drugstore to buy a bag of ice. My mom goes into the store while I sit in the car to listen to the radio. She comes back out to the car 30 seconds later.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Mom: “I forgot my rewards card.”

Me: “Your rewards card is for [Drugstore #1]. This is a [Drugstore #2]. In fact, I’m pretty sure there isn’t a single [Drugstore #1] in the entire area.”

(She stopped for a moment and walked back into the store. I love my mother, but I swear she can be ditzy at times.)

Will Not Give Them Credit For Assuming

, , , , , | Working | April 25, 2019

(I am 21, checking out at a popular women’s underwear store. As I am checking out:)

Employee #1: “Would you like to sign up for a [Brand] card today?”

(At this question I take a moment to contemplate opening up a credit card here since, granted, I shop here a lot and want to build credit. However, before I can answer [Employee #1], [Employee #2], who I guess has been listening, chimes in.)

Employee #2: “She can’t have one.”

Me: “Why not?”

Employee #2: “It’s a credit card, and you need to be 18 to have a credit card.”

Me: *pulling my credit card out of my wallet* “Like this one?”

(The rest of my transaction was done very quietly and awkwardly. I understand that I look young, but they could have asked if I was 18 or older instead of assuming.)

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